Living in The Philippines > Relationships

DONTS for finding a Filipina wife. (or others of the Latin flavor)

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Metz:
DON\'TS for finding a Filipina wife. (or others of the Latin flavor)

DO NOT meet some woman online and then after a month decide you are going to get married and bring her and her 5 kids to the US.  Of course she is going to tell you sweet talk(aka bola bola).  She just hit the lottery.

Stay away from Bar Girls, and Barrio Girls.  You would not marry a hood rat, or trailer trash welfare queen in the US would you?

Beware the pretty face.  They are all pretty at first cause they are exotic and new to your eyes.  You will learn after awhile.

If they ask you for money... RUN!!!  I know a Filipina who runs this scam where she is \"engages\" to multiple American/Arab/Euro men at the same time.  She lives in a Mansion, has servants and pays for it all; from suckers sending her money via western Union.  She makes announcements that she is engaged to some new man every 4-6 months.  She is VERY beautiful and looks very young even though she is in her late 40\'s.   Entertaining yes but a disaster for anything longer than a 3 day weekend.   The Nigerians have their fun the Filipinos have theirs too...

Find a nice never married woman close to your age.  Preferable she is educated and from a middle class family so they are not begging for cash from Uncle Sugar Daddy.  They are more common than you think, they just don\'t hang out on the personals section or yahoo chat or bars with rent-a-girlfriends. You meet them as the owners of businesses or doctors, lawyers, call center managers etc.  You meet them shopping at SM Mall on the weekend or at Rustan\'s in the evenings.

IF SHE HAS CHILDREN. make sure there will be no strings from the ex.  Make sure all the papers are in order.

DO NOT marry a \"simple farm girl\" or the maid- if you have plans of moving to Phils and have grand ideas about starting a second career.  Your entry to local business and society is thru your wife.  Her connections are your connections.  Doing otherwise will cost many years of developing those relationships that make you successful in Phils.

DO NOT be THAT 60 year old American man married to the 20 year old Filipina.  The locals will not take you seriously and you will be a ripe target for all sorts of scammers.  You will also be called Uncle Dom  (Dirty Old Man)

THERE IS NO DIVORCE IN PHILS  Annulments yes, they are expensive and big headache.  If you were in the US and met some woman who was separated with 3 kids would you pay for her divorce lawyer too?

You are only as smart as your wife especially if you are going to live in Phils.  You don\'t know enough about the culture or geography to make a good decision without spending many years there and lots of trial and error.  If your wife doesn\'t know even basic Phils geography, how can you expect that she will lead you to make a good decision of where to live there?  If she has never had more than a couple hundred dollars in her pocket in her life, how can you expect her to help you make the right decisions in large purchases?

DO NOT RESCUE, you are not the hero.  A sad story only works for awhile, she may be grateful for awhile but you wont know if she is using you until it is too late, you are in the US and she divorces you taking half of your stuff.  The White Knight Syndrome is a cliche that is true many times.

If her family calls you \"the rich American\" and you are a American truck driver or something like that.  RUN!!!  Her family may be thinking that they all will live with you and your new wife.

DO NOT marry a woman and then have her family move in with you!  In the Philippines the marriage vows state that the woman is to transfer her loyalty to her husband.  This means that she is your wife first and her parents child a distant second.   You create your own family and your loyalty is to each other first.  If you let her family interfere especially if they live with you it can cause much hardship.  very rarely does it work out.  If you are in the US would you want a busybody mother-in-law to run your life?  Why invite it on yourself there.

Lastly if you are going to get married, take your time to know her.  A year at least and many many many visits.  It is a lifetime commitment, don\'t be stuck with buyers remorse.

Lunkan:
And before marriage talk and agree about the big things, which have limits concerning compromising.

(Concerning the economy of my wife\'s family I aim lower, at clever but below middle class, because then she have lower demands and a farmers daughter will more likely want to live at countryside as I want  :)    Before marriage and house building I plan to live close a half year or so. I have already told I will not agree to have her relatives living with me.)

Metz:
What you call \"lower middle class\" by euro standards, would make you the richest or second richest guy in the jungle village. Just Having any car (even a beat up junker)is a status symbol in the places you are talking about settling.

Lunkan:

--- Quote from: Metz on February 03, 2012, 02:14:45 AM ---What you call \"lower middle class\" by euro standards, would make you the richest or second richest guy in the jungle village. Just Having any car (even a beat up junker)is a status symbol in the places you are talking about settling.

--- End quote ---
I talked about what I see as Filipino lower middle class =Are poor, but afford some university education and Internet without Internet café (by mobile phone or with one laptop ĺer family).

The suprising was she said she don\'t want to get a car even if she marry a kano, who can afford one.

richardsinger:

--- Quote from: Lunkan on February 03, 2012, 04:15:24 AM ---I talked about what I see as Filipino lower middle class =Are poor, but afford some university education and Internet without Internet café (by mobile phone or with one laptop ĺer family).

--- End quote ---

Lunkan, if you can come out with a definition like that, I think you haven\'t seen what poor means in Philippines. Have you ever been here?

Richard

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