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Early Childhood
A shift from a highly indulgent to a
more authoritarian parental stance occurs as the child
approaches school age, which is when it is believed that
children develop isip, or thoughts. Particularly after
the child is weaned, older brothers, sisters, relatives,
and neighborhood children become substitutes for the
mother's constant attention. Older children, regardless
of their sex, are expected to help with household chores
and to care for younger siblings. The younger child, in
turn, must learn to conform to family expectations of
respect for elders and obedience to authority, adults,
parents, older siblings, and other substitute
caregivers. The child is further expected to know the
difference between good and bad behavior and is subject
to various discipline practices (PAPEP, 1982).
Discipline in traditional Pilipino homes depends a great
deal on appeals to duties and obligations of family
members based on their respective roles.... Children are
disciplined by spanking, hitting, scolding,
embarrassment through teasing, or reprimanding for being
walang hiya (shameless, thoughtless, or insensitive),
bastos (crude), walang utang na loob (ungrateful), or
for being a source of shame to the family. (Santos,
1983, p. 141) Traditionally, the mother is the chief disciplinarian
because she typically spends more time with the children
and therefore finds more occasions calling for
punishment. The father tends to punish the children less
frequently, in part because of their recognition of his
absolute authority (Santos, 1983).
Among those behaviors that are more severely punished or
condemned are sibling directed aggression, as well as
hostility toward kinship group members. Teasing serves
as a means of limit setting and controlling or
suppressing anger and hostility; it also is an outlet
for anger and an acceptable substitute for overt
aggression and direct criticism. Children are encouraged
to subordinate their personal interests and competitive
behaviors for the sake of cooperation and maintaining
family harmony and smooth interpersonal relationships.
Modesty, politeness, respect, and patience are
consistently encouraged in daily behavior (PAPEP,
1982).
Stricter parental authority and guidance thus foster
mutual dependency and loyalty throughout the Pilipino
child's transitional socialization experiences during
the preschool period. In fact, earlier surveys conducted
in the Philippines have indicated that "obedience to
parents" is one of the highest ranked child rearing
values, second only to "trust in God" (Church, 1986).
Such expectations and corresponding practices condition
the child to abide by the previously described
traditional values (e.g., being socially sensitive and
considerate; anticipating the needs of others;
reciprocating when receiving a favor; using pleasant,
correct, and euphemistic language; avoiding aggression,
confrontation, discourtesy, shame, criticism, or
embarrassment). As the child reaches school age, he or
she has typically developed a strong sense of family
responsibility and further understands the traditional
rules and values that govern interpersonal relationships
(Anderson, 1983).
Death
Traditional beliefs about death and
dying among Filipinos are interrelated with the various
religious orientations that were described in the
previous section. The principal denominations that
account for nearly 95% of the Philippine population are
Catholicism, Protestantism, and Islam. Beliefs about
death and dying correspond to each of these major
religions that have been extensively detailed in
theological literature.
Although the vast majority of native Filipinos are Roman
Catholic, their funerary customs differ somewhat from
those of the West. Essentially, the "grieving process"
is less private and mournful. For example, it is not
unusual for a passing traveler to be invited to a wake
before the burial. Wakes are well attended, and the mood
may be anything but somber. Expressions of fond
remembrance are accompanied by eating, drinking, card
games, and music. Such parties are repeated annually on
All Saints' Day (November 1) when family and friends
meet at the cemetery for an all night vigil. In rural
areas, funeral processions pass through the streets,
with family and friends following the hearse while
passersby toss money (Harper & Fullerton, 1994.
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