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Infancy/Toddlerhood
In the Pilipino
culture, the birth of children is an expected and desired outcome of marriage.
Most couples prefer to have children of both sexes, and there is typically no
special preference for males over females. Children are considered a special
"gift from God," and a large family is proof of God's favor and blessing
(Guthrie & Jacobs, 1966). The newborn child's vulnerability contributes to the
use of folk practices by many Filipina mothers, such as keeping garlic and salt
near the baby to protect him or her from evil spirits, pinning religious medals
on a baby's clothing to offer the protection of angels, wrapping a 50 cents coin
on the baby's umbilicus with a belly band to make it heal faster, and avoiding
exposing the infant to the bright colors to prevent strabismus. A baby's clothes
are loose and comfortable and preferably white in color to symbolize the purity
God gives to every newborn (Affonso, 1978).
Most Filipina women do not take their newborns out of the house until 3 or 4
weeks of age; the first trip is usually to the doctor and the second to the
priest for a blessing or conditional baptism. Many Pilipino families postpone
formal baptism until the baby is 1-3 months old, when the parents have raised
enough money for a baptismal party, which is second in importance only to the
marriage feast. Before a baptism, parents choose a Christian name for the infant
and select godparents (who help pay for the baptism and give the child gifts).
Children are almost always named for the saint on whose feast day they were
either born or baptized; babies can also be named by combining or contracting
parent's names and the names of favorite relatives or friends (PAPEP, 1982).
Infancy is characterized by indulgence; constant attention; and few, if any, demands on the
child. The child is frequently cuddled and carried, and crying (even the tiniest
whimper) is attended to quickly by feeding, holding, and other consoling
tactics. This practice is made possible or easier by the presence of extended
family (who can assume significant care giving roles) and/or the availability of
inexpensive domestic help in the Philippines (Church, 1986; Yap, 1982). The
Pilipino infant/toddler is thus the center of household attention and constantly
cared for by a family member or a maid. Because the young child is never alone,
he or she may be several years old before having a first experience of being
temporarily unsupervised (Guthrie & Jacobs, 1966).
The emphasis on dependency and physical closeness is further manifested in
breastfeeding on demand until a child is as old as
2 years of age and sleeping with parents and, later, with siblings for an
extended period of time. The process of toilet training is yet another occasion
for helpfulness and closeness for the child. It involves imitation of and
assistance from other family members. Because of this assistance, very few
children are fully toilet trained before the age of 2 years and may be as old as
4 years (PAPEP, 1982; Santiago, 1981). Thus, throughout infancy and the toddler
period, child rearing is characterized by significant indulgence,
protectiveness, gradual training for responsibility, and minimal adult anxiety
about early performance (Church, 1986)
Harmony
Group identity is reinforced through
the creation and maintenance of sustained, secure interpersonal
relationships and a system of support and cooperation among group
members. The goal of preserving harmony between individuals, among
family members, and among the groups and divisions of society is
embodied in the dominant cultural value of "smooth interpersonal
relationships" (SIR), which permeates and guides the daily lives and
behaviors of Filipinos. SIR are primarily supported by four basic
Filipino values that have continued to be reported in the literature
since the 1960s. Several well known studies conducted at that time
focused on the concepts of pakikisama, hiya,
amor propio, and utang na loob.
Pakikisama represents both a value and a goal that consists of maintaining good
feelings in all personal interactions and getting along with others at
all costs. Achieving SIR may take precedence over clear communication
and accomplishing a particular task. To avoid open displays of
conflict and stressful confrontations, Filipinos may yield to group
opinion (even if it contradicts their own desires), lavish extravagant
praise on one another, use metaphorical language rather than frank
terms, hide negative feelings or depressed spirits beneath a pleasant
demeanor, smile when things go wrong, avoid saying "no," and refrain
from expressing anger or losing their temper (Guthrie, 1968; Harper &
Fullerton, 1994). Pakikisama also is pursued by showing
sensitivity to hiya and amor propio.
Hiya,
although
commonly translated as "shame," has been further described as a
feeling of "inferiority, embarrassment, shyness, and alienation which
is experienced as acutely distressing" (Guthrie, 1968, p. 62). It is
integrally related to the concept of "face" and a preoccupation with
how one appears in the eyes of others. Hiya is inculcated as a
necessary part of a child's development and used as a means to shape
approved or desired behaviors. Thus, an individual's capacity for
appropriate behavior with authority figures is a reflection of one's
family and upbringing and the fear of "losing face" (PAPEP, 1982).
This profound
concern for "face" further derives from the value of amor propio.
Although literally translated as "self-respect" or "self-esteem,"
amor propio has been characterized as "the high degree of
sensitivity that makes a person intolerant to criticism and causes him
to have an easily wounded pride" (Union of Pan Asian Communities [UPAC],
1980, p. 42). Filipinos learn to withstand a "loss of face" in some
situations, particularly when they perceive themselves to be at fault,
but it is devastating to be publicly criticized, insulted, belittled,
or humiliated, or to lose one's self-respect. It thus becomes
essential to behave in ways that will ensure that everyone's
"face" and amor propio are not threatened (Gochenour, 1990).
The
previously described value of utang na loob also is an integral
aspect of maintaining group harmony and relationships that require the
balancing of obligations and debts. Utang na loob binds the
individuals involved more closely, in contrast to the
typically "American" orientation in which the discharge of a personal
obligation tends to liberate or release the individual to go on being
him or herself (Gochenour, 1990). As one of the most important facets
of Philippine life, group acceptance is contingent on loyalty and
devotion. The services of friendship are thus always reciprocal and
safeguarded by these value systems (UPAC, 1980).
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(Alternatives concepts and Other
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