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Accepting and Admiring the Conservative Values of the Women of the Filipino Culture, Filipinas, Traditional ones, Most of them.
One of the cultural differences (perhaps the major one) which brings most Expats to the RP and attracts us to the Filipina ladies is the huge difference in moral values between typical Filipinas and Western women. IMHO, most Christian and/or otherwise thoughtful and intelligent men, Western or otherwise, do prefer to marry a more conservative lady than what is now the norm in the Western World. I know that's what drew me to my Filipina fiancée, among other things.
So many times I've heard my friends and acquaintances reminisce fondly abouthow things used to be in America in the 40's and 50's, back in what we call the good old days. Then, when learning that the RP is much like America was during those times, we begin to consider a woman with the old fashioned values we so deeply regret losing here in the States.
I strongly agree that the draconian and unfair divorce laws in the RP are a travesty, as they don't allow divorce even for the reason of adultery. That being said, I, as a Christian, do believe that sex before or otherwise outside of marriage is not only a sin, but also counterproductive to the overall welfare of humanity as a whole, and especially unfair to the reputation of the lady involved. This is especially true in a culture such as the Philippines, where you will both be ostracized by the community, and where the lady will be seen as damaged goods!
If a man and a woman are attracted to each other for the right reasons, meaning the emotional, psychological and moral compatibility, then they have the moral obligation to show constraint and responsibility regarding the physicality of the relationship until such time as they feel so in love that they feel destined to become man and wife...and until such time as theceremony is concluded! At that time, the consummation of the marriage is atrue expression of their mutual love, devotion, intimacy and PERMANENCE. Until such time, we should refrain. To do otherwise is to allow our sexual desires to overcome our obligations to ourselves as humans. This type of thing is what separates us from the beasts and makes us truly unique creatures.
Yes, it's very difficult. Even if the couple in this situation are of a different religion, or even if they are atheistic, the underlying reasons for such morals and values are still in place. It takes tremendous strength, self respect, respect of your partner and respect for the human condition to follow these teachings and cultural mores.
So, having said all that, I implore you to consider what is written here, and to look before you leap!
Best wishes,
Rufus S
Contributor http://www.livinginthephilippines.com .
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