Author Topic: Is Tampo A Bad Word or Is My First Pinay Relationship With A Crazy Person !!  (Read 7170 times)

Offline medic3500

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Damn, looking for that like button again for JD's response.

Offline M.C.A.

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Haven't heard that term "Tampo" but looked it up: 

Tampo, in Philippine culture, refers to a range of behavior in which a person withdraws his or her affection or cheerfulness from a person who has hurt his or her feelings. The term has no precise equivalent in English, though "sulking" or "to sulk" is often considered the closest translation.

Ooff if I had to do it all over again I'd avoid someone like this for sure.
My views would be from someone who lives out in the province close to in-laws on a pension.  Norwegian and French heritage.

Offline medic3500

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sum it up with BUTTHURT

Offline dragonsmack

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Re: Is Tampo A Bad Word or Is My First Pinay Relationship With A Crazy Person !!
« Reply #18 on: September 09, 2017, 12:09:46 PM »
Forgot I even posted this which seems like forever ago...

Anyway, since I am here I might as well update it, she has never demonstrated any form of "tampo" again and will be flying back to see her for a second time in 4 weeks.

Offline Lee2

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Re: Is Tampo A Bad Word or Is My First Pinay Relationship With A Crazy Person !!
« Reply #19 on: September 09, 2017, 06:19:52 PM »
Forgot I even posted this which seems like forever ago...

Anyway, since I am here I might as well update it, she has never demonstrated any form of "tampo" again and will be flying back to see her for a second time in 4 weeks.
Good to hear that things are progressing, hope you keep us filled in. Enjoy your visit.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline nicolanewman

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Re: Is Tampo A Bad Word or Is My First Pinay Relationship With A Crazy Person !!
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2017, 11:24:57 AM »
It's not just with the word TAMPO and it's not just with Filipina. It's with women. They get mad with men without them knowing the reason. They deny that their mad and just says everything is ok when it is obvious that it's not. It's not the word, but it is her really having TAMPO with you.

Offline BudM

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Re: Is Tampo A Bad Word or Is My First Pinay Relationship With A Crazy Person !!
« Reply #21 on: September 17, 2017, 12:52:37 AM »
Forgot I even posted this which seems like forever ago...

Anyway, since I am here I might as well update it, she has never demonstrated any form of "tampo" again and will be flying back to see her for a second time in 4 weeks.

This your third post and your second one was in early January.  At that time, apparently you had still not visited her.  It seems that in the last few months you must have visited her since you are going back for your second trip.  So, was your first trip not memorable enough to share anything with us about it?  Like maybe, where did you go and how long were you there?  So far all we know is what goes on with your video chats and that she must have previously had tampo but now she doesn't.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline ABCDeVil

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Re: Is Tampo A Bad Word or Is My First Pinay Relationship With A Crazy Person !!
« Reply #22 on: September 25, 2017, 11:28:39 PM »
Forgot I even posted this which seems like forever ago...

Anyway, since I am here I might as well update it, she has never demonstrated any form of "tampo" again and will be flying back to see her for a second time in 4 weeks.
Well did people give you words to think about?

For me, as Hestecrefter said, "my wife and I have had to fall back on that rather antiquated form of communication - discussion". He is so very correct. Without good communication, no matter what subject, what it is you both want/need/have to do, discussing it, will always give both people a better understanding on whatever the other person views/anticipates/wants for each series of decisions. Make decisions together, or at least, if one of you is not readily available, support your partner in the decision they had made. Yes they won't be correct in their choice each time, but at the time of making their decision, they used whatever info was available at the time. I support my asawa, when she makes these, not often, silly decisions, but rather, we talk about it more, then figure out how to remedy, if it is necessary.

Really, she knows me and how I think, so she makes pretty good decisions most of the time. Being older and not always the wisest one, in our relationship, we both sit and figure out what, when or how we are going to do the BIG things in our life. Now it i 4 yrs + 1 day, we have been together, we do very well in getting it right (better) most of the time. Tampo does not show its ugly head, unless one of us, actually does something wrong, to cause that situation/feeling. LOL both of us, when we do get mad about X or Y, it does not last too long.

What a lucky man I am. Oh BTW, me 50+, asawa 20+, both have time and patients, to fix whatever we need to do, together.

ABC

Offline User444

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dragonsmack, what ended up happening? Patience and understanding are important, but you need communication. I got hit with tampo a few times (she thought I was insulting her family or culture) and told her she needed to communicate with me because I couldn't read her mind and she couldn't read my mind. She said she would work on it but it's happened 4 times. The first two times were 2-3 days of limited to non-existent communication. The third and fourth time, she was able to speak about why it rubbed her wrong within 24 hours. After the fourth time, I raised my voice with her and said "You're not learning. You need to fix this. This is not healthy." Since then, so far so good.

Offline User444

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Spoke too soon  ::)

Offline iamjames

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Tampo is a feature of every culture. It is a sign of emotional immaturity and limited intellect. As the emotional level of Pinays is about 10YO on average you just have to develop a mechanism for dealing with Tampo. It is useless just to tell the woman not to "tampo".  That is as useful as telling a tiger to lose it's stripes.

Offline jjcabgou

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Tampo is a feature of every culture. It is a sign of emotional immaturity and limited intellect. As the emotional level of Pinays is about 10YO on average you just have to develop a mechanism for dealing with Tampo. It is useless just to tell the woman not to "tampo".  That is as useful as telling a tiger to lose it's stripes.
Having been immersed in the Philippines culture for the last 28 years, I sadly agree with everything you just said. 

Offline FastWalk

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Spoke too soon  ::)

My thoughts on this are; 

It will probably never be gone completely.  It is part of the building blocks of who the person is.  It really sucks and seems unfair when it it occurring.  Remember,  it is mostly just in the thoughts and mind and can usually pass in some time.  If nothing really bad is occurring just keep her safe and then try to detach and use the time for self improvement of any kind.  As you will have a little bit of extra free time may as well use it for something useful and also to keep your mind off of it.  She will either be back(emotionally) or not.  It is up to her.

One thought,  is that this probably does not occur unless she really likes you... 

I don't mean that if this never happens that the lady doesn't like you.   Just usually if it does occur it would usually only be if the lady does like you a lot.

The choices are to try to force her to not do it (good luck on that). But it can still be occurring inside her where you do not see it....

Or try to control/manage self so as to not be so much bothered by it,  also not easy.


Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Offline David690

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Spoke too soon  ::)

When I saw this "You're not learning. You need to fix this. This is not healthy." , I immediately thought, Good luck with that approach.
Londoner at heart

Offline Peter

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When I saw this "You're not learning. You need to fix this. This is not healthy." , I immediately thought, Good luck with that approach.

David.

Chuckle, chuckle. Thought the same thing, as I did have similar experiences before, and to a lessor extent after, we were married.

I said to the wife early on, "I'd prefer when you think I've pi***d you off, you shout at me". It works - sort of.  :)

Now when I see/feel a bit of Tampo coming on (that's not very often a couple of time a year maybe), I say to her, "Shout at me!". She normally bursts out laughing and says, "You shouldn't have done xxxxx/whatever." So I apologise, well grovel really. ;) ;) and then everything is smiles again.

Our daughter was told at a very early age (by me) that tampo is childish, and if she's upset tell us. It was quite funny when she was little, as an 8 year old, she was telling her Ate's not to be so childish. I couldn't stop laughing when the wife told me.  :) :) :) So I hope that some guy in the future will not be subjected to Filipina tampo from my daughter. LOL!

If everyone teaches their children that tampo is childish, then maybe a tampo-free Philippines is on the horizon. I also believe in unicorns.  ;D ;D

Peter
Noli nothis permittere te terere.
Virtus autem corruptibilis est,
summa virtute prorsus corrumpitur,

 


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