The complete centrality of family life and the importance of family loyalty, obligation, and interdependence are previously described. These values are supported by a family structure and kinship ties that reflect the multicultural Pilipino heritage. Having withstood Hispanic Catholic influence, the ancient Malay tradition of equality between men and women translates into a bilateral extended kinship system. Both the mother's and father's lineages are of equal importance. Thus, for example, names may be inherited through the male line or both the father's and mother's family name; it is not unusual for the mother's maiden name to be given as a child's middle name. Inheritance patterns further call for equal division between daughters and sons (Aquino, 1981; UPAC, 1980). 

     Although expanded through bilateral lineage, the extended family system is further [MPS1] enlarged by the compadrazgo system, a legacy of Spanish colonial Catholicism. In addition to relatives by blood and marriage, each Pilipino gains relatives through godparent rituals and ceremonies. Typically, more wealthy and powerful acquaintances close friend or neighbor of the natural parent is called on to serve as a godparent (known as ninong or ninang to the child) and as surrogate parental relationship to the child by virtue of acting as a sponsor at the religious rites of baptism, confirmation, and marriage. Godparents or compadres also assume more active roles as benefactors who may be expected to participate in their godly socialization, oversee his or her religious education, assist in times of financial need, contribute to the cost of the child's education and assist in finding him or her employment. In addition to compadres, landlords and employers may further be viewed as surrogate parents to adult family members ; thus, other social institutions and relationships also become incorporated into the extended family system. The compadrazgo system extends and binds family ties, loyalties, obligations, reciprocity, and interdependence among people in the community (Agbayani-Siewert & Revilla, 1995). Through this expanded network of kinship relationships, a  is likely to consider 100 or more individuals as "relatives" (FAFEF, 1982; Santos, 1983; Yap, 1982). 

     The extended family is, in effect, the basic unit of Philippine society. Within given households, nuclear families average six to eight members in size. Unmarried adult daughters and sons typically remain in their parents' home and contribute to family support. Additional extended family members such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins also may live in the same house and assume vital roles (Almirol, 1982; PAFEF, 1982; Santos, 1983). Unfortunately, for increasing numbers of  Filipino-Americans, the role of extended family in the Philippines has become that of caregivers for problem adolescents who are sent back "home" to live with them. Lack of parental supervision (with two parents working full time), the need for economic survival, and the stress of acculturation have compelled many parents to remove their teenagers' from the home and draw on the family support system in the Philippines (Agbayani-Siewert, 1991).

  The information below may be interesting to you.  To have family values, you must have a family.  Here are the customs in place in the province for courtship and marriage.

  Courtship and Marriage Rites in the Philippine Provinces
feature originally came out in NY. Pilipinas!

  Perhaps of all customs and rituals, none is as important to a society as courtship and marriage. For it is in these events that a culture secures its continuity. Ties are created, where previously there were none. Families clans are united. And through the observance of traditional courtship, the individuals find a bond, not only to each other, but to generations past... ancestors who have lived and loved and forged relationships in like manner.

This page takes us through the different kinds of courtship practiced in the Philippines today, culminating in the grand wedding. The nuances of these customs vary from region to region  yet all of them are marked by a heady mix of enigma and excitement, nervousness and negotiation, ceremony and celebration.

• Olog
The Betrothal House
Ifugao, Mountain Province

   There is a practice among the Ifugaos of northern Luzon of segregating "marriageable" girls in a communal abode called "Olog" or "Agamang". (The marriageable boys are accommodated in another communal house called the "Ato".) The boys from the "Ato" regularly visit the "Olog" and performed the first stage of courtship known as the "Ca-i-sing". They unburden their feelings in native songs rich in meanings and insinuation. The girls respond likewise in native verse. All these are done under the watchful eye of the "Olog" head  an elderly and married woman or a childless widow who keeps the parents of her wards informed of the developments of the courtship.

The practice, unique to our Northern Mountain Tribes is also known as "Ebgan" (Kalinga) or "Pangis" (Tingguian).
 

• Tapat
Courtship Through Poetry and Song
Ilocos province

   "Tapat" is practiced in small towns of Ilocos. A young man employs music and verse to declare his attraction to his lady love. The would be suitor (sometimes with a friend in tow for moral support) goes to the girl's house and serenade her from her window. The lady then answers in a song usually one that suggests that the man has a long courtship ahead of him. The man then counters with another song this time more passionate. The musical repartee goes on and on until an "understanding" is reached.

  This practice is also known "harana" in the Tagalog regions. Among the Maranaos, the practice is known as "Tubad-tubad" wherein playful verses are exchanged between the two would be lovers.
 

• Bisperas
The Eve of the Wedding
Province of Batangas

  This is an old custom peculiar to Batangas. The day before the wedding, an entourage consisting of the groom's parents, relatives, "abays", "ninangs" and "ninongs", and others concerned with the wedding walk in a procession from the groom's house to the bride's house. The purpose of this journey is to deliver all the ingredients to be used in preparation of the wedding feast. Everything from the cows and chickens, to the vegetables and rice, down to the condiments and the cutlery are carried in the procession. Upon arrival at the bride's house, refreshments are served. Then the elaborate preparations for the reception will be proceed thereafter.

• Pamalaye
The Formal Proposal
Province of Cebu

  Among the traditional Cebuanos, the asking of the girl's hand in marriage is no simple matter. The entire family of the man troops the girl's home, bringing with them musicians, Gifts food and wine. The discussions regarding the marriage are deputized to a "Mamamae" and a "Sagang" whose main qualifications are great skill in the art of debate and rebuttal. They represent the interest of both families and are empowered to make binding contracts regarding the dowry. The reaching of an agreement between the families is the high point of this custom called the "Pamalaye", and lavish festivities ensue.

Among the Ilocanos, this is known as "Tampa" or, the more formal arrangement, the "Danon". To the Tagalogs, it is "Pamanhikan". It is "Pasaguli" to the Palaweños and "Kapamalai" to the Maranaos.
 

• Pangagad
Bride Service
Province of Leyte

  In Leyte, in lieu of paying a dowry, a Filipino man wishing to wed into a traditional family is expected to perform household service to the bride's family as proof of his sincerity and fortitude. This can include anything from fetching water and chopping firewood, working in the farm as well as running household errands. This usually lasts about one year. This is more of a test period as the rendering of the "pangagad" still does not guarantee irrevocable acceptance of the marriage proposal. Thus, it is appropriately known as "Paninilbihan" (being of service) or "Subok" (trial) to the Tagalogs. In Bicol, it is called the "Pamianan".
 

• Pangalay
The Wedding
Tausug

Of all social events, perhaps none is more elaborate than a wedding. And of all Filipino weddings, perhaps none is as full of color, splendor and pageantry as a Tausog wedding. On the eve of the affair, a cacophony of native percussion instruments "agong", "kulingtang"and "gabbang" announce the impending wedding. Everyone in the village, young and old, are invited. The ceremony proper is performed by an "Imam" or Muslim priest. After readings from the "Koran", the groom puts his "fingerprint" on the forehead of the bride. This gesture formally seals the marriage. Like all weddings lavish feasting, singing, dancing and marry making ensue. And the entire tribe celebrates the joy and love and life.

For more information about the different courtship, wedding & marriage practices in other regions in the Philippines, read Philippine Wedding Practices.

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