Living in The Philippines > Relationships

Girl refuses to talk face-to-face

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clee:
So, my GF stood me up a few nights ago.  It's happened before, but this was the most blatant.   We video-chatted about 4pm and she seemed excited to meet.  She gets off at 9pm.  Nothing.  Didn't show up.  No communication from her.  Didn't answer text. Didn't answer my calls.  Turned off her data so she was unreachable via WhatsApp/Viber.  Completely disappeared.  I had no idea of what/where - anything..

The day after, via texting, she apologized without explanation.

Unfortunately, all of the above has happened before.  Maybe not this blatant, but she has disappeared with limited communication and poor explanations.  So, none of the above is weird.

Here's the weird part

I was angry and told her that texting was insufficient.  We needed to discuss this live (face-to-face).  As the day went on, she refused to meet face-to-face, and just kept escalating. It started simply with things like "It's not the right time to talk" and when I wouldn't budge, escalated to "I will kill myself if you force me to talk with you".  I offered to meet her at a coffee shop (instead of my place) because I thought it would de-escalate the situation.  It did not.  She kept repeating the threat to kill herself.  Refused to talk live. EVEN THOUGH it was in a public coffee spot?

 

I'm at a loss.  Please I don't need any help on the "standing me up" part.  I already know that's a problem, but at least, it's one I can understand.

If you can help me understand:
Why is she refusing to talk live face-to-face? 
Why is she threatening to kill herself for a coffee shop talk?

Steve & Myrlita:
Sounds like a scammer. Sorry. BTW: Welcome to the forum.

lost_in_samoa:

--- Quote from: clee on June 05, 2019, 06:15:46 PM ---If you can help me understand:

Why is she refusing to talk live face-to-face?
 
Why is she threatening to kill herself for a coffee shop talk?
--- End quote ---

The short and skinny is you may never understand.  Or to use PC terminology .... "get closure".

I think Steve was pretty eloquent.

Do you think this sort of interaction is a solid foundation for a relationship?

JoeLP:
I'm with Lost and Steve...she's probably a scammer. 

jjcabgou:

--- Quote from: clee on June 05, 2019, 06:15:46 PM ---So, my GF stood me up a few nights ago.  It's happened before, but this was the most blatant.   We video-chatted about 4pm and she seemed excited to meet.  She gets off at 9pm.  Nothing.  Didn't show up.  No communication from her.  Didn't answer text. Didn't answer my calls.  Turned off her data so she was unreachable via WhatsApp/Viber.  Completely disappeared.  I had no idea of what/where - anything..

The day after, via texting, she apologized without explanation.

Unfortunately, all of the above has happened before.  Maybe not this blatant, but she has disappeared with limited communication and poor explanations.  So, none of the above is weird.

Here's the weird part

I was angry and told her that texting was insufficient.  We needed to discuss this live (face-to-face).  As the day went on, she refused to meet face-to-face, and just kept escalating. It started simply with things like "It's not the right time to talk" and when I wouldn't budge, escalated to "I will kill myself if you force me to talk with you".  I offered to meet her at a coffee shop (instead of my place) because I thought it would de-escalate the situation.  It did not.  She kept repeating the threat to kill herself.  Refused to talk live. EVEN THOUGH it was in a public coffee spot?

 

I'm at a loss.  Please I don't need any help on the "standing me up" part.  I already know that's a problem, but at least, it's one I can understand.

If you can help me understand:
Why is she refusing to talk live face-to-face? 
Why is she threatening to kill herself for a coffee shop talk?

--- End quote ---
why would you bother to even try to maintain conversation, let alone a "relationship" with somebody like this?   Posts like this boggle my mind.     I am assuming you are not 15 years old, is this a correct assumption?   The admins could actually create a separate thread which could be similar to 'dear abby' .    The others are much more kind than I am and actually respond to these posts sincerely trying to help.   Whereas I need to pinch myself and say 'yes, these really are adults'

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