This begins my inquiry about end of life matters. To get to the point here's the Scenario: I am an American citizen, and have no plans to renounce. For the time comes, my wish is to die, be cremated, leave my remains and a will to the person I love in the Philippines.

Suggestions, comments anyone?

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Answers:

My wife is much younger than I am as is the case with most or many of us here, you too, my wild guess. I would be cremated too, Ron. And she would agree. She respects my wishes, especially about my own disposal. But that would not be consistent with *her* cultural values. Since I am here I will be have a traditional funeral so she can go through the grieving process or "celebration," of my death, if I can use the later term, I believe more appropriate in this culture.

I suggest it may be in the best interest of the Filipinos who love you to have a traditional funeral. And you will not mind at all, of course. All this I say making the assumption that I die before my wife does. But there is a saying, "Bad grass dies last." So you never can tell.

A US funeral director wrote, one who lives here part time and will be living here full time soon:

This is my day for dealing with death. A member just wrote and asked about dealing with the death of a child and about adoption of a child.

Knowing that, I will reply to your post regarding end of life matters.

There are two crematories that I know of in the Philippines (Manila) Area. I went to Houston Memorial Gardens in Sukot, Paranaque, (sorry for the spelling). There cost is or was $195 (or about 9500 pesos in January of 2005). I do not know of the other crematory as I did not need their service. Cremation is catching on in the Philippines. More and more Filipinos are gravitating towards this means of disposal of a human remains.

We all speak of putting ourselves in a shoe box and burying ourselves in a vacant lot. What most of us forget is that we have family that will mourn our loss. Your departure will be tough on your family. Their arm can be easily twisted when your death is fresh. Funeral personnel are taught to twist arm and make sales. This IS COMMON practice is both the USA and in the PHILIPPINES. How many on this group will die?

FACT: All of us will die. A real human will make arrangements for that departure and avoid having his or her family make that arrangement. You can go into the funeral home, in the USA and in The Philippines, and make what is called PRENEED Funeral arrangements. You need not have cancer or be in bad health. Once you have made the arrangements, give a copy to all your kids, your spouse and keep or give one to a best and trusted friend, and unemotional trusted friend.

Have I made preened arrangements? Yes, both my paternal grandparents had preened, as did my father and my mother. I saved $1256 USD by prearranging for my mothers cremation. Money saving is another reason to preened.

There are many types of service. Burial, donation, entombment, cremation... to name a few. Burial in PI is most common. Cremation comes in several types. Direct with no viewing or service, cremation with no viewing but with a memorial service and cremation with viewing and with cremation following the viewing, are examples. After cremation, cremated remains can be placed in an urn, or left in a container given to you by the crematory. The urn and or cremated remains (cremains), can be kept at home, put on display publicly or buried. The cremains can also be scattered.

Roman Catholics should know the Church wishes the remains stay in one container and be entombed in a small receptacle or buried. Catholics can be cremated with in the rules of the Roman Catholic Church. The church does not care for scattering or splitting the remains of a deceased. Cremation is usually cheaper in the USA. In the Philippines, it is often the same or more in cost. When arranging a funeral you can shop around. You can shop for a house, car and a wedding, why not a funeral?

Funeral directors have an advantage as few want to discuss funerals and become comfortable with the issue of death.

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