Author Topic: Showing Respect for Filipinas  (Read 8140 times)

Offline TCummings8

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #15 on: August 17, 2008, 05:03:05 AM »
Evan,
If you go to NTWS and find a thread titled Favorite Olongapo Bars, you will find some LBFM references, some of the earlier entries have already been removed. A few of my friends that are NTWS members and also married to Filipinas questioned the site if they knew what the acronym stood for and also explained what it meant and how insulting and demeaning it was and for the most part was blown off or ignored by one of the sites administrators. I was contacted by a few friends and made aware of what had happened and started a thread titled \"LBFM???? questioning why it was an acceptable acronym when other ethnic slurs and political incorrectness was so well enforced. I received a lot of email supporting my opinion and the thread started to gain some speed when without being contacted or notified, the thread was placed in a \"lock out\" status and no further entries were allowed. I contacted a administrator via email and stated what some of my intentions were in the case the slur continued and was informed that he was unaware of the situation. I apparently did not reach the person who originally refused to do anything. To some this may sound petty and easy to overlook, to me and quite a few friends who have the blessing of some very special ladies in our lives, it is not! To me it is very simple, either you respect everyone the same way, or be held accountable for those who you insult.
Bear
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Offline michael16136

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #16 on: August 17, 2008, 11:18:37 AM »
Anyone on this board who has traveled to developing countries knows that this attitude is limited neither to the Philippines or, necessarily, to women. I lived, on and off, in various African countries for five years and cannot recall all of the disparaging labels that I heard attached to Africans, both men an women. I guess that there\'s just an overwhelming need on the part of some people from more developed countries to feel culturally or racially or socioeconomically superior. One could ask of course, why those who hold local residents in such disdain bother to come to other, less developed countries, and the only answer that I\'ve been able to formulate is that these guys (and they\'re almost always men), haven\'t \"made it\" in their own countries and feel compelled to come to places where they\'re perceived as successful. It\'s pathetic really. Most of those displaying these attitudes (at least in my experience) are not those who actually live here, but those who come as short-term tourists or who make short business trips.

Offline Flt Simulation

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #17 on: August 17, 2008, 03:13:09 PM »
To tell you the truth, I don\'t know which country in Asia the acronym \'LBFM\' actually originated, but I have heard it used in Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines and in even in Taiwan as early as the Vietnam War when I was in the military.

Although this obviously is degrading, humiliating and just plain unacceptable, I believe it was actually used to describe bar girls in these countries, and not the general female population as a whole.

Anyway, I agree with others here ... it is as bad as calling a girl a whore, or any of the other unacceptable choice of words that are at times used in discribing the girls working in the so-called \"entertainment\" trade ... but, perhaps worse

What bothers me alot more that a nasty acronym, are the clueless people that have never been outside there own home country, but have the idea that all the ladies from the Philippines are of poor moral charactor and/or any foreigner that marries these girls is just some kind of whore monger looking for young poor girls to pray on.

These clueless people that have it in there mind that the female population of the Philippines consists of just a bunch of bar girls is absolutly crazy ... and you can\'t tell these people otherwise either! .... talk about stereotyping a whole country! ... Unbelievable to say the least!

Ok ... I said my piece!  :)

Ron,
Out of Stock Sir !

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #18 on: August 18, 2008, 12:44:54 AM »
Ron,

I\'ve had some run ins with a-holes such as the ones you mentioned.  At a Christmas party last year, some jerk was speaking of a friend of mine in the most disparaging way.  He was going on and on about how Jimmy had found a girl on one of \"those mail order bride\" lists called Cherry Blossoms.  He was running off at the mouth real loud, telling everyone around about how Jimmy had found this girl from Thailand and brought her over here to be his wife.  \"What was he thinking?  He found this girl from Thailand and had her sent over here.  I mean, how sleazy can you get?\" 

I stood there silent for as long as I could and waited for the moment I had a chance to speak up.  I asked him what he meant about having her \"sent over here\".  I asked if he actually thought you just went into a catalog and picked out a girl from a picture like you would from a Sears catalog.  He indicated that that\'s what he understood and why in the world would anyone want a woman like that for a wife anyway? 

I proceeded to explain how it really works, that you have to visit the girl\'s country to prove you\'d actually met her, to provide photos of the family, receipts from your visit, etc, etc.  And then you had to fill out several government forms to prove that you could support her and that she would not become a burden on the social welfare system of the government.  I also explained the interviews and investigations that were performed on both sides of the fence before and after she arrived.  And then I asked what was so wrong in finding a woman you could connect with who was from another country? 

Well, he just about spit in my face talking about how \"those women\" have no right to be here in his country and if it was within his power he would see to it that they were all sent back to where they came from, never to return.  It was then that I told him and everyone how I had found my wife Gloria, the love of my life, on a web-based introduction service called One and Only.  I advised everyone that they should never speak ill of those whom they have not met and they have no right to be so narrow minded.  They all fell silent for the rest of the evening, at least in my presence.

Jimmy\'s wife and mine are two very lovely, highly educated, motivated women and are two fine examples of Asian women.  It really peeves me when ignorant people speak so lowly about things and people they know so little about as though they were the \"experts\" on the subject.  I\'m no expert, but I do know what I found when I found my love Gloria and no man will be allowed to speak poorly of the women we love as long as I have the power to say anything about it.
Louisville, KY USA - Bagong Silang, Caloocan City, PH

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #19 on: August 18, 2008, 06:16:52 AM »
The wife of our last premier in NSW was born in Malaysia. In a bout of levity with journalists a few years ago, the then leader of the opposition party described her as \'a mail order bride\'. It cost him his position as he was forced to resign, suggesting there are still some standards of decency required in public life here, but the fact that he even said it demonstrates how entrenched this kind of sexist racism still is in parts at least of Australian society.

Offline geno555

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #20 on: August 18, 2008, 08:27:41 AM »
This thread is one which I have had long and disturbing thoughts about. I know from my past record I tend to go off in tangents regarding things I believe strongly in, thus so far I have purposely not commented on the subject.

So I thought I would try a new approach to my writings. In keeping with the rules of this forum I certainly won’t use any disparaging words about any race, religion, creed, or class of any specialty.

What makes my comments so hard to understand is: as follows I happen to agree with most all of you regarding the disparaging acronym that is in question. I find it personally disgusting and horrific to the point it has an adverse reaction in my psyche to make me ill if I ponder over its use for a prolonged time.

What is so wonderful about this “group” , is that is seems to be comprised of so many clear thinking , non judgmental and unbiased people of wisdom that you in lock step have come to the plate and had your say on this subject. That is the way of both a democracy and the way of freedom of speech as long as you don’t trample on someone else’s first amendment rights.
Keeping in mind that this is a forum for “living in the Philippines”, I both respect and admire those of you have done that and “been there” for a lot longer than I Have.

Why is it that I seem to agree with “Jack” or “Keith” in these posts? Do you really think I always agree with the moderators of this forum? If so just check my history you will find at times I disagree with both, but when I disagree I do it with respect, for all of us, in good times and bad times are only what we are at the moment that we pen words to paper.

I personally can see no “social, economical, cultural, financial, moral, religious, PC correct, need to say such things that could or possibly make another human being feel bad or inferior about who they are.

For me, I am not much as a man. I have been a failure through 3 marriages, have in a time of war did things, which I will never know if a “higher power”…out of respect for Colin, will never know if I can be forgiven for.

But I do know this; as long as I am able to draw breath I will never allow even in my old age and failing health allow anyone to speak disparagingly of my Filipino asawa or her family.

I am the fault behind my extended family maybe taken advantage of me, not because they asked, but because I have never been one to worry over money , for I grew up poor, changed my life through the military , came out better than I could have ever dreamed of, and bless ‘God” everyday that when one of my many family members call my wife on a weekly basis asking for more…My wife is upset, wants to say no, but I say to her!...darling this is the position in life that “God” wanted us to be, it may hurt us , but it will not break us , so we have to help.

I know one thing, when I was living in the Philippines for almost 13 months with my wife in charge our monthly bills were a lot less. Thus the reason for me and my wife while we still have a little savings are going back. I will give complete control of our monies to my wife when I return. I will like I have always done, treat and greet my barcada on a daily basis with both a smile and respect.
In return I will have what I had when I lived there, I will have a loving family, yes large and complex, but nonetheless , caring and compassionate about my not only health but also my safety.

My asawa and I live in a place if you believe the “warnings” about Mindanao that is unsafe, I say I have been there, done that and it is a lot safer than the city of Baltimore, MD, that is 60 miles to my north west here in the USA.

I was once like “Peter Pan”, I refused to grow up! Since meeting the most wonderful, trustworthy, compassionate, loving, understanding, moral, and yes “Gwapa” person in the world. I have finally found the true meaning of “love”…if that love appears to be inappropriate  to some because I am 61 and she is only 34…so be it!

The real truth still lies in how I, my wife, make a difference in the Philippines, which is what this forum is for.
We make a difference because we both believe in some major social issues. I and she have many nieces and nephews.

They remain poor. My wife has already started a trust fund in the RP to ensure that the ones that really want a better life will have the support of us two, to further their education and become a productive member of our local society in our own neighborhood.
Which means we will help those most deserving to obtain an education? Not to just prepare themselves to leave their country and take a job overseas, not so their dreams of wealth is to marry a foreigner!

In closing, I used to do “anger management” for men in a group situation, sent to me from the VA (veterans administration). They were given a choice, either come to me two times a week, or stay in jail for the term of their sentence.

In retrospect I am the one who learned from them. Even though I had the power over them that if I called their PO (parole officer) because they missed a session with me I gave everyone of them a fair break…human beings need sometimes a “second chance”…NO…not all human beings! I would not give Charlie Manson a second chance on a can of “SPAM”… but these were just people who went down the wrong road.

So maybe, just maybe when we all of us as a group tend to disagree with others on this forum, maybe like Keith, and Jack taught “Me”,  I should write the post and leave it alone for 24-48 hours , see what I wrote, was it a personal attack on someone?, was it off colored?, was it defamatory?

I will be coming HOME soon to the RP to spend my dying years there. I am happy about that.

I cannot offer any of you a comfortable place to stay when I get back and we have our party, for where I live there is no appropriate lodging available. But for the “tougher” of you my nanay has a big house, I have many houses in the neighborhood where at least you can get a good night’s sleep if even on a mat on the floor, and I can promise you both hospitality and security.

This will probably be my last post for awhile, for I have some concerns about my computers and if they could be possibly confiscated by Homeland Security so I think I will send then ahead by Forex next week just in case. If any of you know a better way? Please inform me? I just hear about some kind of TSA security bags for laptops that you do not have to open…but does that mean that they will not randomly take our laptops ( I have three) at the airport in Baltimore, our point of departure for the Philippines.
Thank you all for listening, You have taught me all many things…You have all made me a better person…and in that you should be proud?

“MURF”

Offline GregW

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #21 on: August 18, 2008, 10:17:05 AM »
Murf if you\'re still on line then you may, indeed, have something to worry about concerning Homeland Security.  This is getting off topic for this thread so I have posted info about that situation under \"Computers\".  You may wish to see my post there at;

http://livinginthephilippines.com/forum/index.php?topic=1738.new#new

Ako si Goyo.   Amerikano akong lawas pero Bisaya akong kasing-kasing

Offline graham

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #22 on: August 18, 2008, 06:34:39 PM »
Murf et al,

     I have never been so disgusted in all my life to read about this thread. I\'m so upset I can hardly see the keys! I\'m not as eloquent as some of you are, but my sentiments remain the same as yours. How any right thinking sane person could presume to think of the ladies here, or anywhere in Asia and label them all the same defeats me. I\'m so upset that my Janet could be cast in the mold that these sick ba****ds are suggesting just... I\'m sorry I\'m so emotional.... takes my breath away.... God help anyone that says that in my hearing. I\'m not a big guy, but by God, I\'ll account for myself!!

Graham


Offline Steve & Myrlita

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #23 on: August 18, 2008, 07:29:25 PM »
Murf et al,

     I have never been so disgusted in all my life to read about this thread. I\'m so upset I can hardly see the keys! I\'m not as eloquent as some of you are, but my sentiments remain the same as yours. How any right thinking sane person could presume to think of the ladies here, or anywhere in Asia and label them all the same defeats me. I\'m so upset that my Janet could be cast in the mold that these sick ba****ds are suggesting just... I\'m sorry I\'m so emotional.... takes my breath away.... God help anyone that says that in my hearing. I\'m not a big guy, but by God, I\'ll account for myself!!

Graham


Many of us here feel the same way.I\'m not a violent person by nature but if some low life said that about my Myrlita, I don\'t know what I would do.
Thank you...God Bless...
Bro Steve & Sis Myrlita
Bacolod City, PH
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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #24 on: August 18, 2008, 09:21:16 PM »
It\'s a term I\'ve heard before, and often, when referring to Filipinas and other SE Asian women. It\'s repugnant, and ought never be tolerated in speech or in writing and represents just another attempt to demean and objectify and entire people. I guess the hate mongers everywhere just need an outlet for their bile.


Could it also explain some of the newspaper headlines \"**** national murdered\"? If they use that kind of language around Pinoy drinking buddies.....
::)


All,

I just want to use this opportunity, while everyone has their protective instincts on full power, to ask that you for a second think how a Filipino feels when he hears this sort of thing said about a sister, cousin, friend. Then read this, that was posted earlier today by aerosick (Billy, I moved it from Breaking News so the link would remain) and be reminded that, for the grace of (a higher being - for Colin) go I & perhaps put a new perspective on these reports we read:


http://livinginthephilippines.com/forum/index.php?topic=1737.0

I remember not so long ago, sitting with friends in a bar in Greenbelt Makati watching some loadmouth trying to get the waitresses attention by flipping bar mats at her. She being Filipina AND far more civilized, smiled & served him. Me, I just wanted to...... >:(

Offline imtheredrum

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #25 on: August 18, 2008, 11:44:03 PM »
Murf et al,

     I have never been so disgusted in all my life to read about this thread. I\'m so upset I can hardly see the keys! I\'m not as eloquent as some of you are, but my sentiments remain the same as yours. How any right thinking sane person could presume to think of the ladies here, or anywhere in Asia and label them all the same defeats me. I\'m so upset that my Janet could be cast in the mold that these sick ba****ds are suggesting just... I\'m sorry I\'m so emotional.... takes my breath away.... God help anyone that says that in my hearing. I\'m not a big guy, but by God, I\'ll account for myself!!

Graham

Many of us here feel the same way.I\'m not a violent person by nature but if some low life said that about my Myrlita, I don\'t know what I would do.


Thats just it... these people are sick and not normal and sane!  All seem to have corrupted morals and prejudices that run deep... I just wish they would stay the hell out of Philippines or anywhere they are not from... Better to let them crap in their own back yards and not over here.  Every single day brings them closer to getting what they deserve from any one of us in this group!
..                                \ \ \ | / / /
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Offline TCummings8

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #26 on: August 19, 2008, 06:28:30 AM »
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was able to contact a senior administrator and the person actually in charge of the site and provide the documentation that proved some pretty crappy stuff was going on in a couple of their threads. I was assured that the ROE\'s for that site would be enforced, the violators would be contacted and their privileges revoked if they continued to use bigoted acronyms. The first administrator who failed to do anything will be contacted and dealt with, and the site publicy recognizes that indeed a whole segment of society was abused and slandered. I have the name of the first administrator, and ironically he lives in the same town I do and works at the local community college. If the problem arises again from him, he will figure out very quickly why at 6\'3, 240 pounds of pretty solid muscle, I got the nickname Bear. I appreciate the input from all who were willing to share and encourage all to continue to be vocal and proactive regarding the imbeciles who think they have the right to look down their noses at anyone else because of appearance, ethnicity, culture, religion, language etc...
Thanks,
Bear
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Offline geno555

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #27 on: August 19, 2008, 08:04:16 AM »
Bear:

I appreciate so much your efforts in bringing this thread to at least some resolution in the sense of making the webmasters of these sites realize there are and will always be a bunch of other \"pretty irate\" human beings who will have no part in \"shaming and disparaging\" remarks regarding the women of the RP.

Brother I ain\'t 19 anymore, and have realized though it took me many years, that I will never again be \"the best i could be\" at 19, but like Graham and some others on here, I will  be right beside you when you ever need me. I ain\'t much anymore, but I am all I have...and if you throw the first punch you can believe mine will not be far behind, although it might be a quick kick to the Knee cap of these idiots. Damn hard to fight when you take out someones knee!

Enough male testosterone, I will be good now...this whole thread gets my damn Irish up. >:(

Murf

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #28 on: August 19, 2008, 08:09:57 AM »
Another example of this attitude........or a set up by a teen not getting her own way  ??? A cautionary tale none the less:

American jailed for ‘molesting’ helper in Quezon City

 MANILA, Philippines - An American is now behind bars for allegedly molesting his 13-year-old household helper in his house in Quezon City.

DZBB\'s Louie Garcia reported early Tuesday that the suspect, initially identified as Bobby Smith, was arrested after the victim sought police assistance.

The Quezon City police\'s Criminal Investigation and Detection Unit arrested Smith at his house at Casa Nueva townhouse in Mariano village.

Initial investigation showed Smith started molesting the victim two weeks ago, when she began working for him. The victim said Smith would kiss and touch her.

But she decided to seek police assistance after Smith locked her in the bathroom for an hour.

Smith faces charges for violating the women and children\'s protection act.- GMANews.TV

Offline TCummings8

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Re: Showing Respect for Filipinas
« Reply #29 on: August 19, 2008, 08:44:02 AM »
Murf,
That is a two way street brother, you need me, let me know!! None of us may be 18 any more so all that means is we have to use our intelligence, experience, shear numbers, and good looks to complete what we were once able to do on our own. I have always felt that I was part of a very special and elite group of people, those who were blessed enough to have found a very special person to share our lives with. I refuse to have some peabrain walking hemorrhoid dictate to me how to live my life and who to fall in love with. I have a very deep respect for the Philippines, its people, culture, family values, etc... if others are too narrow minded to appreciate all it offers, too damn bad!!! Let them stay in their twisted, bigoted, narrow minded little world and wallow in their own ignorance.
Take care,
Bear
Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.