Author Topic: Cagayan de Oro - HELP  (Read 7736 times)

Offline mikbal

  • Sr Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 110
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2013, 10:34:58 AM »
      I've a known a couple of guys who were stationed at one of the US military installations at one time or another and then retired in the Philippines. They started out OK but ended up holed up in their houses watching DVDs  and drinking day and night.  On the rare occasion I would see one in the SM at Clark, I might get a nod but that would be it.  That was for the best because when they did talk all they did was complain and gripe about their lives in the Philippines. Eventually, they finally went back to the US.

Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

  • Sr Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3,812
  • From California, now living in Sta Rosa, Laguna
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2013, 10:52:37 AM »
Come on Mike!
That's just typically stereo-typing most of the ex-military retirees who lives in the Philippines and leaving out other expats from other countries who for some are not sociable either! Most of the ex-military retirees are not like that! I for one am not like that and I'm ex-military myself!
I can say the same thing about other retirees who come and retire here only on their measly Country's Retirement Plan, Social Security or Disability Pension from where ever!  ??? :o ;)
« Last Edit: September 18, 2013, 11:24:05 AM by Art, re(tired) Fil/Am »
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
"It's always a matter of money"!
"Do on to others as they would do on to You, but do it first"!
"Different strokes for different folks"!
"Que Sera Sera"!

Offline BudM

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,876
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2013, 11:40:51 AM »
Art.  There is stereo-typing going on anywhere and for anything you can think of.  You have a wife.  Most of the guys on here are married.  Me though?  Have been single all my life, ex-military, and traveling over here a couple times a year once I decided I would retire here.  Do you know how much crap I had to listen to?  Yeah, man.  All I was doing was coming over here chasing women.  My few close friends knew the scoop but a lot of people always questioning me and were insinuating that.  If I had reason to, I explained a little.  Sometimes it was satisfactory, sometimes it wasn't.  And if they were not happy with it and kept pushing it, if I felt like it I just told them to kiss off.  I wouldn't get all worked up over it.  Damn, people worrying about stereo-typing of everything and making issues over it is one of the things contributing to the decline back across the ocean.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

  • Sr Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3,812
  • From California, now living in Sta Rosa, Laguna
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2013, 11:44:33 AM »
Bud,
So what you are saying, you don't like being stereo-typed either! That was my point!
It's like judging the front cover of a book without reading it!  :o :( >:(  ;)
« Last Edit: September 18, 2013, 11:52:31 AM by Art, re(tired) Fil/Am »
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
"It's always a matter of money"!
"Do on to others as they would do on to You, but do it first"!
"Different strokes for different folks"!
"Que Sera Sera"!

Offline BudM

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,876
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #19 on: September 18, 2013, 11:52:56 AM »
It can get tiresome but I don't worry about it so much.  Just like you, I have too much time to go yet.  Not going to let it kill me.  I am here to relax and let most of the troubles in the rest of the world pass me by.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

  • Sr Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3,812
  • From California, now living in Sta Rosa, Laguna
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #20 on: September 18, 2013, 11:54:16 AM »
Bud,
Hallelujah! Amen to that! I too am here to relax and let most of the troubles in the rest of the world to pass me by with a blink of an eye.  ;)
« Last Edit: September 18, 2013, 01:52:22 PM by Art, re(tired) Fil/Am »
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
"It's always a matter of money"!
"Do on to others as they would do on to You, but do it first"!
"Different strokes for different folks"!
"Que Sera Sera"!

Offline coleman2347

  • ole jarhead, Tacloban City, Leyte
  • Sr Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1,160
  • Retired Marine, Retired DOD
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #21 on: September 18, 2013, 01:46:25 PM »
I totally agree, its funny to me when Filipinos tell me I'm not like most foreigners?  So what are most foreigners like?  I always question the word "most".   
The only thing worse than wanting to do it is not doing it

Offline Lee2

  • Administrator
  • Sr Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,232
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #22 on: September 18, 2013, 07:47:04 PM »
I totally agree, its funny to me when Filipinos tell me I'm not like most foreigners?  So what are most foreigners like?  I always question the word "most".

I have had quite a few Filipinos tell me the same thing, so I asked some of those who are friends what they meant and below is some answers
"you are not a drunk sir"
"you are married sir Lee"
"you do not cheat on your wife"
"you treat Filipinos as equals"
"you are nice to me"
"you do not yell at Filipinos"
and so on
I cannot remember them all but the above ones stick out in my mind since I have heard them over and over from different Filipino friends, so I would say that the bad foreigners leave some pretty bad impressions, so that those of us who are not like that get the comment that we are not like other foreigners. 

During my 19 plus years going to the Philippines I personally have seen many westerners treat Filipinos poorly, so those who have to deal with westerners on a regular basis probably get to see more of the bad types than the good ones.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline BudM

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,876
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2013, 01:06:53 AM »
I totally agree, its funny to me when Filipinos tell me I'm not like most foreigners?  So what are most foreigners like?  I always question the word "most".

I have had quite a few Filipinos tell me the same thing, so I asked some of those who are friends what they meant and below is some answers
"you are not a drunk sir"
"you are married sir Lee"
"you do not cheat on your wife"
"you treat Filipinos as equals"
"you are nice to me"
"you do not yell at Filipinos"
and so on
I cannot remember them all but the above ones stick out in my mind since I have heard them over and over from different Filipino friends, so I would say that the bad foreigners leave some pretty bad impressions, so that those of us who are not like that get the comment that we are not like other foreigners. 

During my 19 plus years going to the Philippines I personally have seen many westerners treat Filipinos poorly, so those who have to deal with westerners on a regular basis probably get to see more of the bad types than the good ones.

What does being married have to do with it?  Same crap I was just telling Art about.  Does that make you super good guys all that much better?  Ahhh, forget it.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline Lee2

  • Administrator
  • Sr Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,232
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2013, 10:21:13 AM »

What does being married have to do with it?  Same crap I was just telling Art about.  Does that make you super good guys all that much better?  Ahhh, forget it.

No Bud I was just referring to what they tell me, so we all need to be nice, so we all are seen as the good guys, married or not.

It does seem that a lot of the single westerners are players, so that might make it bad for the good single guys who are not.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline BudM

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,876
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #25 on: September 19, 2013, 12:59:54 PM »

What does being married have to do with it?  Same crap I was just telling Art about.  Does that make you super good guys all that much better?  Ahhh, forget it.

No Bud I was just referring to what they tell me, so we all need to be nice, so we all are seen as the good guys, married or not.

It does seem that a lot of the single westerners are players, so that might make it bad for the good single guys who are not.

True.  It does seem like that.  Again, it does seem like that.  Maybe though it is because the single ones that are players usually have it in their head that they are some kind of stud and have no qualms about anyone knowing what they are doing so it gets sensationalized.  On the other hand, the married guys, of which there is no shortage making a mockery of the institution of marriage and running around cheating on their wives like it to be hush, hush since they have a roadblock if caught.

Yeah, back in my 20s, I dated more than one girl at a time.  But then as I was heading in to my 30s, I started to wake up.  I am a couple of months from 60 now.  All that time in between I have been single and I have never been involved with more than one woman at a time.  And there was plenty of time in between them too.  A lot of times I have been asked as to what is wrong with me as if I am somehow defective because I have never been married.  What it mainly boils down to is that I have been wrapped up in work for years and just never met someone previously whom I had ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

It is a fact, that society in general, looks at a married individual as being more stable, reliable, loving, and what ever else you want to add to it than a single individual.  Well, I am here to tell you that is a crock of crap.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline iamjames

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1,086
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #26 on: September 19, 2013, 02:20:07 PM »
Apologies for my late reply here but the hotel had no internet (or phone) for a few days. Sorry, I misread your response Graham - and went to Flamenco's last night about 8! No one there. I asked the waitress and she said expats had been there earlier. She said there would be more on Friday. What Time? I might just leave it til Wed. next. Loved the seafood chowder though!
Looking at the other comments about strange expats, I have encountered them everywhere. Many seem to be expats out of necessity rather than by choice, for various nefarious reasons, and they behave accordingly: aggressive and ignorant towards the locals. I could honestly say that in my travels I have met more bad expats than natives wherever I went. As for talking with them - I greet all expats and will bore anyone with long conversations. I find more often that I get an ignorant reaction rather than friendliness - as referred to above. It is a sad reality of expats. Unfortunately I have found generally that most of the expats from my own country, Ireland, have been totally obnoxious. I have never struck anyone in my adult life - but on at least three occasions I have been driven to the limits by expat Irish. I hate it when they are totally disrespectful to natives. Anyway - cy'all soon. I need to research the visa forum and get started on extensions.

Offline medic3500

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 631
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #27 on: September 19, 2013, 04:55:41 PM »
@ Bud, Absolutely nothing wrong with what you're doing. My son is 31 and single, I asked him the same thing, his answer was almost the same as yours with an added response. He said he watched his mom and I bicker and argue constantly 10 of the 25 years we were married, and he doesn't want that. That hurt to hear that but was the truth. I do hope he finds what he is looking for but don't think there is such a thing as a perfect women.

Offline mikbal

  • Sr Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 110
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #28 on: September 19, 2013, 10:37:02 PM »
   Just to be clear, I didn't mean to imply that all military retirees in the Philippines are like the two I described.  I will say that the ones I have encountered in the Angeles/Subic area tend to be one of two kinds. Either they have adapted to the way it is now and are reasonably happy with their lives, or they are truly miserable. I speculate the latter group expected their lives to be just the way they were when the US bases were around and are unhappy because things have changed.

Offline Gray Wolf

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5,068
Re: Cagayan de Oro - HELP
« Reply #29 on: September 19, 2013, 10:47:25 PM »
   Just to be clear, I didn't mean to imply that all military retirees in the Philippines are like the two I described.  I will say that the ones I have encountered in the Angeles/Subic area tend to be one of two kinds. Either they have adapted to the way it is now and are reasonably happy with their lives, or they are truly miserable. I speculate the latter group expected their lives to be just the way they were when the US bases were around and are unhappy because things have changed.

Many of those who constantly griped about what was wrong with the RP, who didn't get along with their neighbors, drank too much and were ultimately unhappy in the Philippines were likely just as miserable and as dysfunctional back where they came from.  Unhappy people are just miserable to be around no matter where they live.
 
 
Louisville, KY USA

 


bisaya, cebuano, cebuano lessons, bisaya lessons
Romantic Tagalog