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Prenuptial Agreement with a Filipina in the
States
I met my future
wife in 1999 and brought her and her 1yr old Daughter to the states on a K1 visa. I had been a single parent for
ten years of two boys and went through a nasty divorce that prompted
me to want a prenuptial agreement if I were to marry again. Being
Self-employed for 21 years in the construction business, I have been
fortunate and have acquired numerous assets that I didn't feel that
I should share with someone right away in an early marriage. I think
this way with any race or nationality of woman. Not just a Filipina.
In my view, marriage is the most serious partnership a person can
enter in their life. Not only is the relationship emotional and
physical but, a financial relationship. Hence, my desire to have a
prenuptial to protect myself and my sons (from the previous
marriage).
I got a copy of a prenuptial agreement from a "Family Law" software
program. I filled in the blanks and added to it including; 3 years
of business and personal tax returns, current profit loss
statements, a list of all assets and debits both personal and
business, and the disclosure or mention of a possible inheritance
from my parents estate. Included in the prenuptial is a list of
assets of my future wife. In my case, my wife had nothing. With
accountants and bookkeepers, I think it cost me around $3k to get
all this information about myself together. The smaller your estate,
the cheaper the costs will become to create a prenuptial.
Keep in mind that most prenuptials can only protect what you have
BEFORE your married. Think of it as a "snapshot" in time of what
you have in your life at the moment of marriage. What you acquire or
grow in wealth during your marriage is half your spouses regardless
who paid for it. There is some grey area on the legality of the
spouse sharing in the growth of said assets listed in prenuptial
while you two are married. This differs from state to state. In my
state, it doesn't matter.
I put in the agreement many clauses that shows good faith if, the
marriage fails. For instance; "If the marriage lasts three years,
spouse gets car and $___ dollars/month for one year" etc.. Medical,
dental and other monthly expenses will be paid for a certain period of time. In my case, up to three years.
Prenuptials should be renewed or reviewed every four years and all assets should be listed again with estimated values. Be as fair as possible in your estimation otherwise, you could be accused of fraud
and the agreement deemed null and void.
To make the thing completely legal, I hired my future wife a lawyer
($200.00/hour) and with the three of us, we looked over the document
and had it signed and notarized in the lawyers office. In fact, her
lawyer thought the agreement was more than fair and tried to solicit
me for other work.
I have updated the prenuptial once since I have been married. This new agreement has clauses in it for me to continue to contribute to a 401k fund (I started the first year we were married) for both my
wife and daughter. It outlines if the marriage fails a monetary
settlement that will provide her with an very good income for 2
years plus medical insurance for both wife and daughter. It also
outlines beach property I purchased in the Philippines that will be
deeded to her if, we were ever to divorce. It also outlines
properties that I have purchased (while married) in the states that
she will share in as being my wife. In essence, the more fair you
make the agreement, the better off both of you are in case something
happens to the relationship. Very shortly, that agreement will be
null and void. The pre-nup agreement will not be updated again due to the fact that I believe with all my heart our marriage has passed any tests and will endure until my death. Instead, a living will is in the process of being created to distribute my estate to my two sons, my daughter and my wife.
Some of you may be asking how my wife reacts to all this. Honestly, she is fine with it and will tell you she married me for me not, what I have in assets. I tried to get her to put in her own thoughts on this posting but, she said she felt "I had said it all". FYI: When I met her, she only knew I worked in construction and that was it. To protect myself and know that the woman I wanted to marry only wanted me and not what I had, I never told her while we were courting that I had done well in my life. When I showed the prenuptial agreement to her when she came to states and before we were married, she and I had already discussed it many times and, she had no problems with it and just wanted to know where to sign. Since our marriage started, we have traveled all over the world and go back to the Philippines twice a year and our whole family (even my 17yr and 21yr old sons) sponsors and helps out a couple of orphanages in her home town. Like any marriage, there have been some "rough spots" along our road together but, all marriages experience those things at one time or another. The important thing is that we work through our problems and have a
common goal of putting our marriage as a priority in our life not, a
minority.
Now, some folks out there really have a problem with prenuptial agreements basing their argument that you are planning on the relationship to fail from the beginning. I politely disagree with this view. As I stated above, to me a relationship is the biggest decision one has to make in their life. All other decisions in life are minuscule in comparison to the decision of marriage. You wouldn't have a partner in a business unless you spelled out the details of the partnership would you? Same should be said with a marriage that not only encompasses your emotional and physical side
of you but, your financial well being as well.
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