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The complete centrality
of family life and the importance of family loyalty,
obligation, and interdependence are previously described.
These values are supported by a family structure and
kinship ties that reflect the multicultural Pilipino
heritage. Having withstood Hispanic Catholic influence,
the ancient Malay tradition of equality between men and
women translates into a bilateral extended kinship system.
Both the mother's and father's lineages are of equal
importance. Thus, for example, names may be inherited
through the male line or both the father's and mother's
family name; it is not unusual for the mother's maiden
name to be given as a child's middle name. Inheritance
patterns further call for equal division between daughters
and sons (Aquino, 1981; UPAC, 1980).
Although expanded through bilateral lineage, the
extended family system is further enlarged
by the compadrazgo system, a legacy of Spanish
colonial Catholicism. In addition to relatives by blood
and marriage, each Pilipino gains relatives through
godparent rituals and ceremonies. Typically, more wealthy
and powerful acquaintances close friend or neighbor of the
natural parent is called on to serve as a godparent (known
as ninong or ninang to the child) and as
surrogate parental relationship to the child by virtue of
acting as a sponsor at the religious rites of baptism,
confirmation, and marriage. Godparents or compadres
also assume more active roles as benefactors who may be
expected to participate in their godly socialization,
oversee his or her religious education, assist in times of
financial need, contribute to the cost of the child's
education and assist in finding him or her employment. In
addition to compadres, landlords and employers may
further be viewed as surrogate parents to adult family
members ; thus, other social institutions and
relationships also become incorporated into the extended
family system. The compadrazgo system extends and
binds family ties, loyalties, obligations, reciprocity,
and interdependence among people in the community (Agbayani-Siewert
& Revilla, 1995). Through this expanded network of kinship
relationships, a is likely to consider 100 or more
individuals as "relatives" (FAFEF, 1982; Santos, 1983;
Yap, 1982).
The extended family is, in effect, the basic unit of
Philippine society. Within given households, nuclear
families average six to eight members in size. Unmarried
adult daughters and sons typically remain in their
parents' home and contribute to family support. Additional
extended family members such as grandparents, aunts,
uncles, or cousins also may live in the same house and
assume vital roles (Almirol, 1982; PAFEF, 1982; Santos,
1983). Unfortunately, for increasing numbers of
Filipino-Americans, the role of extended family in the
Philippines has become that of caregivers for problem
adolescents who are sent back "home" to live with them.
Lack of parental supervision (with two parents working
full time), the need for economic survival, and the stress
of acculturation have compelled many parents to remove
their teenagers' from the home and draw on the family
support system in the Philippines (Agbayani-Siewert,
1991).
The
information below may be interesting to you. To have
family values, you must have a family. Here are the
customs in place in the province for courtship and
marriage.
Courtship and Marriage Rites in the Philippine Provinces feature originally came out.
Perhaps
of all customs and rituals, none is as important to a
society as courtship and marriage. For it is in these
events that a culture secures its continuity. Ties are
created, where previously there were none. Families clans
are united. And through the observance of traditional
courtship, the individuals find a bond, not only to each
other, but to generations past... ancestors who have lived
and loved and forged relationships in like manner.
This
page takes us through the different kinds of courtship
practiced in the Philippines today, culminating in the
grand wedding. The nuances of these customs vary from
region to region yet all of them are marked by a heady
mix of enigma and excitement, nervousness and negotiation,
ceremony and celebration.
• Olog
The Betrothal House
Ifugao, Mountain Province
There
is a practice among the Ifugaos of northern Luzon
of segregating "marriageable" girls in a communal abode
called "Olog" or "Agamang". (The
marriageable boys are accommodated in another communal
house called the "Ato".) The boys from the "Ato"
regularly visit the "Olog" and performed the first
stage of courtship known as the "Ca-i-sing". They
unburden their feelings in native songs rich in meanings
and insinuation. The girls respond likewise in native
verse. All these are done under the watchful eye of the "Olog"
head an elderly and married woman or a childless widow
who keeps the parents of her wards informed of the
developments of the courtship.
The practice, unique to our Northern Mountain Tribes
is also known as "Ebgan" (Kalinga) or "Pangis"
(Tingguian).
• Tapat
Courtship Through Poetry and Song
Ilocos province
"Tapat"
is practiced in small towns of Ilocos. A young man employs
music and verse to declare his attraction to his lady
love. The would be suitor (sometimes with a friend in tow
for moral support) goes to the girl's house and serenade
her from her window. The lady then answers in a song
usually one that suggests that the man has a long
courtship ahead of him. The man then counters with another
song this time more passionate. The musical repartee goes
on and on until an "understanding" is reached.
This practice is also known "harana" in the Tagalog
regions. Among the Maranaos, the practice is known
as "Tubad-tubad" wherein playful verses are
exchanged between the two would be lovers.
•
Bisperas
The Eve of the Wedding
Province of Batangas
This
is an old custom peculiar to Batangas. The day before the
wedding, an entourage consisting of the groom's parents,
relatives, "abays", "ninangs" and "ninongs",
and others concerned with the wedding walk in a procession
from the groom's house to the bride's house. The purpose
of this journey is to deliver all the ingredients to be
used in preparation of the wedding feast. Everything from
the cows and chickens, to the vegetables and rice, down to
the condiments and the cutlery are carried in the
procession. Upon arrival at the bride's house,
refreshments are served. Then the elaborate preparations
for the reception will be proceed thereafter.
•
Pamalaye
The Formal Proposal
Province of Cebu
Among
the traditional Cebuanos, the asking of the girl's
hand in marriage is no simple matter. The entire family of
the man troops the girl's home, bringing with them
musicians, Gifts food and wine. The discussions regarding
the marriage are deputized to a "Mamamae" and a "Sagang"
whose main qualifications are great skill in the art of
debate and rebuttal. They represent the interest of both
families and are empowered to make binding contracts
regarding the dowry. The reaching of an agreement between
the families is the high point of this custom called the "Pamalaye",
and lavish festivities ensue.
Among the Ilocanos, this is known as "Tampa"
or, the more formal arrangement, the "Danon". To
the Tagalogs, it is "Pamanhikan". It is "Pasaguli"
to the Palaweños and "Kapamalai" to the
Maranaos.
•
Pangagad
Bride Service
Province of Leyte
In
Leyte, in lieu of paying a dowry, a Filipino man wishing
to wed into a traditional family is expected to perform
household service to the bride's family as proof of his
sincerity and fortitude. This can include anything from
fetching water and chopping firewood, working in the farm
as well as running household errands. This usually lasts
about one year. This is more of a test period as the
rendering of the "pangagad" still does not
guarantee irrevocable acceptance of the marriage proposal.
Thus, it is appropriately known as "Paninilbihan"
(being of service) or "Subok" (trial) to the
Tagalogs. In Bicol, it is called the "Pamianan".
•
Pangalay
The Wedding
Tausug
Of all
social events, perhaps none is more elaborate than a
wedding. And of all Filipino weddings, perhaps none is as
full of color, splendor and pageantry as a Tausog
wedding. On the eve of the affair, a cacophony of native
percussion instruments "agong", "kulingtang"and
"gabbang" announce the impending wedding. Everyone
in the village, young and old, are invited. The ceremony
proper is performed by an "Imam" or Muslim priest.
After readings from the "Koran", the groom puts his
"fingerprint" on the forehead of the bride. This gesture
formally seals the marriage. Like all weddings lavish
feasting, singing, dancing and marry making ensue. And the
entire tribe celebrates the joy and love and life.
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