Itís Your Money > Money Exchanging

You're the bank

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Has anyone experienced this? Today was the third time since my arrival here that someone has come to my home and approached my GF about a loan or being a cosigner for a loan. The first two were parents of students that my GF has in her class. Today was a friend of a friend who has a student in her class. I was born at night, but it wasn't last night and I don't cosign for s--t. I've did it twice in the past for immediate family and got burnt once, and that's all it takes for me. To this day I am still hounded by creditors for the student loan I supposedly cosigned for my ex before we divorced. We have been divorced 7 years and they are still coming after me even though the divorce degree was specifically written to include her personal outstanding debts not be waged against me. So much for court orders.
Hope I didn't butthurt any feelings today when I told this lady I'm not a bank and she is wasting her time trying to convince the GF of her sad story.

When I first got here, I guess for the first 6 months, I seemed that every one I had dealings with would at sometime ask for a loan for some reason, the only one I gave money to was a relative whos little girl was in the hospital.  Was not much they wanted about 4k, I asked my then gf and she thought it would be a good idea, then after people found out I had loaned them money (read that gave), I had request for money from more people than I could count, everything from the family's in crisis (whatever the hell that means) to I need money for school.

After I broke up with the gf, and that went out over the Philippine gossip service I was besieged with all kinds of crazy request for money.
I quickly learned the following response, I am not a bank, I am not a loan agency, I am not a charitable organization !

Since I met Maline, I usually let her take the lead on money with the exception of sometimes I will collect from the pedicab drivers using her pedicabs as they will not alibi me.  I will however loan money to her relatives on the farm as they always pay me back in rice.

I am sometimes amazed at the people here, in the States I would never consider asking for money from anybody, no mater what the reason...It would put me in position of being like the ones there whom I despise...the welfare bums.  Many here seem to have no personal pride. 

Still here, at least a couple of times a week, there are people at the gate wanting money for any number of reasons from school plays to tshirts for some team...Maline tells me most are not legit, most of the time its a scam...the way to tell is watch them walk away and see if they go to my Filipino neighbors and ask for money..if its a scam usually they will not ask other Filipinos..

I had to get over worrying about hurting feelings, if you don't, most people here will persist, for me, I just give them the Drill Instructor stare and in a voice that can not be mistaken, a to the point no...usually I will not be bothered again...

Have a mate here that had a Tee shirt made.. On the front it says "HUMAN ATM MACHINE"
on the back it says "OFF LINE".

LOL Just dang Fred Funny,I agree with Coleman on this I been here 4 years now and its a never ending cycle they need help from you Because your white A walking rich man in there eyes my I always say ask my wife I am so tired of giving money to here I give to some like a Church that needs repair or family that's sick but people will never stop it seems but when it comes to her Family the loan never comes back to me ..Fred I'm Gonna do that but I will make many white T-shirts he he love it Thanks :)

Funny Fred, I want one just as a conversation piece.  ;D

All those issues is why we live in a condo in Cebu during our yearly stays instead of in a house among many locals. Most Filipinos shy away from going to high rise condos, as I have found out that quite a few are afraid of heights and others are intimidated by all the security and the size of the buildings. One woman who was extremely intimidated after dealing with security thought we owned the whole building lol.

Other than family asking when a real emergency or major medical issue comes about, since retiring and making it known we have enough to live and enjoy our lives, we rarely get anyone asking for money. Unfortunately with such a large family, since my wife is one of 13 sisters and brothers with her as the next to the youngest, as family ages, health issues as well as stupid things like family members getting shot or stabbed have come about and those I cannot say no to because I would not be able to live with myself knowing I let a family member die when all I had to do was cut out some visits to friends and some less important items from our budget to fund their treatment.

I find it interesting that so many seem to have so many problems with people besides family asking for money. Other than around Christmas, I do not remember anyone other than family asking for money but during the holidays we have had my wife's former coworkers ask and since we are not in that area yearly, we do not mind giving the few close friends a few pesos to try to make their life a little better.


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