Author Topic: A friend looking for an honest Filipina  (Read 810 times)

Offline BobHarding

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 66
A friend looking for an honest Filipina
« on: March 07, 2018, 07:46:32 AM »
A friend looking for an honest Filipina

Hi everyone...been awhile since I posted here and am hoping everyone is doing well and are well!

I have a pal who began an Internet search to try to find a potential Filipino girl who would be interested in marriage and would like living in the USA. He started out by joining some online Filipino Dating sites....(3 I think)

Recently he told me that it seems like a large percentage of women seem to be more interested in money than love....and he is beginning to have doubts about his search.

It's been 19 years since I did any of that and no longer have a clue as to what is the best method for him to find an honest Filipino girl.

Hope someone here can give a heads up on a good dating site or a better way to find honest love long distance.

Thanks and Mahalo

BobH

P.S. I looked at a couple of the sites he is using and at first glance it seems like they would be good but then when I read the comments I find a lot of posts about scammers....the other thing it seems like there are hundreds if not thousands of men looking just in Cebu from all over the world.....a lot of competition...

Offline Lee2

  • Administrator
  • Sr Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,384
  • Peace Keeper
Re: A friend looking for an honest Filipina
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2018, 08:14:37 AM »
Scammers are out there on both sides nowadays. In the old days, likely when you and I were looking, the ladies here never met a westerner in person, so they only had the images of how great they are supposed to be from watching movies and TV, nowadays westerners flood the Philippines and I can honestly say that many who come here are low life trash players, while some are great people, so when I watch the trash ones who are already in the Philippines talk to the ladies like they are toys to be played with, and I am sure that also happens on the internet, it is no wonder that there are more and more scammers out there on the internet looking to play the men they meet since they too were likely played a bit during their search.

My only advice is for him to keep trying and weeding out the scammers from the real ladies and he might wish to seek out more mature ladies, rather than the younger ones that it seems the players all seek out, not that all men who seek out younger ladies are players. In recent months a friend of ours who had used a site found a lady that he has just met here in Cebu and who we just met while with him and she seems like a very good lady, he too had some players try to play him but he persisted.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline JoeLP

  • Global Moderator
  • Sr Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,587
Re: A friend looking for an honest Filipina
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2018, 06:26:15 PM »
Lee hit it on the head.  Now days it about the time he's willing to spend.  My ex and I were done in 2009.  So I started searching in 2010.  Paid for services and used free sites.  Doesn't matter, I was just finding nothing.  In 2012 I stopped paying for services and only used a couple of the free sites.
I would use the free video chat rooms(no nudity was allowed in the main chat room by the owners/moderators) and just would talk.  No longer looking for a woman as my plan the changed to moving to the Phils in 2015 and bunking at a friends house and "get my feet wet" in the local area(Las Pinas) before making any moves(moving out or finding a woman). 
I was on the site one night and there was this one woman who was a sparse talker and usually just sitting at her desk and reading all the main board talk.  I private messaged her and our first talk went very close to
ME: "hi, how are you".
HER:  "good, you?".
ME:  "Good, thank you.  You don't talk much.".
HER:  "Nope, how old are you?"
ME: "34"
HER: "o, ur too young for me"
ME: "Can we still talk?  Nothing else to do"
HER: "Yes"

That was damn near to the word and spelling how Tina and I started our relationship.  btw, her and I are the same age, she just been hurt by too many young players on the net and wanted more security and structure and saw that in older men.

My point, the women in the Phils today are not like what they use to be.  On top of that, they are not in almost anyway the same.  So there isn't a simple "do this, don't do that" type of rule sheet.  Your friend will need to wade through a long of swamp to find his queen.  Some women are not mentally stable.  Some are VERY possessive and easy to jealousy.  Some are players straight up.  Some brag about it.  Met more than a few that had at least 3 guys on the lines and collecting money from each on a weekly/monthly basis.

There is a lot more work do be done.  I met a lot of women who are probably good wife material...but were looking for a way out of the Phils as one of the sticking points to making any further talk.  When they learned I wanted to move here and not bring her to the USA...talks withered.  Some want your help for their family and they are sincere.  I actually did help a few.  But do NOT be played.  Ask them what hospital the family member is in and for them to get you the phone number to the hospital.  Look or it online also and contact and find a way to pay the hospital rather than send the girl the money.  It does have a lot of impact on them, but they talk more and in those talks I found they were not for me.
So, one last time...he wants to use the online setup...your friend has to put in the time most likely.  Just the way it is.  If he can afford it, I would suggest he find a place to live, researches it, and moves here and looks here.  There are many, MANY native women almost in every community that are available, pretty, and good people.  But then again, more of a chance he'll be stuck living near the family unless he's renting somewhere and can move after finding his soulmate.
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

Offline FastWalk

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 335
Re: A friend looking for an honest Filipina
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018, 10:52:16 PM »
Aloha,  and all that.   

It is not just difficult to find good partners from the Philippines,  it is also hard to find them any other place.  Some of us like me had such a difficult time of it that we ended up only finding on the other side of the world.

It is not as much about looking and finding as it is about self awareness.  The ladies are in charge of the relationships,  so they gonna pick, all we gotta do is present our self and take rejection a few times.  The point is to be a good catch from the viewpoint of the type of lady he his looking for. 

The girls are definitely going to be interested in money.  Good and bad ones.  Think about what the girl is ideally looking for,  a prince.  Usually prince has money and is also good and kind and handsome.  The nice thing about the Philippines is that with the exchange rate some of us middle class not handsome guys can have enough money to offset our faults so that we end up fitting into the prince formula for the lady.  It is something like 10 times the money can account for being 10 years older and not so handsome.  Easy for almost any one from western country.  Now the trick is to find a lady that will stay with you after finding out we don't have 10 times the money of the people in our own country, unless we do.  But that is rare because so many ladies would have already picked a guy like that and he would have already been caught.

Some money talk early in a new relationship contact is ok as the girls are also trying to filter..  And then how much we would invest in the exploration is variable.  A nice date with dinner and a show in many US location might cost us a couple hundred...  just for the first date.

I often hear the other side of this question when sisters or nieces are looking for a western guy, and why.  Some of it is just hilarious about what the guys tell. 

I agree with the idea of spending some time in the Philippines if it is financially possible.  I would pick a moderate sized city away from the international clubs and invest some time in a hobby.  Probably gonna be married in less than a year unless intentionally avoiding it.
“Old men do not grow wise. They grow careful.”
“Keep on rocking in the free world”

Offline BobHarding

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 66
Re: A friend looking for an honest Filipina
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2018, 12:50:05 AM »
Hey Lee2, JoeLP and Fastwalk,

Thank you all for your insight and advice. Amazing the amount of time you each took to reply to me. I appreciate it a lot!

I met my Josie on hotmail.com 19 years ago. Hotmail had a free service where people could message each other etc. I had been in the Philippines on business in the early 80's and already knew the culture and the type of Filipino I was interested in finding. It tuned out that I met a girl and we emailed back and forth for about a month when she told me she was no longer interested but wondered if I would like to know her friend. I said sure and I met Josie. A week into email exchanges with her, sight unseen, never heard her voice, I knew she was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I went to Manila, met her, met her family and 9 months later she was in the United States on a fiance' visa. I am so lucky to have 19 years with Josie.

I will keep you posted as to how my pal is doing and if he continues on. He is a devout Catholic and is looking for a girl who is also devout Catholic. He lives in St Louis, MO. -- nice guy!

Offline Lee2

  • Administrator
  • Sr Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3,384
  • Peace Keeper
Re: A friend looking for an honest Filipina
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2018, 06:10:03 AM »
I will keep you posted as to how my pal is doing and if he continues on. He is a devout Catholic and is looking for a girl who is also devout Catholic. He lives in St Louis, MO. -- nice guy!
That brings in a different aspect to the dating scene, I will message you some suggestions.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline BobHarding

  • Sr Member +
  • Sr Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 66
Re: A friend looking for an honest Filipina
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2018, 08:38:46 AM »
Thank you Lee....appreciate you!

 


bisaya, cebuano, cebuano lessons, bisaya lessons
Romantic Tagalog