Living in The Philippines > Philippine Culture, Filipino Family Relationships

Unwed mothers, has it become acceptable?

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Gray Wolf:
Lee, I'm with you on this.  Condoms and birth control pills don't feed hungry children.  Family planning and contraception is no substitute for morals.  That's what is lacking in young people these days.  I fear much of it is learned by watching the US, which is rapidly becoming a cesspool of debauchery and depravity.
 

Killjoygreg:
Three of our nieces and one nephew have babies and all are unwed. Not the slightest bit of disapproval was demonstrated by the family. Indeed these babies seem to be loved and adored. So far, except for the nephew they are still with their partners.
It seems to me the average Filipino is shunning weddings, for whatever reason I have no idea. None of the younger people in our family attend church and I can only assume they not as religious as the parents or grandparents.
 
Now all they need to do is use contraception. Young girls appear to want to get pregnant.

Shewmake:


--- Quote from: iamjames on July 08, 2014, 02:22:32 AM ---
Yes James I am dead serious, it is becoming a major problem. Too many of those women end up unable to support those children. Many of those women have to turn to unsavory work in order to support the children because the fathers apparently often do not. Go into any of the bars and talk to the many women working in them and it is often the same old story over and over again. I have seen it in the US as well in poor neighborhoods leading to too many being on welfare and in a poor country like the Philippines it is now happening way too often.

So while the priest berating her in public might not have been the best thing for him to do, how many of those who witnessed it or heard about it might now think twice about doing the same thing.

--- End quote ---

Interesting take Lee, but what you didn't address is the fact- the circumstances you describe don't take into account the guy. During my stay in our former village, it seemed a girl was getting pregnant out of wedlock every other month. Usually the couple would get married, but all too frequently, the boy ran off or simply refused because he didn't want the responsibility.

The real issue here as it is in other countries is teens are not being taught to take responsibilities for their actions. I am not going to preach about the rightness or wrongness because people will be people, and it's up the individual to control their urges. Guys will say anything to have sex, regardless of their respective ages. It's the stigma that society, attaches to the issue, and here, unfortunately, there is very little bad stigma anymore to having a child out of wedlock, as in many western countries. In fact, here it seems girls thinking having a baby is the greatest thing in the world- kind of like getting a new toy, but that wears off awfully quick.

For me, it's boils down to the young people taking responsibility for their action's in life. All too often they see no problem just running away from them, or foisting the results of their actions onto the backs of their families. 

As to the priest . . . well heck he is a priest, tied to his religious dogma, and I don't expect much else from him. What we tend to forget to be catholic, here, is like wearing clothes. Everyone wears them, but not everyone wears them well.

shortman:
Taking responsibility for your actions is the main factor, as i see it; being a man and from my point of view when i was a hot to trot youngster, if she did not put out, it was bye bye and then look for the one that did; Now most of you guys in the room here don,t seem to be willing to say what "dogs" we young men were. I know it takes two to tango and many of us were willing partners and if being knocked up was the result many of us denied or disappeared;.. so before cold watering "sex education" or" strict house rules" or even the dreaded abstinence, we all should not forget the baby who did not ask to come....whether acceptable or not.

iamjames:
Teens generally are confused people trying to establish their role in society. Rebels with rampant hormones might be one way to describe them. Their behaviour is directly dependant on the quality of parenting they experience. Apart from ignorance of parenting (worldwide) the problem in third world countries is the parents are desperate not to 'turn their children against them' simply because they know that one day they will depend on those children simply to survive. This leads to a tolerance of behaviour that should not be allowed. It is just an unfortunate fact. Having babies is not such a big deal to these people and family planning for financial and future education reasons does not enter the equation. The responsibility rests with schools who must introduce programmes teaching responsible adulthood and parenting and family planning. But of course the Catholic church holds sway over the schools so that cannot happen.

Do not blame the young people for the failures of parents and others in authority who simply ignore the core concerns of teenagers.

 Under the regulations for entry to Catholic Teacher Training colleges The Blessed Virgin Mary would not be allowed admittance because she was living with a man (betrothed - not married) and she had a baby out of wedlock. When I pointed this out to the Dean of the local college her response was - it was a different time and a different culture. My response was the Blessed Virgin was lucky that she was not born a Philippina.

The big fault lies with the perceived 'wise' leaders: the Catholic Church being the major culprit. These money grabbing parasites will demand money for all their religious services. (The greatest sin in the Catholic faith is Simony - SELLING religious favours - yet it is conveniently ignored. Remember the story about Jesus driving the traders out of the temple with a whip! ).

 The young people quite often cannot get married because they cannot afford the priests costs. They will have to pay 2000 pesos to get the priest to 'bless their house'. They have to pay the priest at every mass through the collections. Names are read out after major collections during the year and people are publicly embarrassed into giving. That poor girl who was publicly humiliated by the sanctimonious so called representative of God had paid to have her child baptised. If she had been from a wealthy family that lecture would never have occurred.

The role of a priests sermon is "a short exhortation on the scripture of the day". Unfortunately when an ignorant person is given a platform the power element and ego factor kick in and they blaze away with their personal opinions, biases and bigotry. This is not their remit.

My religion was traditionally Catholic. I trained for eight years as a monk in a religious order. I am speaking from some experience and learning on the matter. 

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