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It is believed that young
people should not marry before they have completed some
kind of educational preparation for a career so that
they will be economically self-sufficient. They also
should be sufficiently mature to assume the
responsibilities of raising a family. The typical age
for marriage is thus 20-25 years for Filipino women and
25-30 years for men. Once married, Filipinos are
expected to start their families within a year or so.
The birth of a child fixes the ties between the married
couple's respective families. The bond of marriage also
is considered permanent; Catholicism and Philippine law
prohibit divorce except among Muslims and some
unassimilated groups (PAPEP, 1982).
Although the father may be ostensibly perceived as the
main authority figure in the nuclear family, the mother
has considerable authority and influence. She generally
controls the finances, may work full time (even with
many children at home), and earns as much as or more
than half the family income. Women enjoy high status in
the family and in the society at large. Bilateral
lineage attests to this higher status of Filipinas
compared with women in more patriarchal Asian countries.
The long accepted phenomenon of the "working mother" in
the Philippines thus does not pose a drastic role change
as it does for other recent Asian immigrant families in
the United States (PAPEP, 1982).
Egalitarian roles and relationships between men and
women are further reflected in family decision making
processes. Family authority is based on respect for age,
regardless of sex. Family decisions are made only after
a consensus has been reached to ensure that the ultimate
decision will be representative of and acted on by all
family members. Family disagreements are avoided, if
possible; when disagreements do occur, they are kept
strictly within the family (PAPEP, 1982). Children are the center of the parent's concerns. They
are viewed as an extension of the family and recipients
of the family's good fortune. Many adults may assume
responsibility for a child within a family but do not
strictly adhere to the Confucian expectation of
unquestioning child obedience. Parents are expected to
persuade a child to accept their point of view, rather
than impose their authority on the child without
consideration for the child's preferences or wishes. The
child, in turn, is expected to show proper respect and
obedience, to compromise, and to maintain good
relationships with all other family members (PAPEP,
1982).
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