Author Topic: Don't live too close to relatives  (Read 1241 times)

Offline Lee2

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #30 on: June 13, 2018, 08:01:10 PM »
Our condolences to you all. Sad to hear the terrible news. :(
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline Steve & Myrlita

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #31 on: June 13, 2018, 09:11:04 PM »
RIP  :'(

Thank you...God Bless...
Bro Steve & Sis Myrlita
Bacolod City, PH

Offline Hestecrefter

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #32 on: June 13, 2018, 10:59:13 PM »
Very sad news indeed.  My condolences.

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #33 on: June 14, 2018, 05:24:12 AM »
Deepest condolences to the family, David.
Louisville, KY USA

Offline Travelling Bob

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #34 on: June 14, 2018, 09:14:42 AM »
sorry to hear the sad news

Offline JoeLP

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #35 on: June 14, 2018, 11:53:20 AM »
Such sad news.  My condolences with the  family.
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

Offline Kurt

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #36 on: June 15, 2018, 09:50:25 AM »
My deepest condolences to your family. May your prayers be answered.  All the best, Kurt

Offline David690

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #37 on: June 15, 2018, 10:56:17 AM »
My wife is still with the family.  Her sister in law will be buried on Saturday.  Difficult times for all of us.
Many thanks again for all of your messages of support and condolences.  Truly appreciated.  Despite the sometimes differences of opinion amongst us on different subjects, one thing is clear, when the chips are down, we are united.  Thank you all.
Londoner at heart

Offline trevor

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #38 on: June 15, 2018, 05:35:43 PM »
Wow sorry to hear that David. Condolences to the family. Just asked my wife about the PCSO and she said every town in the Ph. has an office. Usually near the municipal buildings. I am sure your family can get some financial help from them.

To Joel, you are welcome. Hope no one have to use them but good to know.
Never look down on anyone and always extend a helping hand. Tomorrow the role may be reverse.
Life is what you make it. Nothing to do with luck.

Offline Sam218

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #39 on: October 08, 2018, 09:57:37 AM »
Hi guys,
About 5 years ago my wife told me she want to build a retirement home in Cebu, so we started looking for land there and we found a perfect lot near her family and we bought the lot and had a house built. The whole process took about a year and half. We built a one floor ranch because we don't want to walk up and down the stairs when we get old.

Right now my brother in-law and his family live there and I'm glad that they do because they keep an eye on the house, they keep the property clean, so far so good with them, I don't have any problem with them and thankful that they stay there .

We visit Cebu about once a year and stay in my house with them because it's a big place, 4 bedrooms, 3 cr's, 2 kitchens. when we are there we get lots of visitors almost everyday mostly cousins, nieces and nephews . We always give them gifts from the US. Most people are very good, they are happy with what we give them. But because we stay so close to them, they come regularly and some complain about how they don't have enough to eat, they have big families, it makes me feel bad so we end up give them money everyday. Some borrowed money but they never paid back. I had to tell them if you borrow you have to pay back no matter how small it is, it's the principle .

My advice to you guys is never build your retirement home too close to your wife's family, it could create problems.       

Anyone here in the same situation ?

   


Filipinos are family oriented so it is typical to give back to your family. So if you are well off or got a good job, some family members or relatives will likely ask or expect a sort of financial support or help from you. But if they are asking for too much, learn how to say No. You don't have to always give them a fish. Sometimes, it's much better if you will teach them how to fish.






Offline M.C.A.

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #40 on: October 08, 2018, 07:39:44 PM »

Filipinos are family oriented so it is typical to give back to your family. So if you are well off or got a good job, some family members or relatives will likely ask or expect a sort of financial support or help from you. But if they are asking for too much, learn how to say No. You don't have to always give them a fish. Sometimes, it's much better if you will teach them how to fish.

My two decades experience with the in-laws would be never to give them any money, fancy foods or our foods and never take them out to the restaurant, there's no nice way to say no they are experts at making you feel guilty, cheap or mean you can't win other than don't share.
My views would be from someone who lives out in the province close to in-laws on a pension.  Norwegian and French heritage.

Offline Sam218

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Re: Don't live too close to relatives
« Reply #41 on: October 12, 2018, 08:20:59 AM »
My two decades experience with the in-laws would be never to give them any money, fancy foods or our foods and never take them out to the restaurant, there's no nice way to say no they are experts at making you feel guilty, cheap or mean you can't win other than don't share.

Some Filipinos may really be like that but through time talking and befriending many Filipino families, there are still those who never take advantage or ask for anything from their well-off relatives (and that includes their in-laws). Once you gave them something voluntarily, they will repay it with gratitude.

 


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