Living In The Philippines Forum

Living in The Philippines => Immigration,Visas to stay in the Philippines => Topic started by: on December 20, 2007, 09:05:11 PM

Title: Philippine Immigration
Post by: on December 20, 2007, 09:05:11 PM
The starting point for answers to your questions, is here:

Title: Re: Philippine Immigration
Post by: Ted on January 14, 2008, 06:02:09 AM
We heard about the two immigration guys coming to see us from a text message while we were in town getting construction supplies.  The text said that they were Tagolog.  Odd.  Why does the Cebu office of immigration hire Tagologs? They were on their way to Tambobo cove to question some of the foreigners who live on the boats there. These are crusty types that live on the edge of civilization and still find a way to keep a yacht afloat. As savvy as they are, they still have to send their share of scammers packing.

Phony immigration guys are a dime a dozen.  They take your passport as part of a scam.  You usually pay to get it back after it is “processed”. I knew that in my case it was a last ditch effort to get something on me to have me deported.  I knew that a petition was already being circulated to have me deported.  The petition had a pen, and attached to the pen was a big jug of tuba, coconut wine.  Shoot, I might have signed it myself if they had attached a SanMig. Still, I didn’t think I’d ever see my passport again if I gave it to the two immigration guys.

So, forewarned, my wife and I developed a strategy for them.  No answers, not even a name, only questions.

I arrived at our lot and started moving rocks and gravel to burn off nervous energy.  What if these guys are for real?

I heard them before I saw them.  The Bantay Dagat (sea watch) boat, the mayor’s fish police, has a distinctive sound that I know day or night. This time it was using its siren and lights. It dropped the “immigration officers” off at the beach at high tide.  Wading the swamp to get to my “beach villa” involved getting more wet than they had planned on.  They were in fairly poor spirits when they arrived.  Maybe the Tambobo guys had had their way with them.  I continued to shovel rocks while my wife talked to them. 

My wife called me over and explained that the “immigration officers” had some questions for me.  I asked for their identification and my wife recorded their names and numbers in a notebook.  My crew, long since used to this type of thing, settled in for the show.

They were demanding and arrogant, they said that they had a petition for deportation that they were directed to investigate. They wanted my passport. Game on.

My every sentence was a question. It was a challenge. Why are you doing this, why is the local office not involved, where is my due process, who is your supervisor, what department, what is the phone number, why are you asking about my visa when the local office has that information, what did the local office say, what does the petition say, where is my translation of the petition?  Which one of you is in charge? Why not have hearings at the office?

I put a pad and paper in front of them. “Write down your questions so that my lawyer can advise me on them.”

They were steamed. One in particular started pointing at me.  I pointed back, arm outstretched and straining. I answered his questions with my questions.

The other tried to cool me down. He put his hand on my leg as is not unusual for Filipino guys trying to make it all ok. It is not something a real investigator would do. I jumped back and acted violated. Why did he touch me? I’m going to report this to your supervisor. He launched into a Filipino rendition of Larry Craig’s “I am not gay and I never have been gay”.  He instinctively did it again.  These guys were amateurs and not in control of the situation.

I had a zerox copy of my passport and waved it around to taunt them. Sorry, I’ll need to see a written request signed by your supervisor along with the answers to all of my questions.

They went back to the swamp, rolled up their pants and waded. We heard from friends that they cursed us all the way to the boat landing.

Word went all over town that these guys were phony and even the mayor was fooled by them. I believe the mayor was in on it but I like the popular version of the story even better.

Of all the experiences and challenges that we faced, the fake immigration guys make us laugh the hardest. 

We brought this up one day with the Provincial Attorney.  He warned us that these scams are common and we should call the police or his office to report them. Sometimes the police are in on it too.  I never give up my passport. 

Title: Re: Philippine Immigration
Post by: RUFUS on January 14, 2008, 12:22:21 PM
Nicely done!

Title: Re: Philippine Immigration
Post by: Gray Wolf on January 14, 2008, 10:50:13 PM
You go boy!  Ted, you are my new Hero of the Week!  Carry on, Big Guy!

Your friend,
Title: Re: Philippine Immigration
Post by: on January 15, 2008, 07:52:22 AM
You go boy!  Ted, you are my new Hero of the Week!  Carry on, Big Guy!

Your friend,

Wow Ted :o Jack\'s \'Hero of the Week\' 2 weeks running ;D You are honoured. Seriously though, keep on doing what you are doing & keep telling us about it & someday maybe Johnny Depp will play you in a movie...\'Pirates of the Philippines\'??
Title: Re: Philippine Immigration
Post by: indaybatutay on April 17, 2009, 04:13:06 PM
 :D :D ;DThat fantastic, owesome I love when every foreigner know how to argue in those kind of people Terrific.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Philippine Immigration
Post by: on June 09, 2010, 01:52:14 PM
This topic and thread was started in 1-2008

Not bad, IMO, to bring froward.

The Philippine BI has done away with the Pinoy not employed by the BI for services!!  If you find such going ons, it\'s a SCAM for your Money!!

BUT...........that same service can be found ~~WITHIN~~ the RP BI!!! Been there, done that!  ;D
Title: Re: Philippine Immigration
Post by: RUFUS on June 09, 2010, 11:10:23 PM
Now that you brought this thread back...
Whatever happened to Ted(fish_ako)?
Haven\'t seen any posts from him in quite some time.
Wonder if, with all the attempts to get him, if one finally succeeded. :o ??? :-\\