Author Topic: Update on our visit  (Read 8756 times)

Offline Gray Wolf

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Update on our visit
« on: December 11, 2013, 12:05:59 PM »
As most of you know I am now sitting in beautiful (cough, cough) Bagong Silang, Caloocan City, Manila.  We arrived Nov 28 and have been here with the family ever since.  We are due to return to the frigid US on Jan 7.

During this visit I had hoped to visit Cebu and Bacolod City, as well as possibly a few other places, to meet and greet many of you in person.  Well, unfortunately my side trips aren't going to happen, at least not as many as I planned.  Some of you may know that Gloria's Tatay went into the hospital just before we left the US.  He spent a week there being tested for various ailments and treated for kidney stones.  The tests revealed that in addition to kidney stones he also has an aortic aneurysm and an enlarged heart.  The hospital cost before we left home was over $3000.  Since we've been here we've spent an additional $2000 on follow up visits with various doctors.  That was our pocket money for this trip.  We are now sitting waiting for Glo's paycheck and my SS check to hit the bank so we can have money to go to the farm for what may be Tatay's final visit to his home there. 
We had planned to visit Buguey many times in the past, but something always came up.  I'm holding out that this year we will finally visit Gloria's home town.  Tatay is also hopefull he will get to visit and introduce me to the family there.  We are negotiating now for a driver to take us from Manila to Buguey and back.  A family friend, who has a new Toyota Revo, has driven us to the hospital a few times with Tatay and I'm told he has also driven to Buguey with my brother in law for a visit just a few months ago.  So we are hoping to make that trip at least.  It has become my mission now, so that Tatay will be able to see his home town again before he passes on.

Life is fragile and I have to make the most of what time I have with him.  He is a sweet, loving man who is well respected by all who meet him.  It's the least I can do for him.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2013, 12:08:14 PM by Gray Wolf »
Louisville, KY USA

Offline shortman

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2013, 02:03:56 PM »
Jack, i hope you get to fulfill your desire in regards to your asawa's tatay; It dont take long for hospital to take it's toll on the wallet and for you to go that extra mile he must be a great fellow, many would slowly drag along but you really love the family; you wont lose my friend, in fact you have already won............the best to you and family.
Effective November 2014 this account is now being used by Lar, Shortman's widow.

Offline iamjames

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2013, 02:31:22 PM »
That's a real bummer Jack. At times like this money fades into the background in importance. Respect and dignity cannot be bought. You have earned both - with the community here and with your Philippino family. 

Offline hitekcountry

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2013, 03:17:34 PM »
That's a real bummer Jack. At times like this money fades into the background in importance. Respect and dignity cannot be bought. You have earned both - with the community here and with your Philippino family. 

James expressed my thoughts perfectly.

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2013, 03:38:49 PM »
Thanks guys!  I lost my own father almost 3 years ago.  After a difficult and abusive relationship through the years I did my best to love the man.  We made amends the day he died, or at least I like to think we did.

With Glo's tatay, it has been a totally different relationship from day one.  He is quiet, but insightful and more than ready to share his secrets with me.  I only wish I could speak Ilocano so that he and I could be alone and talk "guy" stuff.  A better man doesn't exist in my world and I cherish every minute we spend together.
Louisville, KY USA

Offline Lee2

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2013, 04:51:25 PM »
Our prayers are with you and family Jack, hoping you will all get your visit and that tatay will live a long happy lifetime, so you all can spend lots of time together. BTW I have a friend with a severe aortic aneurysm and he is still with us for many years after he was diagnosed and as for the enlarged heart, blood pressure med Atenolol helped my heart to go back to a normal size after it was very enlarged, so maybe some can help tatay as well.

Hope to get to see you all one day in Cebu.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2013, 05:08:46 PM »
Thanks Lee,

Gloria just went to the pharmacy to get some prescriptions filled for Tatay.  One was for his heart but I swear I don't know how a pharmacist is supposed to read the scribble doctors use.  It isn't so much the names of medicine, just how poorly they scrawl it.  When they come back with the meds I'll check the name and see what he's taking.

One med he takes is the same as one of mine, Tamsulosin. But that's for the prostate, not the heart.  I know he has one for angina, but again don't remember the name. 

Today he's doing really good and actually walked to Glo's sister's house across the street, accompanied by Nanay, of course.  They just brought back a big stick of pork BBQ for me.  Masarap!  Love the stuff!   :D
Louisville, KY USA

Offline wildbill

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2013, 10:05:56 PM »
I am sorry to hear that .also GW.My prayers are with you and family Gray Wolf.Atleast you and Gloria are here at christmas time.with the Family.take care my friend..

Offline mikbal

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2013, 04:49:48 AM »
Jack, I believe you're doing the right thing and I'm sure her Dad very much appreciates it. Presuming Buguey is the one on the north coast of Cagayan, how long a trip is that from Manila?

Mike

Offline BingColin

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2013, 07:30:09 AM »
Jack, sorry to hear about your father in law, but unfortunately that is a fact of life in the Philippines. Something that anyone marrying a Filipina should be aware of is that you have a moral responsibility to the rest of the family. We have spent a lot of money on medical expenses and education and don't expect anything in return.

Offline meylou

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2013, 11:56:03 AM »
So sorry to hear about your Tatay, Jack.  Have a safe trip to Buguey. May God bless you for being so kind and loving to your in-laws.
What we think we become... Buddha
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Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2013, 02:27:15 PM »
Jack, I believe you're doing the right thing and I'm sure her Dad very much appreciates it. Presuming Buguey is the one on the north coast of Cagayan, how long a trip is that from Manila?

Mike

With a personal driver, about 12-14 hours.  By bus, 15-18 hours, depending on weather.  I still am planning on the driver with a new SUV.

Tatay had fun wathcing me eat lunch today, which consisted of Pancit Canton, fish balls and ararusip, a seaweed salad that I love.   Masarap!   :)
Louisville, KY USA

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2013, 02:30:40 PM »
Jack, sorry to hear about your father in law, but unfortunately that is a fact of life in the Philippines. Something that anyone marrying a Filipina should be aware of is that you have a moral responsibility to the rest of the family. We have spent a lot of money on medical expenses and education and don't expect anything in return.

I expect nothing in return for taking care of Glo's dad, except his love.  The other expenses like tuition for our college student, the expectation is that she will get a good job, pay for her brother's tuition and take care of her parents.  And maybe remember her Tita Glo and Tito Jack at Christmas and our birthdays.  Mostly I do it out of love for family and a desire to see them succeed in life. 
Louisville, KY USA

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2013, 02:32:06 PM »
So sorry to hear about your Tatay, Jack.  Have a safe trip to Buguey. May God bless you for being so kind and loving to your in-laws.

Thanks Meylou!  I'm really looking forward to seeing Buguey, the crab capital of the north.  I plan to eat my way across the coastline trying all the different varieties of crab and shrimp.    ;)
Louisville, KY USA

Offline paulgee

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Re: Update on our visit
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2013, 09:57:00 PM »
Sorry to hear about Gloria's Tatay, I hope the treatment you are funding will aid him and improve his quality of life.

However much one limits general help to the family out there it the requirement for medical aid which is impossible to ignore. Like you, we have family out there who do not ask much of us. We send money regularly to help the family, but they lead a simple life, with none of the excesses one reads about that some beneficiaries indulge in with the proceeds of remittances received.

I am sure you will nevertheless enjoy your time out there, and knowing you are helping the family there will balance the loss of additional holidaying. Our holiday there last year was similarly affected when we had to fund a thyroid operation for Shirley's brother. No choice - but no problem.

Enjoy your time there, I am sure you find it is the love and inclusiveness of one wife's family which helps make the Philippines a happy and special place to be, as it is for me.

I know you said you have put back your date for moving out there Jack, have you been able to firm up on that yet?

Paul
Based in the UK, and part time in our San Fernando, Pampanga house

 


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