PROFILE OF A FILIPINO
The people of the Philippines are called Filipinos.
Their ancestor, who were of Malay stock, came from the
Southeastern Asian mainland as well as from what is now
Indonesia. From the 10th century, contacts with China
resulted in a group of mixed Filipino-Chinese descent
who account for a minority of the population. A small
percentage of Chinese nationals also live in he
country, Spanish-Filipinos and Filipino-American may be
distinguish by their fairer complexion, taller stature,
and aquiline nose structure. The relatively small
numbers of migrants from the Indian subcontinent added
to the population's racial mixture. The aboriginal
inhabitants of the islands were the Negritos, or Phymies,
also called Aaetas or Balugas; they now constitute only
a small percentage of the total population.
The Philippines has varied land
forms such as plains, mountains, hill, plateaus, and
swamps. There are the vast plains of Central Luzon, the
soaring landscape of the Mountain Province, the green
tropical countryside of the Southern Tagalog provinces,
the teeming forests of Mindanao and almost everywhere,
islands, surrounded by blue waters and seashores with
sparkling white sands.
The Filipino People,
possesses a unique culture, customs and traditions a
combinations of the eastern and western cultures.
FILIPINO WOMEN
In A Study of
Psychopathology, Filipino psychiatrist Lourdes V, Lapus
writes: ‘The Filipino culture, for all the increasing
signs and protests to the contrary, still has a large
hangover from its ego-idea for women of many bygone
years. This is the so-called Maria Clara” image of a
woman who is shy, demure, modest, self-effacing, and
loyal to the end. The openly provocative, sexually
aggressive female who is frequently associated with the
American female image is still comparatively rare in
Filipino culture....'
Filipinas generally strive to portray the Maria
Clara’ image and frown on aggressive displays by women.
An aggressive woman, which description includes one who
is open and mixes freely with men, is considered
sexually ‘loose’. Cultural norms favor the demure,
modest female when it comes to personal, social or
business relationships with men. Social inferiority is
not implied. The Filipina enjoys equality with men in
many areas, notably in professional, business and career
areas.
To understand the Filipina, one must look at the
different roles she takes in society. As she goes
through life, the Filipina may take he roles of
daughter, sister, dalaga or young woman, wife, mother,
mistress, professional, employer, employee, etc. The
first few roles will be discussed in more detail as they
are more firmly entrenched in tradition and probably
influence the more modem roles that a
Filipina faces.
The Daughter
Due to the
importance of the family in Filipino culture, it is
impressed every individual from childhood that parents
are owed a debt of gratitude for bringing one into this
world. (This is balanced by the belief and tradition
that parents should make sacrifices for their their
children because they brought them into the world.)
Obedience to tents and to older siblings is taught early
and enforced until adulthood, whereupon it becomes one’s
sense of obligation.
Children never attain equal footing with parents;
parents are Sys treated with respect and the debt of
gratitude is a lifetime t Children are expected to serve
their parents until their death.
rough this system the older citizens are provided and
cared for. tie is no need for nursing homes or homes for
the aged. In fact, putting one’s parents in such a home
would reflect badly on the individual and incur hiya.
One would be labeled a bad son or daughter who does not
love one’s parents—probably the greatest sin the eyes of
Philippine society.
For the Filipino daughter, mother serves as the
first model. She has a great impact in a society where
role modeling is the main process operating in the
learning of sex roles. This factor together with the
cultural dynamics described above, plus the prolonged
physical and emotional nurture received from the mother,
creates a special bond between mother and daughter.
Greater service is usually expected from the
daughter than from the son when it comes to satisfying a
mother’s needs. On the daughter’s part, mother is the
first person she turns to in times of trouble and she is
the first source of knowledge on household and family
matters.
Ate:
The Sister
Sisters play a very important role in Philippine
families, especially older sisters. An older sister is
called Ate by her siblings. Ate is responsible for the
younger children and she may bathe, dress and feed them.
This is necessary in large families where the mother
cannot look after all the children. Older children are
taught early that it is their duty to help take care of
younger brothers and sisters. This provides them with
training and experience in housewifely and motherly
duties. The oldest girl assumes this role as soon as the
second or third child comes along and not necessarily
when she reaches a certain age. It is not uncommon to
see a small child carrying a younger brother or sister
who is more than half her size.
Her role of ‘deputy mother’ commands Ate the
respect of her younger siblings who look to her for
advice in personal matters. They are expected to obey
her just as they do their mother, because she is there
to look after their best interests. She may serve as an
intermediary between them and their parents particularly
in large families where some of the children are not as
close to their parents or where parents are rather
strict. In the event of the parents’ death, it is she
who takes over the responsibility of keeping the family
together.
Dalaga: The Young Woman
The role of the dalaga or young woman, like other roles,
is delineated by society. The code of ethics is learned
via role modeling and by direct instructions from
parents and teachers (e.g. young girls are often told
girls should sit with their legs together’). Behavior is
controlled by teasing, by gossip and the fear of being
the subject of malicious gossip.
Society expects a young woman to conduct herself
with decorum and to appear modest and shy, especially
among men. She should never flaunt her sexuality
otherwise she will be labeled a ‘flirt’ and considered
sexually ‘loose’.
Perhaps the most complicated aspect of her role
is the part she plays in courtship. Courtship in the
Philippines is a game which parties (young men and
women) enjoy tremendously. The young lady is supposed to
play ‘hard to get’; she should not show great an
interest in a man, some even going to the point of ding
total disinterest. How hard a time she gives her suitor
increases her worth in his and in others’ eyes.
Young men go all out in courting a girl. They
send her flowers, her presents and ring her up every
night. A young man’s Inn is measured by such overtures.
A girl does not usually say ‘yes’ to the first
invitation from a new suitor. He may have to ask several
limes before she agrees to go out with him. Her first
few Is are not taken as rejections but rather
interpreted to mean she is playing hard to get. The
disadvantage of this system is that a real ton ma) not
be detected and some men are very persistent!
The men try to outdo each other in sweet talk or
bola which may best be translated as ‘bull’. Corny lines
and clichés such as ‘you are the only in my life’ and’ I
dream of you every night’ flow freely.
Since these lines are used on many different girls
they lose a bit of their sincerity and when a girl is
taken in by them the young man boasts to his friends
that she was kagat an kagat which, loosely translated,
means ‘she realty hit into it’—ie., she took the hail—
hook, line and sinker.
This sometimes backfires on a young man when he
meets a girl he really cares about who warily regards
his now sincere remarks as merely bola. Young ladies are
thus faced with the challenge of how to tell when a guy
is ‘making bola’. As with all boy-girl relationship
there are many who get hurt. But it’s all a game and if
you lose one round there’s always a chance you’ll win
the next one.
The
Wife
The Filipino wife is a
victim of double standards imposed by society. The
responsibility of keeping a marriage together is usually
placed on her so she does not get much sympathy if she
complains of her husband’s transgressions. A wife who
complains openly or speaks will of her husband is not
respected by society because family failings are
supposed to be kept within the family. To speak badly of
your husband and broadcast his weaknesses is to degrade
your own family, thus breaking the first rule in the
Filipino code of ethics.
In Philippine society it is not uncommon for a
man to have mistress or mistresses—it is accepted and
considered a symbol of masculinity. The wife is expected
to tolerate this. Furthermore, she is often given the
blame in such situations. One will hear people ‘It’s
probably because so-and-so doesn’t fix herself properly
after his needs’, etc. It is the wife’s responsibility
to do something about it. Confronting the husband and/or
his mistress is not ‘cry effective and does not get her
much sympathy. The best strategy for her is to try to
win him back by being attentive and looking her best for
him. Using this strategy in earnest will also gain her
the support and sympathy of the people around her. Once
she obtains this, the battle is half won, for with the
support of mutual friends and relatives, the husband may
be pressured to give up his mistress or at least be more
attentive to his wife.
A good wife by Filipino standards is one who looks
after the best interests of her husband, who gives him
emotional and perhaps material support and who manage
the household and children efficiently. The husband does
not usually concern himself with the children until they
are in their teens-whereupon he is called in to give a
hand with discipline. There are no restrictions on wives
working, as long as they do not neglects the duties
outlined above. Most wives in Manila have some sort of
business on the side and there are many who works as
professionals.
The advantage of having servants to run the
household is exploited to the fullest. This is one of
the great attractions living in the Philippines provides
women. The lifestyle offers many good opportunities for
women to fulfill themselves. Dr. Lapux, in Filipino
Marriages in Crisis, states:' Despite her seemingly
second-rate status in the marriage, the Filipino wife
has a large sphere of influence. She is close
emotionally to the children than her husband is and she
is intimately involved in their growth and
development-for the longest time. In crucial areas of
home life,e.g. child-rearing, breadwinning, and even in
deciding the husband 's choice of friends, she subtly
or pointedly wields her wifely intentions to keep
husband, home, and children in good condition, and to
foster family advancement, she can do almost anything.'
Querida: The Mistress
The role played
by the mistress is essentially also that of wife and
mother. In many cases the mistress is preferred over the
wife because the former is a better wife to a man than
the latter. There is usually much rivalry between her
and the wife, not on bedroom matters, but on who cooks
better and who takes better care of the husband.
The Filipino mistress is really more like a
second wife and is regarded as such by her partner.
Often she has children by him whom he supports and
considers as important as his legitimate children. Many
Filipinos have two or more support them all. Of course
these families are not recognized by the predominantly
Catholic society but the mistress still considers
herself as her partner's wife and claim rights over him
which naturally gives rise to conflicts with the
legitimate wife.
The Mother
Children are of great
importance in family-oriented Philippine culture. They
form the link that binds the wife's family to the
husband's. They also present opportunities for extending
kin relations through the compadrazco system. Hence,
Filipinas expect and are expected to have children once
they marry.
The role of mother is probably the most
important role a Filipina will assume in the course of
her life. Since the mother is in charge of household
matters and responsibility of the children lies mainly
with her , she is in a position of power. This power is
not to be underestimated considering that kinship
dynamics is the central propitiating force in
Philippines society, as illustrated by the prevalence of
nepotism in many areas.
Her power comes from the sense of obligation to
parents instilled in children. There is also from
another factor that comes into it- the sense of
belonging and ownership which characterizes Filipino
relationships. In Study of Psychopathology, Dr Lapuz
state:' A person grows up in the Filipino culture with
one paramount assumption: that he belongs to someone.
When he presents his self to others, it is with his
family that he is identified. He belongs to the family
as a whole as well as to it's members.' She goes on to
say: ' Between the parents, there is a further choice as
to whom one belongs. Almost always, it is the mother.
The loyalty, allegiance and the sense of obligation are
stronger with her than with farther. One must never
cause her hurt or displeasure . The greater attachment
to the mother is , of course, inevitable not only
because of biological circumstances , but also because
of the prolonged intense emotional nurturing of
received from her. Here is where to belong gains the
meaning of to loved ,cared for, and protected.'
The 'ownership ' type of relationship gives the
mother certain rights over the child. For example , she
believes she has the right to know her children' s
private thought and thus encourage the confiding of
problems and secrets. While she does this with the
intention of guiding their thinking and advising them
properly, there may also be an unconscious or perhaps
subconscious wish to make them emotionally dependent on
her, thus giving her a greater hold on them. A mother
also has the right to advise her children who in turn
are taught to take such advice meekly because it is
given in their interest.
George M. Guthrie and Pepita Jimenez Jacobs did
a cross-cultural study on child-rearing entitled Child
Rearing and Personality Development in the Philippines.
They compared their findings with those of Sears,
Maccoby and Levin on the patterns of child-rearing among
American mothers. Some of the more obvious and important
differences they report are: Filipino mothers are more
lenient and permissive about feeding intervals, weaning
and toilet-training than their American counterparts;
American mothers use denial of privileges, threats of
loss of love, and physical punishment to enforce
obedience, while Filipino mothers are more likely to
punish physically, scold, or bribe; American mothers do
not as a rule share are surrounded by many adults who
share in the responsibility of their upbringing.
Some differences between the two cultures were
attributed to environment but most appear to have
stemmed from dissimilar cultural emphasis. For example,
the child-rearing practices of Filipino mothers are
directed and determined by the cultural emphasis on the
importance of the family and smooth interpersonal
relations. The difference in emphasis in Philippines and
American culture is expressed succinctly in the
following statement by Guthrie and Jacobs: "The
Philippine ideal is not self-sufficiency and
independence but rather family sufficiency and refined
sense of reciprocity.' This was demonstrated quite
clearly in their study on Philippine parental attitudes
towards their children. They make the following comment
in their discussion of their finding:" Parents do not
express the hope that their children will be ambitious
or show great achievements. There is no mention of child
becoming rich or famous. On the contrary, they stress
the hope that their child will heed family values.'
Although the
upbringing of Filipino children may be shared by others
in the family, the main responsibility lies with the
mother. While the others may play with them or help them
dress, ect., it is the mother who disciplines them. Her
role is acknowledged by society and consequently it is
she who receives the credit when they grow up to be good
members of the community , and the blame when they fail.
Filipinos believe that children's behavior reflects
their parents' attitudes. Hence the mother places
paramount importance on the task of instilling the
cultural values of the family sufficiency and pakikisama,
the ability to get along smoothly with others.
The role of the mother does not end upon the
marriage of her children. Although it is diminished,
she still remains a powerful figure in the life of her
children. She can influence major decisions such as
choosing curtains for the kitchen or the baby's room.
When grandchildren arrives she inevitably has to have a
say in the baptismal celebrations or at least know
everything concerning the child. This often gives rise
to conflict between a wife and her mother-in-law, a
situation not uncommon in Philippine society. In such
situations the husband is always caught in the middle.
He must never openly go against his mother because it
is his duty first and foremost to be a good son. On the
other hand he cannot ignore his wife's complaints and
may often sympathize with her. Yet he is powerless to do
anything and, although the wife complains to him and
wants him to intervene, she knows he cannot and never
will. She will also never openly defy or confront her
mother-in-law.
There is usually a great effort on the wife's
part to get along with her mother-in-law. In Filipino
Marriages in Crisis, Dr. Lapuz comments:' It is a
attribute, dubious perhaps, to the Filipino
daughter-in-law that she continues to want to be liked
by her husband's mother. ' Part of the reason for this
is the power the mother-in-law wields over her son. Good
relations with the mother-in-law ensures support, both
material and emotional, which naturally would make life
easier for the wife/daughter-in-law. It is important to
understand the unique position in which the Filipino
daughter-in-law is placed in a situation which occurs
across many different cultures. Because of it, she mat
not respond in the way her American or European
counterparts would.
Matandang Dalaga: The
spinster
The Filipino
spinster or matandang dalaga is not a liberated
individual, free from responsibilities. Although she
does not have her own family of procreation (husband and
children), she is still tied to her family of
orientation (parents, brothers, and sisters, aunts,
uncles, ect.), and she has duties and obligations of
them. She may live with one of her brothers or sisters,
serving them in the form of assisting in household
management, or she may continue to live with her
parents, serving them looking after them in their old
age. There is also a position set aside for her in her
local church - she is in charge of its upkeep and
maintenance. Hence she has a definite role in the family
and society. In this way she feels she 'belongs' to
someone and her family keeps her from getting lonely.
There is some social stigma attached to
spinsters, though. Because of the great emphasis
attached to getting married and having children, most
Filipinos do not understand how a women can be over 30
or 35 and still be unmarried. The only reason they can
think of is that she did not receive any offers. Hence
the matandang dalaga is seen as someone who was' left on
the shelf'.
Often the Filipina will be playing any number
of the above roles at the same time and these ease with
which she moves from one to the other as the situations
for them arise is truly a skill she must be credited
with. They key to it all is to always think' Family
First.'
One other role assumed by Filipino women is
that of keeper of family virtues. Older Filipinas
consider it their duty to keep the family’s reputation
in good stead and thus have no qualms about giving their
opinions on what is right and wrong regarding behavior,
attitudes, quarrels and conflicts which concern or
directly reflect on the family. Through them, deviant
behavior is controlled and curtailed via direct
confrontations and/or intermediaries.
Finally, a note on the Filipina’s remarkable
skill as an entrepreneur, Almost every Filipino wife is
involved in some business ‘on the side’—whether it be a
small store, a kiosk selling drinks and snacks, selling
paintings through friends and contacts, a cake shop or
perhaps accepting orders at home, selling ‘PX’ goods,
etc what’s more, doing very well at it. Many big
businesses are n by Filipino women. Filipinas figure
prominently in the business world. To give some
examples: the Philippine Women’s University was founded
by a Filipina and is still run efficiently by Filipinas;
one of Makita’s biggest and most popular department
stores is owned and managed by a Filipina; the two
biggest bookstore chains are owned and were built up by
two Filipina sisters.
Aside from their ability in managing businesses,
Filipinas can also be powerful figures in the
background, holding true the saying ‘Behind every great
man is a woman’. In the case of the Filipino it is a
wife or a mother. The Filipina is very adept at social
maneuvers and many a husband’s career has been furthered
through socialization channels, an aspect which is of
unequalled importance in Philippine business. In the
Philippines how well you perform at work is of less
importance than how well you get along with others. So
to get anywhere in the business world (or in any other
area for that matter), it is imperative that you be a
good socialize. That is where the Filipino wife and/or
mother can be very useful and effective.
FILIPINO MEN
Regarding the
Filipino male, Dr Lapis states that ‘the ego-ideal for
men is that of one who is cool, cautious, inoffensive,
pleasant, relaxed to the point of being rather
easygoing, incapable of anger except when his
amor-propio ... is provoked. His masculinity is
definitely and emphatically regarded as intrinsic to
this narcissism (self-esteem). Of this masculinity he is
quite conscious and proud, and will emphasize it in many
subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Outside of this
ego-ideal, the Filipino male may appear to some, and in
particular to foreigners, as not being masculine enough.
He tends to be fastidious about his appearance,
particularly his hair and clothes, to have soft and
graceful movements. With strangers and in some
unfamiliar situations, he may tend to say very little
and act even less, which is the antithesis of the
American male’s tendency to quickly state his identity
and give his opinion. The Filipino will be quiet and
will strive to be inoffensive in situations where an
American would feel obliged to be more vociferous.’
This description presents the outward or surface
differences between Filipinos and Westerners, those
noticed first. Psychological and personality
differences, which are less noticeable in the first Sow
interactions, are harder to recognize and grasp. To get
a deeper insight into the Filipino male personality, it
is necessary to look at the different roles he plays,
because much of his behavior and attitudes is determined
by the duties which accompany each role. Some of the
more important roles he plays are described here.
The
Son
The role of the
Filipino son or. more specifically, the role of a ‘good’
Filipino son is placed above all the other male role It
is more important to be a good son than a good father or
a good husband. Filipinos stress the importance of
remembering your past, where you came from and what your
parents have done for you.
The farmer’s lad who becomes a rich and famous
doctor will buy his parents a nice house in the city or,
if they don’t want to move, will visit them once a week
and give material support, possibly expanding the farm
into a great hacienda. If his parents put hint through
medical school, he owes them even more. Being a doctor
he would have to personally see to his parents whenever
they need any medical aid. (He also becomes the personal
physician of the rest of the family—by the Filipino
definition of the word, a service for which he never
charges and which is often a personal inconvenience.)
His great accomplishments as a doctor are nothing if he
does not perform his duties as a son. First he must be a
good son. Then, and only then, may he be successful.
Unlike American and other Western cultures, where
sons are pushed to early autonomy, independence is not a
matter of urgency. In some cases it is not an issue at
all. Sons are not expected to leave the family home,
fend for themselves and find their own place in life.
They are expected to help their parents on the farm or
in the family business when they are old enough while
continuing to live off, and with, their parents.
It is when the son himself attempts autonomy and
independence, - that commotion arises. Such a move is
interpreted by the parents to mean he does not like
living with them. The parents take a what’s-
wrong-with-us-don’t-you-love-us-anymore attitude. They
also worry that the neighbors will think they cannot
support their children, marking them as parent failures.
Most Filipino sons live with their parents until they
get married. Where a son leaves school early to get a
job, it would be because the father is unable to support
the family due to illness or death, or his pay is
inadequate to cover the cost involved in bringing up a
large family. It is usually the eldest son who is
assigned this duty.
Note the cultural difference here: the American
boy leaves home to get a job to support himself thus
lightening his father’s burden; the Filipino boy leaves
home to get a job in the city so he can support not only
his parents but all his brothers and sisters. You will
find many drivers, maids, salesgirls. etc. in Manila who
are working so they can put their younger brothers and
sisters through school.
The difference in cultural emphasis—autonomy
(American) vs. dependence (Filipino}—is illustrated by
Dr Lapis’s example: ‘In American culture, parents force
autonomy upon their offspring at an early age with early
severance of dependency ties. It is not unusual, for
example, to see young people with moneyed parents
working in order to have money of their own. In the
Philippines, if a boy has parents with money, it hardly
occurs to him to work. Sons are expected to grow up
loyal to their parents, look after them, help younger
siblings and generally be unselfish.’
The
Adolescent Male
Young Filipinos have a
long adolescence. They enjoy a long ‘period of
immunity’—a time when adolescents can get away with
childish, irresponsible behavior because they are not
yet considered adults and therefore not expected to
behave accordingly. Most Filipino boys remain dependent
on their parents until they marry or at least finish
their schooling, which for the majority is at the
completion of law or five years of tertiary education.
As most Filipino boys do not have to work their way
through college, they have a lot of time to spend with
friends. Peers figure largely in this phase. There is
usually a prominent peer group called barkada to
which one belongs. These cliques or bark ads are tightly
knit—the members are very close to each other and go
everywhere together. They develop their own slang, they
have private jokes. They exercise control over the
behaviour of members, mainly by teasing. There is
usually no formal leader, though there may be one or two
more respected members.
The barkada can be a powerful force. It
operates on the principles of group pressure and
conformity. For example, the group may resent a member
having a girlfriend because he is not spending as much
time with them, forcing him to choose between his
girlfriend and his barkada. Or a member may be
pressured into drinking, smoking or doing something he
would normally not approve of. Because of the Filipino
need to belong to someone, the barkada is an
essential part of an adolescent’s life. Not to belong to
any group is to feel like an outcast—loners and
individualists (those who want to be different) are
considered ‘weird’ by Filipinos. The society exerts
tremendous pressure to conform. Once one belongs to a
barkada one is ensured support and the fun of shared
experiences.
Filipinos do not like being alone, perhaps
because of the population density and the fact that from
birth they are constantly surrounded by people. They do
not like eating alone, they will not see a movie alone,
they always have to be with someone—a friend or a
relative. They do not enjoy experiences not shared wish
others. They feel uncomfortable eating beside someone
who is not, so they wilt always offer to share their
food or cajole their companion into having ‘a bit of
something The Filipino will nor try anything new alone
but with his barkada to back him up, he will.
Girls also have barkadas which perform the same
functions as those described above, the only differences
being due to differences in sex roles. Often, barkadas
of opposite sexes will go out together and this is the
usual social avenue for young people to meet.
The Husband
The role of the Filipino husband is mainly that
of breadwinner. This is the only duty he is really
expected to fulfill and his performance in this area is
what determines his success or failure as a husband (and
a father). A husband who has a mistress or querida is
accepted and tolerated by society if he can support both
his wife and mistress. A man who can support two or more
families is regarded with amazement and admiration, not
disgust, and earns a reputation for being macho.
However, the playboy who goes around getting girls into
trouble and then leaving them to fend for themselves is
considered irresponsible and a coward.
In A Study of Psychopathology, Dr
Lapuz says: ‘The usual cultural norm for masculinity is
firstly, the ability to perform sexual intercourse and
secondly, freedom from marital controls in a man’s
activities.’ The first criterion is measured by the
number of children a man has, which is why large
families are preferred in the Philippines. A large
number of offspring is evidence of a man’s virility. It
also explains why a man will have children by his
mistress.
The second norm is one that every Filipino
husband strives to give an impression of, for fear of
being called ‘under the saya’— henpecked. This threat is
real because Filipino wives are very dominant and,
though they may appear quiet and submissive before
others, are very skilful in manipulating their husbands
to get what they want. Because the wife runs the
household, she considers it her territory and the
husband does not have much say in household issues. He
gives his opinion only when consulted and even then his
recommendations may not be followed. Thus, the Filipino
husband concentrates on being a good provider for his
wife and children.
The Father
The breadwinner role played by the husband is
extended to his rote as a father. The father’s main duty
is to provide for his family as well as he can. It is a
proud father who can say he put all his children through
school and an even prouder one who can boast of seeing
his children through college. Education is considered
the best gift parents can give their children.
Many Filipino fathers also see it as their
role to build up a business to ensure their children a
place in life when they grow up and join the workforce.
It is seen as an inheritance they can leave to their
children upon their death. It is important to Filipinos
that lie leave something to their children—through this
they eel they an continuing to provide for their
children even when the latter are able to provide for
themselves. Parents think it is their duty to give their
children a better life than the one they had. This is
how the present dynasties in the Philippines were
built—a family business passed from generation to
generation with each generation improving and expanding
it. In leaving his children more than he received, a
Filipino feels he has been a good father.
The Filipino father is a ceremonial
figurehead. He is the head of the family, but in many
cases, in name only. He is treated like royalty at
home—the children must be quiet when he is asleep, they
bring him his slippers when he gets home, cater to his
whims and needs and take pains not to get in his way or
arouse his anger because he works hard all day and needs
to rest and relax. Hence they do not usually consult him
about their problems. As a father he does not usually
have much to do with the children’s upbringing. That
responsibility is designated to the mother.
The father is a disciplinary figure used by the mother
to threaten the child into obedience, e.g. she might say
‘stop teasing your sister or your father will belt you
when he comes home’. This sometimes results in the
children growing up in fear of their father and never
getting to know him as a person. The Filipino only plays
the role of father when his children are in their
teenage years, whereupon he becomes more aware and more
controlling of their activities, His role as
disciplinarian is even stronger now because the wife
seems to feel less capable in this area once the
children are older. This is due to the disciplinary
methods she uses (threats and bribery) which become less
effective when the children get older. But the Filipino
father’s most important role or duty is still that of
provider and the role is a lifetime one.
Lolo: The
Grandfather
Elders are respected and revered. The
grandfather heads the hierarchy in the family structure
and may be likened to an old tribal chief. His advice
and opinions on a wide variety of matters are sought by
the younger family members. He takes great interest in
his grandchildren and may sponsor a favourite grandchild
through college in Manila or even abroad. The role of
ceremonial figurehead is maintained, hut this time over
a larger fiefdom.
Bakla: The Homosexual
Homosexuals are accepted and tolerated by
Philippine society. In fact, they have their own
functions and roles to perform. The term ‘homosexual’ as
used here does not distinguish between different types
of homosexuals. Most prominent are the male homosexuals
but gay females are also accepted and tolerated. The
bakla or male homosexual who acts like a female is a
figure of fun in movies and television shows. But the
important role they assume in society is that of arbiter
of taste. They are the couturiers, interior decorators,
architects, hairdressers and make-up artists. Women look
to them for setting the trend in fashion and design,
often trusting their judgment more than their own.
They are thus very much a part of Philippine society and
one will encounter them everywhere. They have their own
language, swardspeak, their own way of speaking and
their own mannerisms, different to those of females.
They are fun-loving, entertaining and are many a girl’s
best friend as they sometimes play the role of
confidante to women. Even the men banter with them,
teasing and making fun of them, though with no malicious
intent.
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