Author Topic: An invitation from Murf  (Read 3565 times)

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An invitation from Murf
« on: October 28, 2008, 09:48:26 AM »
I have been asked to pass this message on:-


Spoke with Murf yesterday & he is in good spirits now he is \'HOME\' in Bayugan City, Mindanao. He has asked me to pass on an open invitation to all who can make it to his party on November 8. Free flowing drink & baboy. Send him a message if you want more info.

Colin please pass this on to the other guys.

Uzi.

Offline geno555

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2008, 08:11:11 PM »
Thank you both Colin and Keith for posting my request. As it got no replies, i suppose I should feel less than \"loved\" here, but I sort of always knew I would never win the \"prom queen\" award.

All I know is it was a rough trip over but well worth it. I have learned many things and am learning more every second it seems as I am here to stay now and with that comes an awesome amount of responsibility that I am not sure I am up to. I love it here in Bayugan more than any of you will ever know, it is remote, it is certainly in no way an either American\'s, Brits, Aussies, or any other foreigner’s idea of paradise.

I understand I guess why no one replied to Colin’s post, maybe it is not just the dislike of me personally and my certainly outspoken ways...but possibly the environment which i chose to live in is by most accounts primitive if not worse.

I both respect and understand the hesitation to visit such a place for if anything there are those who visit and some who even live in Manila who think that the people on the island of Mindanao on a regular basis as they asked my wife once while working in a \"noodle factory\" in metro Manila.... Is it true that kill people on a daily basis in Mindanao...\"sure my wife said, it\'s just like ringing the neck of a chicken...and for you because you are a little bit chubby that would put you in a big pot and boil you alive\"

Jack, my wife and i did as you asked us, we called your relatives, we treated them with respect and hospitality in our hotel and passed on the items that you and my sister glo asked us to pass on. I hope all is well with you and yours.

I am sad to say I have no email as yet, so if you try to reply by personal post, the email that I have on record here will not work that is an email account in the usa, it took me 4 days to get my isp to come out here and when they did they did not know how to configure their own hardware for I was running windows ultimate Vista which they were not familiar with , so after two hours of frustration and 4 different tech guys, i just took over figure out my own ip by pinging yahoo and at least i can browse the web but certainly not at the speed i had in the usa, but that is fine with me. I should have a working email in 2-10 days in Filipino time ;D

I will if allowed post pictures of the party so at least those can see the different parts of the RP in which some of us choice to live.

My dream has come full circle now...I am \"home\" where i choose to be some 30 odd years ago. I am content and happy here with my large extended family, with the blackouts, with the ants, with the roaches, with the rats, but most of all with the 20 to 30 young bright smiling faces that pour into this home(for it is a home) every morning at about 8 for it is semester break here now in this province...thus every child comes here to eat , for they know at the \"maneja\" house there is not only lots of biyan(spell check), but also lots of love.

I need many questions answered from those of you who are currently residing in the RP. I am in hopes that you can put your feelings aside for awhile and allow me to use this form in the ultimate way in which i think Don had intended it to be. That is a place where people, all people, people of different ideas, different values, different cultures, different backgrounds, different dialects, different religious or no religious beliefs could come and ask questions in an attempt to help them be a more productive member of the this great land. I have many pressing banking issue that I need advice and help with, i have questions about my 13A and my ACRI that i need help with.

I have always told this group the \"truth\", my \"yes\" has always meant thus, my \"no\" will always remain the same. I am no different than any of you here, I am no better but certainly no worse than any of you here, so I ask you out of a need of human kindness to find it in your heart to extend to me the same privilege you would a stranger on the street...for charity is not judged by the amount of your check, but the untold ways and secret giving’s that you extend without an expatiation of reward toward the least in your life.

To Colin, Greg, Jack and all those who have helped me before...I am here now, in a lot better place than i was before...Keith I can\'t get to your site for some reason so bare with me until i can.

Because of the security of the site and me not having a valid email address this may not even go through, or it may just be stopped anyway, for me i can\'t imagine why, but nothing surprises me anymore.

In closing I left the USA on the 14th of October 2008 at 1 am in the morning. On Thursday October 16th 2008 I got a call from my father saying my mother had died. Yes she died, she didn\'t just pass away, for i have no clue where people \"pass away too\"...all I know is she is dead. All I know is that she is dearly missed and loved by my wife and her son.

God Bless All

No exceptions or apologies this time....that one was for my mother I said it, and I meant it...God Bless All.

Murf

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2008, 09:45:14 PM »
Murf!  You finally made it!   :D :D :D :D
I\'ve just been waiting for a personal post from you so that I could properly reply.  I have no idea how to reply to a post made by someone, for someone through someone else.   ;D
Now that I know you\'re hooked up and able to go on line, albeit slowly, you\'ll be sure to get more responses.

I want to personally thank you for carrying the small package to Manila for us.  My nanay was thrilled to receive the medicine we sent her (as well as the chocolate)   ;)

I also want to publicly thank you, Thank You Bro!, for showing my brother in law Ronel and nephew Ryan such hospitality and kindness during their brief visit with you and Jennifer at your hotel.  They gave us a glowing account of how sweet Jennifer was and how friendly and courteous you were to them both.  Thank You brother!   :) :)

Ryan is a pistol, ain\'t he?  I\'m sure you can see why he is Tito Jack\'s favorite and why I have such desire to help my brother in law Ronel with the education of his son.  Ronel is my Manila anchor.  Without him, I\'m certain that things wouldn\'t run as smoothly.  He\'s a true partner in all of our family projects. 

And you, my friend, are a true brother for allowing us to use you and Jennifer to carry our small, but important, package to Manila and for allowing our family to come to see you at your hotel.  I will be forever grateful.   :) :)

I couldn\'t call you, as planned, since you lost your cell phone recharger.  If you will send me your new cell phone number by personal message, Gloria is anxious to talk to her friend Jen, and I\'m anxious to speak with you again, brother.  We have many things to discuss, including your new board here on LinPC, if you\'re still up to the task.

For all of the rest of you, I have asked Murf to begin posting his day to day experiences in Bayugan to give us all new insight into the life of a \"country gentlemen\" relocated in the Philippines.  ;D

I also heard that you had a health scare after arriving in Manila.  I trust that you have recovered sufficiently to fully enjoy your new home.  Please give us all an update, my friend.

Congratulations on your move!!   :D :D :D  I\'m sooo jealous.   ;)  And believe me, I fully intend to invade Bayugan on our next visit.   :D  You invited us, and we accept.  I\'ll give you sufficient warning to fatten a baboy (or two) and warn all the pretty girls that the big bad Gray Wolf is coming to Mindanao.  :o  ::)  8) 8)

God Bless you, brother!  I look forward to speaking with you again soon!

Semper Fi !!  Hooooooo  Raaaaahhh!!!

Your brother always,
Jack
Louisville, KY USA

Offline RUFUS

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2008, 02:00:50 AM »
Murf,
Good to hear you are there in one piece(more or less ;D). I would like nothing more than to break bread with you in your new surroundings, but being in Oregon makes it a little hard at this time. But if the gods permit I will make a trip to the islands in the next year or so and I promise I will put you on the itinerary, as Mindanao is only short boat ride away from S.Leyte where I will be staying. Drink a RedHorse or 2 for me at your new place and Mabuhay!
SO SAYETH THE RUFUS

Offline dylanaz

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2008, 04:56:55 AM »
Sorry to hear about your loss.

Welcome to the boards. I miss Mindanao !
I have seen so much conflict while in the Philippines - amazingly 99% of it was merely online computer experiences :D

Offline geno555

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2008, 09:09:49 AM »
Jack,Keith, Colin, Rufus and all others I might have missed. ;D

Thank you all for your warm welcome. I really feel (and possibly only Jack will understand this for it is a \"Marine\" thing...I finally have been said to: \"Welcome \"HOME\"

For indeed as sick as I was as soon as that plane hit the ground at Manila my spirits lifted even if my lungs did not. This is the first time I have flown with my lung capacity at 10%. My doctor warned me of the effect it may play in a pressurized cabin and by God he was right and I was hardheaded and didn\'t listen???

Now to bring meaning to this forum I would like to give my two cents worth on some of the things that have been asked here before, discussed here before but now I have first hand information on and hope it may be of help to all of those left in other countries who are planning to move to the RP.

Ah...before I go on, Jack I can\'t send you my phone number for I have no email yet (this is the RP and they run on their own clock) but Jennifer said she sent Glo her number via an internet cafe when we were in the hotel, so have Glo check but as soon as I have email I will of course give it to you both.

Ok to start with. I changed my mode of travel this time from Northwest Airlines to Cathay Pacific. Upside is there is a personal TV with countless movies for your entertainment, they feed you I swear every 20 minutes or so. Downside...we were routed through Hong Kong, and our connecting flight was in Terminal 3, while we were physically in Terminal one. They have this high speed trains to get you there, but after 20 minutes of trying to find anyone who could speak English (that was a shock to me in a progressive country as Hong Kong) I finally found a supervisor who helped us. He stated that with all our luggage that would have to go through security again, even though all our bags went through security at Baltimore we would never make our connecting flight unless he helped us. Terminal 3 was a private taxi trip away taking about 20 minutes, when we finally arrived they were holding our seats for us.

Because I have by law the right to carry handicapped plates on my car, and even though I can walk, but very slowly and with a lot of breaks I started to notice that my wife had to push a cart with 8 bags through corridor after corridor of airline terminals. I came up with a plan. I have never used my disability before to benefit myself, but watching my wife struggle, I decided to ask for help. I told the airlines I was disabled which is true and they assigned me a \"pusher\" to push me and a \"pusher\" to help my wife with the bags.

Now the strangest thing happened. Instead of going through security and being body scanned and bags scanned they just took both my wife and I to the front of the line, they asked for my wife’s passport, my passport and if I had a Military ID, which I have. From that point on there was no more problems going past security, everyone was extremely pleasant and it took a big burden from my wife having to take care of her husband. God I love that woman!

The truth about the BalikBayan Stamp. The airline had notified Manila that they had a handicap passenger. We were meant at the airport with two pushers. Even if you have \"Nothing\" to declare make sure you fill out the customs forms they give you on the plane. We did not for I thought it was only meant if you were bringing more than 10,000 dollars into the country. Well I was wrong and when my wife was asked for our passports, our customs forms and she did not have them the boy ran off got the forms and helped her to fill them out. When we arrived at customs, I gave the woman the biggest smile I could foster greeted her both in Tagalog and English (not trying to impress he that i was fluent in her native tongue. One of the boys gave the customs official our paperwork. She ask me ,\"I see you are a lucky man, and have a very beautiful wife\", I replied, \"yes mam, I am the luckiest man in the world and glad to be home in the Philippines. She smiled at me and said, you know because of your wife I am going to give you BalikBayan status.

Thus at least for me it was a no brainer, I had my official marriage certificate ready and all kinds of other documents ready, but I think the truth is if you are married to a Filipino citizen and returning to the RP you will get your BB stamp unless you are a complete and arrogant jerk.

If you have been to the RP before while single and now return as married, just check your passport. Look at the first time you came you will see an entry date and a departure date which is 21 days after you arrive, but if you look at your passport upon returning with your wife you will just see an entry date two letters that read \"BB\" and no departure date. Thus a year from now if I don\'t have my 13A by that time I will take the wife somewhere out of country on vacation and return to \"BB\" again.

In country mistakes we made. From Manila we flew back to Butuan on Cebu Pacific. Two tickets cost me 5.200P. My overweight baggage cost me 3,700P.That hard lesson learned will have me packing with just a change of socks the next time. PAL airlines is a little better as far as weight restrictions, 30kilo, Cebu is only 15kilo.

Money changing issues. We arrived in the RP with nothing but US Dollars. As soon as you clear customs, and you will need to so fill out the forms! You will see a money changer. Before I arrived at the airport while on the plane I got Jennifer to befriend a Filipino with a cell phone with internet connection, she asked him and he gave her the latest forex currency exchange on Forex which was at 48.2. When we arrived at the Money Changer I looked at the exchange rate on the board and it was 48.6. The woman smiled when I gave her our money, she said \"you must have done this before\" I smiled and said...\"yes mam\"...it makes it so much easier if you go to your local bank and ask them to order you from the Federal Reserve brand new 100 dollar bills or new 50 dollar bills.

Leaving the airport. If you chose a hotel in the Manila area try to find one that will meet you at the airport and take you to the hotel without the cost of hiring a private taxi at the airport which can be very expensive unless you let your wife do the negotiating. We stayed at the Swagman right across from the US Embassy and even though I have them an arrival time of 6:40 pm, it was 7:45 pm before we cleared the airport but the driver was right there. Now I am not saying that service is free ( i don\'t think there is such a thing as a free lunch anymore  :-\\ ) I am sure it is included in the price of the room but none the less is saved us a lot of hassle.

We finally arrived home at 4pm at my Nanays house.The whole street was lined with people waving, cheering, throngs of smiling beautiful woman, men and those lovely little boys and girls mostly my nieces and nephews. Hanging across the front porch of my mother’s house was a very large 8 foot by 4 foot colorful banner which read \"WELCOME HOME TO MR AND MRS EUGENE AND JENNIFER MURPHY FROM THE MANEJA FAMILY AND FRIENDS\"...

After many hugs and tearful blessings from numerous relatives I asked one of my brothers where was my barcada, my pare...he said they knew I needed rest from the long flight over but I told him to go invite them over. They came out came the beer a few long necks no red horse, sorry Rufus, not available here...and we caught up on the past present and future until about 2am.

Next morning I was up at 4am...waiting for the wet market to open at 6. Went and got 3 kilos of yellow fin tuna at 270 a kilo, soaked it in my special mixture that includes a lot of lime juice and a lot of fork sticking , grilled it on my electric grill and we all set down to a delicious breakfast.

All in all...there has been before me about is the RP truly a paradise. For me that question goes more to the individual and how they adapt than the relative term of the question. For many, living in a place with no septic system, where ants are just a way of life, and roaches and rats are the norm, it certainly does not sound like anything like a paradise.

My wife and I will not live here for long, but for now I have learned to adapt. The ants are downstairs; the roaches are only seen at night when you turn the kitchen lights on, the rats only on occasion. I sit here typing in an air conditioned room, my wife is downstairs playing  tong -its (a card game)...she is a text message away to bring me another cool one. I don\'t require much I guess...for this is for me certainly Paradise.

Sorry for the long post...I promise to keep them short and only to the subject from here on.

I wish for all of you the peace and happiness I feel in my heart. My body is certainly failing me, but my heart feels 19.
Murf

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2008, 09:31:37 AM »
Hi Murf,

excellent post as usual  ;D

One small point, you don\'t need to leave after 1 year, you can extend for another year at your local immigration office. Even so, I recommend that you start your 13a soon just in case there are complications and delays.

Have a good party and good luck in your future here.

Colin

Offline geno555

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2008, 10:21:46 AM »
Thank you Colin, both to your wealth of compassion and your advice about my 13a and no need to leave the country.

The one thing I have always admired in you is your never changing beliefs and principles. I am sure just like me that your opinions as have mine caused others at times to be offended, but I have always said that if one would only shut up long enough and listen to those who have lived on this earth longer than they...they just might learn something. I believe you can be \"educated\" and still a fool...but it is hard to \"undo\" the wisdom that comes just with years of just living.

I will be thinking of you and yours at the party, and I thank you and my wife thanks you for wishing us well.

Never change Brother...you are a good man!

Muf

Offline Steve & Myrlita

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2008, 12:34:01 PM »
Hi Gene,
   Welcome to the RP. 1st let me say we are very sorry for the loss of your Mom. I lost mine in June 2003 so I know what it feels like except you had it worse. Yours died while you were away while mine died in my arms. May she have eternal rest with The Lord.

   2nd is I heard you got Pneumonia when you got here. I\'m sorry you got that. I was also sick the 1st week I was here. I guess our bodies need time to adapt to a different environment. Due to lack of funds, I won\'t be able to come there and visit, sorry. The advice to get your 13a now is good advice. Take advantage of that BB stamp you received.

   3rd is you indicated that you felt you didn\'t have any friends here. WRONG! You have many friends here Gene. Me being one of them. God Bless......

Thank you...God Bless...
Bro Steve & Sis Myrlita
Bacolod City, PH

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2008, 04:16:08 PM »
Thank you Colin, both to your wealth of compassion and your advice about my 13a and no need to leave the country.

The one thing I have always admired in you is your never changing beliefs and principles. I am sure just like me that your opinions as have mine caused others at times to be offended, but I have always said that if one would only shut up long enough and listen to those who have lived on this earth longer than they...they just might learn something. I believe you can be \"educated\" and still a fool...but it is hard to \"undo\" the wisdom that comes just with years of just living.

I will be thinking of you and yours at the party, and I thank you and my wife thanks you for wishing us well.

Never change Brother...you are a good man!

Muf

Murf, you can\'t teach an old dog new tricks, and I am certainly an old dog  ;D
I have learned a lot on this forum, particularly about me so I try to be a bit more laid back. There is no fear of me giving up on my principles but maybe I won\'t push them as hard  ;)
I don\'t post so much now as I am tied up with other things. I have a another online photoshop course starting tomorow, and the sale of my house in the UK is going through now, so I will soon be very busy building here.

Colin

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2008, 06:37:10 AM »
Murf,

Brother, I\'m so glad you finally made it \"home\".  I wish so much that I could have been there with you to see those smiling faces and to help you settle in with your barkada (and assist in drinking the cold beer!)   ;D ;D

I look forward to hearing more from you here on the Forum and to once again hear your voice over the phone.  A bit of misunderstanding on my part: Glo has the phone numbers of both you and Jen.  I was the one who misunderstood Glo when that info came through on her email.  I went to her email account and retrieved the numbers.  You can expect a call from me soon.  I want to hear more from you about your encounter with my brother in law and nephew.

It may be a couple of days before I can call you, however, as I received today some sad news.  My Dad\'s only remaining sister, my aunt Mary, died last night after a long battle with cancer.  We don\'t even have the info on where or when her funeral will be.  But as soon as that\'s complete, which should be in the next couple of days, I promise you I\'ll call and the four of us can talk again.

Take care of yourself, bro, and give Jen love from her Kuya Jack and Ate Glo.

We\'ll speak soon, I promise.

Semper Fi, brother!  Welcome Home!!!

Jack 
Louisville, KY USA

Offline geno555

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2008, 10:47:49 AM »
Brother Jack & Sister Glo

So sad to hear of your loss. With the most recent but certainly not unexpected death of my own mother I guess I can say I understand some of what you feel, although I don\'t truly believe anyone can fully comprehend the feelings of loss that another suffers.

For me the death of my Mother was a God Send. She was finally able to receive the eternal rest that she was denied for 2 1/2 years of lying in a hospital bed, being unable to move, unable to swallow, unable to communicate, being keep alive artificially through a tube inserted in her stomach for she was so brain damage from the massive strokes that she was not even capable of having nasal-gastric tube feedings for she could not swallow. Thus every time she had an accumulation of salvia in her mouth, I had to train her caregivers to suction her out immediately to prevent her lungs from filling up with fluids which eventually despite the heroic efforts of all involved she finally developed mechanical pneumonia.

Jack as far as your brother-in-law and nephew it was both a pleasure and wonderful experience to meet them. I was taken aback by the boy’s politeness and the amount of love he showed towards his Father. You and Glo must certainly be proud of them both. I must admit however that even though through my writings on this venue...I know I come across as \"stringent\" and harsh at times... but as both you and Glo will someday learn the \"Murphy\'s\" are a very hospitable and loving couple, more than willing to share of what little we have. I am no different than many on this site, my exterior may at times be tortoise like, but believe me I am one big \"p**** cat\" inside. It only takes the smile of a dirty face little girl or boy in the squatters area of the docks of Manila to bring both a smile and tears to this old Marines heart.

I have come \"full circle\" Jack...finally \"HOME\" finally starting to begin my announced retirement after many years of hard work. My eternal clock has adjusted already to the 3 o\'clock awakening by my many crowing cocks. (For those who think, chickens start crowing at sunrise...well not here where I live  ??? My wife brings me coffee at 4am, I watch the news, check the internet and go downstairs to sit with my Nanay and wife and my nieces and nephews where stories of last happenings in the neighborhood are discussed.

Filipinos are not without their \"gossip mills”;D... the family tells me of a house and lot for sale...they say it has 5 bedrooms, gated western amenities and was on the market last year for 3.2 million pesos. Now the price is down to 1.6???

I ask my wife to ask if we can go see it. Everyone stops talking and finally my wife tells me...oh no hon. we don\'t want that place for it has some very bad karma, for it seems that the husband of the wife who lived there ran off to Manila to find a bar girl and was gone for 6 months where upon his return his wife poisoned  him. Then two of the 4 sons got killed in freak motorcycle accidents within 7 days of each other. Now the other two sons have come down with \"something akin to leapers\"...seems what I thought could be a \"bargain\" is to be keep out of my reach due to bad Karma?

I\'ve come to just accept and go along with their beliefs, I have no need nor wish to change in any way my Filipino family, they are the ones who love and protect me, and they are only doing what they have done for years, protecting the ones they love. The Murf will neither judge nor ridicule them, for this is their country, I am a guest, yes a beloved and protected guest and I wish to keep it that way.

I have also noticed since my arrival this time that all know I am going to both live and die here, there has been quite a significant change in the Hierarchy of those with decision making powers in the household. Before it was always my Nanay who was consider the \"Queen\", or \"Superior Mother\", for she was the one who took every one in and turned away no one. But the one really in charge was and always has been my wife. When she speaks it just gets quiet in the house and all eyes and ears are on her.

Except two days ago. I tell this story only because I think it may give some insight into how different family situation arise and how each family may deal with them. I do not share it to bring shame or dishonor upon my niece but only in an attempt to help others enlighten our young ones about the consequences of becoming to \"western\" like in their \"thinking\", leaving their past conservative roots based deeply in the Roman Catholic Church and the morals, principles and values that were taught to them by both my Nanay and my wife.

It came to our attention through rumblings of rumors in the neighborhood that it was being said that one of our 19 year old nieces was pregnant. Well when my wife heard of this she immediately called her (she was staying with one of my brother-in-laws at the time and not in this house) and told her to come home for she wanted to talk to her.

I could see the \"pursed\" lips and growing \"frown lines\" on my wife’s face and knew that look and boy it was not a good one. When our niece returned home my wife greeted her, and the niece immediately said to my wife (I was told later) \"oh I see you are all here to judge me now without knowing the truth\"... Well my wife \"lost it\" said some very bad things to her...I am not fluent in her native tongue but do know almost all the cuss words...

My wife went after the niece and it took me and one of my brothers in laws to stop her physically. After awhile things calmed down and our niece was in her room packing her clothes to \"run away\" again (she usually does this when she is confronted\".)

It was then that the \"change in roles\" took place. I was asked by my wife to please go and talk to our niece try to find out the truth and we would deal with it when we knew the facts. I was a little taken back by the request but the whole family had now turned to me for some reason (as of yet I do not understand) for guidance.

I went and spoke with my niece, who was visibly shaken, crying and to me someone traumatized. As she spoke very good English we had no problem communicating. I first told her I was sorry for the way she was treated upon her return, but my wife is just a very loving person and only concerned with her well-being. She asked me if I could promise her my wife would not cuss her publicly again. I told her, I would stop that if she would be willing to tell me the truth so we could decide as a family how and what to do next.

I ask her point blank Donna (not real name) are you pregnant. She said \"NO\". I told her I would like to believe her but could she look me in the eyes and tell me such, she replied she could not.

Thus I told her, listen, if you are not pregnant the first person who will apologize to you will be my wife, then the rest of this family and we will put an end to this rumor. But to that I need your help? From your past history you have a tendency to both lie and be very dramatic at times. And right now indeed if you are pregnant, I know you must really be afraid, confused and scared to death. But believe this , this is not the end of your life, just the beginning, have the courage to not run away from this problem like you have in the past, causing this family much needless worry, and I will promise you I will help you all I can. But if you don\'t tell me the truth I don\'t see how I can help you. Once again she states, \"I am not pregnant\"

Ok I said, there is only one solution. To have those who you say have pre-judged you stop doing such we must establish whether you are pregnant or not. I am going to take your word on this, but what I am going to ask you to do next will decide how I help you. I told her I was going to Mercury and get a pregnancy test. She agreed to take it. But as her eyes were downcast and blinking rapidly my old days of Forensic Psych were leading me more and more away from her and in agreements with the rumors. None the less I went to Mercury, after much conversation with the chief pharmacist there I decided to purchase 2 kits, for it was already noon and the test is more accurate on the first output of urine in the am than later. So if I got a false positive I would repeat it the next day.

I told  my niece that Nanay would accompany her to the bathroom for her comfort( but never underestimate the streets smarts of 19 year old sexually active girl , urine test have been swapped before)...I also told her that only myself and her aunt (Jennifer) would read the results in our room. I finally told her that if she turned out to be pregnant that whatever the family came up with as their way of helping her would be final for all the role I was playing was that of facilitator.

The test takes 3 minutes to read...well hers took about 30 seconds before 2 very dark purple lines showed up in the test/control area indicating a positive result. For the next 30 minutes there were tears, hugs, prayers and finally the truth started to come out. My wife called the boyfriend of our niece. He denied being the father at first but and I don\'t know what my wife said to him, within two hours the boy had agreed to take our niece back to his mother and fathers house and tell them of their plight.

What does all this mean? For one it means that no matter how good of a loving person you are, no matter how much you preach and teach the value of obtaining an higher education to our young ones, even if you can prove by your own example that your life is better due to your education, your value system, your moral and personal convictions...it may still fall on death ears!

This is certainly not unique or rare to the Filipino community; certainly not to the USA community where babies are having babies ever day to suck at the teats of the welfare system that will in this old marine’s life at least only increase if this next election goes the way of the current tracking polls.

The difference lies in how this family here in the now city of Bayugan handled its problems. They were handled with both dignity and respect for the person in crisis while at the same time ensuring that the nucleus of the family was not shattered. That same niece, who two days ago was terrified of her \"outcome\" in life, now laughs about being the new \"mother\" in the Maneja-Murphy family.

I have no idea what the future will bring for this niece, I don\'t know if she will become an unwed mother for it will not be my wife or I who force this boy to marry her, for we are still not sure as to the facts of \"fatherhood\". If it means one more person for me and my wife to help, then so be it. God has moved me to this place I love finally, and maybe if he sees fit through some plan that has as of yet been unrevealed to me, then so be it. Until I stop drawing breath I will continue to love and support this wonderful group of people that I call my Family. Dysfunctional? maybe...happy....YES


Semper FI Brother....

Forever Faithfull to the Rest of You; D

Murf

Offline GregW

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2008, 11:32:56 AM »
Murf wrote;
Quote
  Before it was always my Nanay who was consider the \"Queen\", or \"Superior Mother\", for she was the one who took every one in and turned away no one. But the one really in charge was and always has been my wife. When she speaks it just gets quiet in the house and all eyes and ears are on her.

LOL.  Murf it runs in the family.  The Maneja family that is.   ;D  My wife is the middle child of three daughters, no brothers.  Mama and Papa and both sisters obey her every word.  They literally cower   :o  in front of her when she \"tells them off\" about something.  She says that it has been this way since she was a teenager.  She telling them what to do.  Of course, she is only concerned about their welfare and helping them to lead a better life.  It\'s a kick to watch it though. 

Now, I just have to pray that she never gets to the point that she does that to me!  LOL   ;D ;) :D

By the way, that was a very poignant story that you shared with us about your pagumankon (niece).

   
Ako si Goyo.   Amerikano akong lawas pero Bisaya akong kasing-kasing

Offline geno555

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2008, 12:03:09 PM »
Greg

I tried to use the quote symbol to write you back, but looks like I need OJT for that lol

Yeah we must get our two wives together, after this party which is consuming my wives life right now I will send you our cells and emails by private.

Murf

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: An invitation from Murf
« Reply #14 on: November 04, 2008, 12:23:34 AM »
Brother Jack & Sister Glo

So sad to hear of your loss. With the most recent but certainly not unexpected death of my own mother I guess I can say I understand some of what you feel, although I don\'t truly believe anyone can fully comprehend the feelings of loss that another suffers.

For me the death of my Mother was a God Send. She was finally able to receive the eternal rest that she was denied for 2 1/2 years of lying in a hospital bed, being unable to move, unable to swallow, unable to communicate, being keep alive artificially through a tube inserted in her stomach for she was so brain damage from the massive strokes that she was not even capable of having nasal-gastric tube feedings for she could not swallow. Thus every time she had an accumulation of salvia in her mouth, I had to train her caregivers to suction her out immediately to prevent her lungs from filling up with fluids which eventually despite the heroic efforts of all involved she finally developed mechanical pneumonia.

Jack as far as your brother-in-law and nephew it was both a pleasure and wonderful experience to meet them. I was taken aback by the boy’s politeness and the amount of love he showed towards his Father. You and Glo must certainly be proud of them both. I must admit however that even though through my writings on this venue...I know I come across as \"stringent\" and harsh at times... but as both you and Glo will someday learn the \"Murphy\'s\" are a very hospitable and loving couple, more than willing to share of what little we have. I am no different than many on this site, my exterior may at times be tortoise like, but believe me I am one big \"p**** cat\" inside. It only takes the smile of a dirty face little girl or boy in the squatters area of the docks of Manila to bring both a smile and tears to this old Marines heart.

Semper FI Brother....

Forever Faithfull to the Rest of You; D

Murf


Murf,

Thank you for your kind, consoling words.  I also send you our deepest condolences on the passing of your dear mother.  Like your mother, my aunt had been suffering for a long time.  She developed breast cancer, and it had spread.  In spite of the chemotherapy and radiation treatments, the doctors could do nothing more for her. 

She called my dad, her only surviving brother, on Saturday to wish him a Happy Birthday.  She told dad that she was tired and was ready for the end.  She had lived a long, full life and was simply ready to go.  After a long talk with dad and they had said their final goodbye\'s to each other, she went to bed and died.  Needless to say, Dad is taking it very hard.  She was his only surviving sibling and his younger sister.

Now to change the tone...  My nephew is a real fine young man, isn\'t he?  And how about that brother in law?  You\'ll never find a harder working man than Ronel Murillo.  I\'m very proud of both of those young men and will do everything I can to see to it that they both succeed.  Just like you I see the good in people and am always willing to help those who show signs of being capable individuals.  I look forward to watching Ryan grow into a young man, get a good education and start his own family.  With any luck at all, I\'ll be right beside him as he accomplishes those goals.

More later, brother.  Glo and I will be calling you two soon.

God Bless!

Jack

Louisville, KY USA

 


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