Living in The Philippines > Relationships

What have we(Filipinas) become....

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I felt anguish on a recent issue and I thought I share.

Two months ago, a 70 year old retired American guy came to rent a unit in the property. He used to be married to a Filipina when he came to retire initially here a few years ago, brought her back to the US and later divorced him. That is his story and he sounded bitter and boy he is a talker. He came on a PRA visa and is actively looking for a partner/companion. Ok, don't point a finger at me, I am not interested nor he does lol. I tried not to get involved with his affairs as he likes to share what's going on on his daily life and so I made it a point to deal with my brother and his wife for any concern. So he did talked a lot to them as they help him clean his place and do his laundry.

A couple of weeks ago, he had been trolling the internet dating sites and chat sites. And suddenly, he had been sending money to western union to bring these women he met online to his place, according to my brother. One stayed for 1 day, 2 days etc. and I have to step in and talked  to him. He thinks, it is not my business, perhaps so, but I told him he is on a month to month lease and if I don't agree with what's going on in my property, I have the right to ask him to leave. He seem to get along with the last gal and enthusiastic about her, a 27 year old woman from Laguna. But...she has a child from being a rape victim.

Yesterday, the gal from laguna left and she said she is coming back and the American guy left today to Angeles City for a 2 weeks stay. Over dinner last night, my sister in law said, he is meeting 30-50 women in his hotel, by the pool, and screen them one by one. He got a checklist. I was shocked! Hence, this dilemma. What has become of us Filipinas. We have become so cheap and has lost morals. Of course, there's an exception. Was it due to so much poverty and a glimmer of hope to go abroad and have a better life? Blame the politicians for being insensitive to the plight of the people they ought to serve by being corrupt to the bone and not doing their job of creating jobs and curtailing the over population? What about the ethics of these foreign guys who come to the country and exploit our women. How many other foreign guys come to the country doing similar to what this guy is doing? Ok ok, I have heard women scammers as well to be fair. My other concern is the spread of HIV and AIDS in the country. Recent news indicate about 500 new cases of the deadly virus added to the statistics every month. More young people who have no idea of the virus and it's transmission are getting infected. Now go figure. The INCUBATION period of the virus is up to TEN YEARS and that means one can be infected without showing symptoms and spread the virus to others. Get tested? Please bear in mind that the WINDOW period after one is infected can take ....2 weeks - 6 months...for the body to start making HIV antibodies....and that means one can have NEGATIVE test, even tho infected and spread the disease.

I know there's a lot of decent, level headed expats/foreign guys out there who have found the love of their life and have made the country their permanent home or have brought their ladies back to their home country. Perhaps you can share your experiences/ideas for others to learn from, on how to meet women without playing Russian roulette, with more respect or without exploiting our vulnerable women. Thank you.

Are you kidding me?  I am not going to judge him and say he is right or wrong, moral or not but I can tell you that he is so far in the opposite direction to most of us that he or anyone like him will not listen to anything any of us say.  They think about it 10 seconds and then say, "patooey".

By the way, it appears you have been living a fairly well sheltered life if this kind of thing is new and surprising to you.

Well in my opinion the guy is trying and most likely have good intention toward the filipina he hope to marry. But i think he is going about the meeting process in a wrong way. Needs time to get to know someone and even with time one never can tell what they will get.
If any woman is willing to jump in the sack with a man shortly after meeting him then i think that says a lot about her morality and men will quickly loose respect for women like that.
People need to practice safe sex but unfortunately many does not. I know many people who got taken advantage of. It goes both ways. Many filipina marry older guys then dump them later for younger ones. From what i saw that is a common thing in the States. The only remedy for that is time. At 70 yrs. old it does not seems like this guy have a lot of time to get to know the women he meets. This is a hard tread to reply to. Philippines is a poor third world country and many things is lacking. High unemployment rate, the average Filipino male cannot even afford to take care of a wife. Because most foreigner is in a better financial position many women will flock toward the foreigner, not out of love but just to have a better life and the many opportunities which this presents. Not saying this is true for all but some. I would say most of us foreigners have a loving and stable marriage with our filipina wives. People need to be smart and take care of their priorities. Cannot worry about the next person. At least that is what i do. Take care of my family and myself. Not  even sure if i answer this tread the right way.

Yes indeed it is a complicated one to answer Trevor. There are very many factors involved and the very worst is to start throwing the idea of Immorality at the Filipinas.
There is the desperation of fulfilling their duty to look after their parents and siblings as best as possible. This is a common factor in poverty stricken people. Duty, and responsibility, of necessity take priority over morality. I blame no Filipina for this.

The next 'blame' i suggest is contact with western culture and 'POP' idols who are seen as the ideal but display the lowest forms of immoral behaviour. It is not easy for the younger people to draw the distinction between correct western values and the values thrown at them by the uneducated gutter of pop culture.

I also see fault ion the 'novella' culture. One Filipina said to me recently "life is reflected in Novellas"!!!!! Filipinos are exposed to this garbage which shows generally insipid upperclass lifestyles where the only story seems to be who is in bed with whom! Women cry about every 5 minutes while men bully the women or stare blankly and moronically into space trying to look like they are in deep thought....

Last but not least is the foreign men who lure young women with the promise of a life of luxury and leisure. Lie, use, abuse, dump ... in that order. This is the real immorality. This is the sickness that must be challenged: Sick foreigners whose one objective is self gratification without and real lasting concern for the young desperate women. We have all met this type of tourist and maybe it is time we foreigners took a more active part in preventing this abuse.

So He intends to line up 30-50 ladies as though they were cattle in an attempt to find his true love.

I might suggest that a lady of quality, one with self-respect, the one that a person would truly wish to find would never submit herself to that form of humiliation.

Only the most desperate will answer his call. Good luck with that.


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