Living in The Philippines > Relationships

Are you one of "those" guys?

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I know we're not all guys here but I got to thinking this morning about the story Lee posted concerning the Philippine BI's increased enforcement efforts against foreign criminal types and it made me think of two things that happened with my doctor.

During the process of updating and obtaining my vaccinations prior to my first Philippines visit, my doctor, trying hard to act nonchalant, started talking about how "some men" went on "sex vacations" to places like the Philippines. I reacted a bit angrily and told him that I wasn't one of "those men" and that I was visiting someone that I had been involved with for more than a year.

He quickly dropped the subject.

After Menchu and I were married and during the prep before our first trip to Davao together, I needed to stock up on my meds and made a special appointment with the doctor to do so. During that appointment he very casually, but out of the blue,  asked me how old Menchu was.

I dearly wanted to tell him that she was 16, just to watch his eyes pop, but I told him her real age and he simply said, "Oh." The feeling I got was, again, like I was being thought of as one of "those men".

The man has been my doctor for eight years. I can't imagine how he could have picked up a vibe from me about the sex vacation thing. The young chickie thing I guess is possible for many guys so I cut him some slack for that.

Thinking about those incidents made me think to ask you all this: have you ever felt like you're being treated like one of "those men" (or even one of "those women")? 


     There was a time that I encountered that attitude from the occasional US immigration agent when coming back into country, but it hasn't happened in the last several years.  When I did get attitude, it was mostly from American women whose noses were bent out of shape (probably because my wife was way better looking than them).  Although my wife is only 6 years younger than me, the apparent assumption was that I had robbed somebody's cradle.  Of course, just about the only time the Philippines is in the news in the US is when there is a typhoon or when child molestors are arrested.


Fortunately I have never encountered any problems relating to us. Our ages are 66/42 but perhaps we don't look too bad together. I know I would not take kindly to any snide remark or insinuation made about us. Hopefully the criminal checks, as mentioned in another thread, will help reduce the pervs from coming to the Philippines.

With regard to your doctor JD, I would suggest that he is the one with young girls on his mind, I doubt whether it is within his remit to check up on the age difference of his married patients. Nevertheless, best get your viagra elsewhere  ;D ;D

Gray Wolf:
Some family members questioned my relationship with Gloria when we first met.  I overheard some disparaging remarks while at a party about people marrying "mail-order brides", a very ugly comment in my book.  They quickly changed their attitudes when I gave them a choice of being part of our lives or merely someone I used to be related to. 

When I married my wife in Florida, she was 26 and I was 46 and I lost some friends because of our marriage. I figure they were not real friends anyway if they did not stick with me. I feel some of the men may have made inappropriate jokes to their wives about trading them in for a younger woman when they met my wife, which in turn then made their wives wish to distance themselves from us but some good friends stuck with us and some self confident wives did not have a problem with my wife being younger even when some of the men would make similar statements.

The only problem I had when we first married was when my wife put her hair back, which then made her look like a teenager. One cashier at a supermarket saw my wife's photos with her hair back when the photo was in my wallet as I paid, to which she said "what a beautiful daughter you have" and she was shocked when I replied that was my wife and that she is much older than she looks in the photo, which still made her almost fall on the ground in shock thus I moved the photo to where no one else could see it unless I wanted them too and always asked my wife to keep her hair down since the cashiers comments only reinforced what I felt might happen.

While in the Philippines we had gotten some stares and some comments made mostly by younger Filipino males and one even went so far as to warn my wife in her language that kanos were no good, to which I turned around and gave him a nasty look and he then left quietly.

I have always told my wife jokingly that in the US she is my trophy wife and in the Philippines I am her trophy husband, since the women in the Philippines are often brazen enough to try to pick me up right in front of my wife, to which I tell my wife that they only interested in me for the dollar signs tattooed on my head in ink that only Filipinos seem to be able to see.   :P   :)


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