How do you do it?
We are ready, willing, and able to pay 2x to 4x times as much as the going local rate for an in-home helper. Most helpers here work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, but we don't even require them to live in, and we give them a full paid day off each week...
I wish I knew. We just lost our helper to The Mystery about a month or so ago.
In a former life, I was an assistant building engineer for a commercial real estate company. I worked my way up from janitorial services to being responsible for two of Seattle's Central Waterfront piers and nearly a city block of restaurant/office space in downtown. I had done the dirty work for years in my working life and was a bit adverse to having a "maid".
My wife wanted a helper for the new house we built, "...at least for a while." When we arrived in the Philippines, my mother-in-law was waiting with a girl she had basically "rescued" from someone who was taking advantage of her need for a place to stay/work so that she could go to college (it was actually a teacher). She was forced to work all day, etc., etc. I'm sure you've heard that song before.
So, OK. We had a live-in helper in the rental house. She did anything she was asked and took care of everything fairly well for an 18-year old (I thought). When we moved into the house we'd built, she came with us. She was basically now an extension of the family.
She's part of an indigenous group here on Mindanao and my wife, through a batchmate in whatever government office handles these things, got her into college with financial assistance. So not only was her schooling paid for, she was being paid a fine salary each month, getting three squares and a bed, full access to the TV and the internet, and went on trips with us. She didn't drink, smoke, steal from us, fool around with boys or even go out when she could. She was like a kid sister.
She went "home" a couple of times, always reluctantly and often refusing to go when her mother messaged and asked. She didn't want to leave and her mother wanted her to come home. Just a couple of months ago, she took a last-minute trip home and seemed to vanish.
She didn't call or text or answer our calls and texts and even cut communication with her boyfriend (my wife's nephew). We didn't hear from her for days.
While my wife and I were in Singapore for a few days, she came back to our house, grabbed her stuff and left again. It was something about her mother selling their property and something, something, something else. I call it "The Mystery".
Three years. I had basically considered her as being like a niece. I often ran interference when she'd screwed up something and softened the complaints my wife had about her work and always made sure she had a cell phone, any favorite foods, and a lot of laughter. Three years.
So now we have one of my wife's sisters here helping out. She's very nice and works hard but she's so incredibly shy around me that I feel like a ghost. This is supposedly temporary and we're supposedly looking for a helper but it doesn't appear that it will happen.
I guess, even loving Filipinos like your own children is no guarantee that they will treat you any better than anyone else.