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Trying to send money to Olongapo but...

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--- Quote from: robbie_d on May 23, 2019, 04:53:14 AM ---Maybe it's for the better as i DO now see the need for shorter posts because one member in another thread of mine, very recently, took everything i wrote OUT of context - BIG TIME - without using the forum's quote function, and he twisted everything i wrote to make me appear as if i had described myself as a penniless, low-life, piece of welfare scum, and he even omitted what i said about her, just to take a shot at her, too, by shining a red light on her self-respect and personal dignity, just because she saved up some money by working in honest jobs.
The audacity of some self-absorbed people! Pffft!
Money doesn't make people good or bad - it's their character, which some people apparently lack.  It's okay, he'll face the Lord Jesus for that when his jig is up.
I am surprised a mod didn't pick up on that and moderate. 

--- End quote ---

Well, perhaps you should set out in that thread just how it is that other member "twisted everything" so the mods can see it and take action against the scurrilous member.

Making generous use of the forum quote function, I shall endeavor to highlight a few truths. Addressing first the allegation that the nameless poster described you as "a penniless, low-life, piece of welfare scum", let's take a look at what was said:

First, you said:

--- Quote from: robbie_d on April 11, 2019, 04:57:40 AM ---As far as my Pinay friend goes, she's spent most of her days for four months chatting with me and sharing personal things about her life KNOWING full well that i am not some rich guy, over here. I suppose i am as poor here, as she is there. Only difference is, is that i am able able to save more money because of the Quebec (provincial) social welfare system, free healthcare (which i hardly use), incredible food banks which give away organic foods and literally months worth of quality food supplies - every fourteen days - if people want to be greedy and overstock their kitchen pantries, and then to top it off, we have our Federal (Canadian) retirement funds which we don't even have to contribute to, really.
If you worked all your life, you'll get more than somebody who hasn't worked a day in their life. There is a minimum payment. Plus, there are low-cost, social housing programs. Geez, i feel like i am on a permanent paid vacation because of what i know about food preparation and frugality. Don't get me wrong, i would love to have a job that i could enjoy. Who wants to do a job they hate? Pffft! Not me.

--- End quote ---

That evoked the response:

--- Quote from: Hestecrefter on May 13, 2019, 12:11:19 AM ---
The Canadian immigration website will tell you that a TRV application may be supported by a "Letter of Invitation" from a Canadian.  Usually, that is someone who knows the invitee reasonably well and, in some cases, who undertakes to cover some or all of the invitees trip expenses.  But here, the OP boasts that he is a welfare case with the attitude (as expressed in one of his posts): "Who wants to do a job they hate? Pffft! Not me."  I think I would leave that bit of info out of any invitation letter.  As an aside, permit me to observe that the lot of a large part of the world's population is undertaking work they dislike in order to pay their bills.  Most folks just buck up and bloody well do it. 

--- End quote ---

I see no "penniless, low-life, piece of welfare scum" reference there.  That was your own nomenclature.  But I will not shrink from saying I feel some resentment on behalf of all those untold millions around the world who trudge off daily to jobs they dislike.  I find it a bit odious that you should denigrate their efforts with a dismissive "pffft".  They do what they must to take care of themselves and their families, sans looking for a handout from the taxpaying workers.

And the temerity of shining a "red light" on "her self-respect and personal dignity" by questioning how she managed to have $1,000 US in savings!  Very different from my experience in 3 years living there full-time.  I lived with what I would call "ordinary Filipinos" around me and I do not think any of them ever had that much cash on hand at any one time.  I fact, quite a few Canadians living around me would be hard pressed to come up with that amount at any time.  I think you are "twisting things" in what you attribute to the meaning of the member's words.  Does expressing some curiosity about how any unmarried young mother in the Phils manage to squirrel away USD1,000 somehow reflect adversely on her "self-respect and personal dignity"?  How so?

On the topic of "her self-respect and personal dignity", why is it you you have, more than once, described her as
--- Quote from: robbie_d on May 23, 2019, 07:53:18 AM --- a 5'7" tall hottie with hair past her butt

--- End quote ---

Do you think that honors her self-respect and personal dignity?  Is that all you see in her? Who will that see you facing "when your jig is up"? 

Your posts are larded with indicia that when you look at a woman, all you see is the physical.  A piece of meat.  You are attracted to a body.  If that is not to your lofty standards, give it a pass, yes?  I am reinforced in this view by your own words, viz:

--- Quote from: robbie_d on April 10, 2019, 04:05:47 PM ---She is really a fine-looking, young woman. 
I mean, i used to DJ/MC in MANY of centre-ville Montreal and in two of Toronto's upscale strip-bars in my twenties and thirties. I've seen Montreal's and Toronto's finest looking exotic dancers, nightly, up close and personal for about eight consecutive years. Dated many of them.

--- End quote ---

--- Quote from: robbie_d on April 10, 2019, 04:05:47 PM ---
I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw her asking me to be HER FB friend because she is totally, drop-dead gorgeous. I mean, she's exquisite. SHE is the type of woman i can see myself with for the long term. The only type i've ever dated.
I have unreasonably high-standards because of my former profession in those nightclubs.

--- End quote ---

Let me ask you just how much, pray tell, you think members here, many of whom have chosen to make the Philippines their permanent home, appreciate your constant slagging of the Philippines?  You, a newbie here, come in with guns blazing, telling us all about its deficiencies, as you see them.  For example:

--- Quote from: robbie_d on May 23, 2019, 07:53:18 AM --- What an EFFed UP place that is! 

--- End quote ---

--- Quote from: robbie_d on May 23, 2019, 08:51:59 AM ---The whole country should go on strike, NO ONE WORKS until the wages are raised to a normal work wage. All the money making, beautiful resorts. 
What is the President doing over there keeping every one dirt poor? I'm disgusted

--- End quote ---

Do you think sufficient funds can be diverted from all the money-making, beautiful resorts to sustain all 105 million or so Filipinos?  Do you honestly believe it's all the fault of the president?  Do you believe that by presidential fiat he can lift the whole country out of poverty at the stroke of a pen?

You have known one pen pal in the Phils for a short time.  You have never been there.  You are wholly ignorant about the place.  You have no right to express disgust about the country or anyone in it. 


--- Quote from: Hestecrefter on May 24, 2019, 01:02:47 AM ---I shall endeavor to highlight a few truths.
--- End quote ---


--- Quote from: bigrod on May 23, 2019, 09:46:03 AM ---Guess you have not realized the Philippines is 3rd class country.  Comparing what happens in Western countries to here is like compring apples and oranges.


--- End quote ---
3rd class country?
I think you mean "third world country".

I just wonder why the government doesn't put a new system in place. By the way, Chuck, The PH is NOT a third world country my friend, it's what is called a "developing country" and it's a PARADISE at that.
Some landlocked countries in Africa are THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES with NOTHING to offer but dust in your eyes, really.
Would you compare the money-making possibilities of The PH  a developing country to an African third world country and put them in the same third-world country "basket"?
If yes, then i am afraid you are mistaken.

They could be charging tourists a lot MORE money to be there in their resorts and to sit on the beautiful beaches. Charge the tourists for every single thing!  Fence off the area and have an admission booth charging US$20.00 admission for a full day and US$10.00 for half a day to swim in those pristine waters.
Do you think Western tourists won't pay for that? They travel to other costly destinations.
Retired expats won't like it because they are there to live frugally with their pension cheques and to have a younger, submissive wife (in most cases). More power to them.
Do you think tourists would stop visiting the PH if things were more expensive?...hmm, well, maybe certain kinds of tourist would stop going there. You know the kind i mean, the ones who go there, once a year, to knock-up 17-year-old girls (or younger) and then they laugh all the way home on the plane with their hidden camera video footage of the "crime" they've committed.
They don't even offer these girls a proper "rate".
Those kinds of "tourists" would, then, stay home and check the escort listings and street corner hookers, instead. 

Well-off people would pay big bucks to sit in paradise.
I look at the beautiful PH beaches and i wonder, "What is Duterte thinking?"
THIS is a freeking (potential money making) PARADISE!
He's a thug-President, basically. He was like Charles Bronson in Death Wish when he was mayor. He became a taxi driver just so he could attack muggers to stop crime.
Police can't do that? What do the cops do? Well, come to think of it, why would cops do that for a few PHPs per day?

All their young women are basically whored out by the pimping maid agencies because the culture dictates that the eldest daughter is financially responsible for all of her younger sisters' educations. What are the parents' responsibilities? lol Having more children?
Big bucks to be made in human trafficking, i suppose. Don't you suppose, too, chief?

People work for literally peanuts, and yet, they have to pay for everything.
I pay less for bottled distilled water in Montreal than they do in The PH.
I see the prices for kitchen appliances and they are not that less in price as the prices are in my city, really. Compared to the minimum wage, there, it's all out of reach for most people.

From what i see and am told, there is no real postal system. Everyone seems to be forced to communicate online, and, of course, they all have to pay for data loads. What a racket.
So, i can't even send her a written letter with pen and paper - it would take months for her to receive it, if she receives it, at all.
My ex was stationed in Côte d'Ivoire (another developing country, like The PH) and i used to mail my daughter cards and gifts and she got them a week or so later.

To see Youtube and Google, it all costs extra fees, in The PH.
I see on youtube MANY expats all complaining about their wives' poor families coming by to scrounge and how they hate it.
I've seen on YouTube, Pinays telling the public in videos that some PH girls who are married to Westerners have to tell their families to, "EFF OFF" once in a while.
So, it can't be all that great.

I am no politician, guys, but i can smell a bad egg when i see it.
If this whole country refused to work at their jobs and they all went on a nation-wide worker's strike and had huge protests in the streets, i am sure that would shake things up, wouldn't it? Things would change, i am sure. Life would be better for the PH people, but maybe not for the expats who go there exclusively to enjoy that system.

Anyway, sometimes, i almost wish i had never come into contact with this sweet girl. I wish my family was more...affluent.   
I was NOT even looking to meet a woman, let alone a Pinay at the other end of the planet, sitting in a shack with a tin roof.

This is how we met:
I was a member of a songwriter's FB group and she was, too. She sings really well.
I wrote a few helpful comments to novice songwriters, and so, she sent me a friend request.
I saw her profile photo of her with the SnapChat dog ears, nose and whiskers and i thought,"Oh, boy. Just look at this! What are We ever going to discuss?"
So, i sent an immediate message telling her, "You are too young and too beautiful. If i add you, my personal friends on FB would think i am chasing young women around on the internet like i am some sort a pervert. Why do you want to add me as a friend? We never even chatted or anything? Why?"

She said, "Ahhm, hello? Well, i read some of your comments in the songwriter's group and i was very impressed with how you deal with people. But it's okay, i canceled my request already."

I thought, "Hmm, well isn't that different, for a change? No one who tries to FB friend me, with whom i've had no contact, ever responds to that "tough" question. They just don't respond and i really expect them to. What's with this one?  Why did she respond?"

So, i spent about twelve hours reading her profile, her posts, and her responses to others' comments, and i was impressed with her mind. I didn't care how good looking she is. Looks mean very little when old age starts creeping in. What's in the head matters most to me - well beauty helps too lol but when that's gone, what's left if she's a bimbo, to begin with?

When i was finished reading about her, i sat back and thought, "Wow! She wants to add ME? She finds ME impressive?"
So, i contact her the next day and told her, in so many words, "I would be honored if you would be my friend."

So we start chatting and it instantly turns into six and a half months of daily chat, night and day.
She woke up and she messaged me and then went to work and when she got home, she contacted me until she fell asleep.
I saw her go from working full time at Jollibee to now being homeless with her child.

She told me she's been getting recurring UTIs since she was ten years old and this one she's had for three consecutive months, and that even the doctor's medications didn't heal it after all the meds were consumed according to the prescription. Still in severe pain in her freeking kidneys. She could barely bend over to pick things up without being a lot of pain in her both kidneys.
She showed photos of all the meds she was prescribed for the UTI. I told her what each one does.
I changed her diet and taught her a protocol. I told her, "Don't take the witchdoctor's advice, anymore. Listen to me."
Within a month, she was all better. She should never get another UTI or any other illness for as long as she lives if she continues with the diet and the protocol. I think i may have saved her life, and her boy's health if he gets ill.

Since the end of March, i'd wake up and i message her and we'd talk for hours.
She wakes up and messages me and we talk for hours, all by text. And we both wake up at 6 am in our time zones.
Although i have a virtual home recording studio, i didn't really learn to use it because i was pretty depressed due a house fire which relocated me from a large place into this "shoe-box sized place" where i am now. So that's why we never spoke on mic. I would upload videos for her to her FB timeline and she would send me voice clips in FB messenger, but we never spoke live with voice, until only a few days ago.

She still falls asleep chatting with me with her phone in her hand because the connection is so slow, sometimes. 
We've taken turns text chatting all night without even looking at the time, we're full of adrenaline and excitement. No camera, no voice chat, no sexy or suggestive photos exchanged. Just texting. We've discussed everything - except sex - well, until very recently.

She's never asked me for one single cent when she was telling me what was going on with the hospital. I had no idea she had to pay for the tests and the MRI and the four days and nights for hospital observation for her son after he severely bumped his head and was vomiting all day.
I'm Canadian i have no idea what it's like to have to pay a doctor or a hospital.
She quit her job to go live at her mom's place where the boy was staying while she worked.

Mom turns against her, kicks her and her child out after three weeks. I was SHOCKED by this.
In the beginning of May, i finally send her money (CAN$200.00) out of the blue. She had no idea what to say to me when she saw all the money.
Then as we chat, we sometimes have little tiffs, and she snaps at me and accuses me of thinking she's a liar - because of some of the negative ("she's probably a scammer") comments, in here, had made me suspicious and i questioned some of her actions.

She's told me twice, so far, "If you think that i am dishonest, leave, and i'll send back your money if you want it back. I told you that i don't like gifts from strangers. I didn't ask for this effing money".

I keep telling her, "It was a gift. It's for you and your boy. I just like to know how it's being stretched out."

She even told me recently that if i was to go there to see her, she doesn't want her family to know me because they will be asking for money and pressuring her to squeeze money out me for THEM. She says that we'd have to go somewhere else far from the family just to have a nice time. She is embarrassed by her family. She's even told me when she leaves The PH
she probably won't go back if she has her both sons. That's how bad it is for her.
She's told me several times that all she wants is a nice man who will just love her, help her succeed and not keep her down or control her, and who will accept her two kids.
She's said, "I don't care about money."

And she knows from day one that i am not a well-off guy - i clearly laid it all out for her so she knows how little i get. I was never even thinking of being her online "boyfriend", so what would i care if i tell her the truth about me and my income. She was curious and i told her everything. I am not breaking any laws by telling the truth. I am NO player. I'm a far cry from being the slightest bit pretentious. I can be quite self-deprecating.
THAT doesn't mean that i can't go work. I can, but i am enjoying my life too much. I do what i want when i want. I have no debts. I've traveled when i was younger. I don't need or want much, these days. I have everything that interests me at my fingertips. I've bought all i want and need. I use Cubase Pro 8 to compose music. And i still squirrel money away every month by being frugal to the max.

If i can get her here to stay with me?, that would be a positive game changer. I would gladly work at something to support them.
My ex-wife was earning CHF95,000.00 per year, almost tax-free, too, and was going for my financial juggler. I withdrew from the workforce - she didn't need a cent from me but she wanted everything. She got nothing.

And as far as her two kids go.
Me? I love kids. She's got two boys. COOL! That's a bass player and a drummer.
And she sings very well, too - like a songbird.
I don't know, guys.
Cupid shot me right in the butt cheek. Her's too, i am certain of it.
What bugs me the most is i am 37 years older than she is. I NEVER thought THIS would happen to ME.  It wasn't my plan for this to develop by talking to her in chat. It was only until four months passed by when i realized, "We've been in chat for four months??? It seems like a week has passed by."
Some "force" told me to go back and read her profile. Is this freeking destiny?
I wanted a younger woman because i am too fit and active (and cool) for the grandmother types MY own age. God made my wish come true. Thank You, Jesus.
And it seems she's found who she's wanted, a cool, young-looking older man with experience, who loves/plays music and likes to sing karaoke, who loves kids, doesn't drink, smoke, does drugs nor gambles. I am a family guy with no family. She seems to NEED a brand-new family.
Women my age find me WAY too young because they are too old acting - watching TV all night out of shape, bad diets, taking meds - they'll only slow me down and make me get fat.
Or they look great but are on drugs or are drinkers or smokers or have been abused too much and are cold, greedy and bitter.
The younger ones in my culture think i am too old. And i think i am too old for them because we share the same culture. 
So what does a guy do?! I gave up and used porn for my needs and i focus on music. No more arguing about money and sex like with my ex-wife - she was charging way too much, anyway lol  - Swiss diplomat - UGH! lol
But how could i let THIS happen? Am i even in control of this situation? Is it fate? Pffft! No idea. She's only been with one guy - the father of her two kids. And from what she tells me, i'll have to teach her (ahem) "everything".
She loves blue-eyed blondes with hairy, blond bodies. Well, that's me. I don't look my age (slim, fit, flexible runner), long, blond-haired (down my back) guitarist. With the classic horseshoe male pattern baldness. 
And i adore her looks and her mind. She is so smart and wise in many ways. I often think a forty-year-old is typing her messages.
And i tell her so many times, "What do you want with me? With your great looks, great body and lovely face, your great mind, that hair, perfect teeth, angelic voice, your wonderful sense of humor, your sense of dignity and your immense can have any well-off guy you want.. Why me?"
I am almost trying to push her away. She won't go away. What is God trying to tell us?
I didn't meet her in some cheesy dating site. Totally a chance meeting - OR was it?
Pfft! What the fu...?

Now, we are having this new tiff because i finally have my studio set up and i am recording again. Now my mic works, so we can voice chat instead of spending long hours texting messages back and forth in messenger. And i don't have a home phone - don't need one. And i am really not fond of wifi technology.
When i use someone's cell phone, i always have to ask "Which button do i push to send the dialed number?" Nobody has to worry about leaving their phones near me because i don't even know how to turn the things on. lol
It's bothersome to have to spend two to four minutes typing each message and then having to wait several minutes for the connection to transfer the words from my side of the planet to her side of the planet when it could take only thirty-seconds to just say it. 
But she's way too shy, and she can talk only for about 30 seconds to me live and then she can't contain herself from giggling, and she hangs up because she feels too embarrassed, and she feels her English is not good enough and it IS good. She even has a really nice, and attractive accent, and she doesn't sound awkward. Her pronunciation is really good. She's well - versed. She knows lots of English exprersisons.
 I want to teach her how to speak French because if she wants to come here to work and to live and be with me, she will need French because Montreal is a French-speaking city. It's the official language, here.
And she finds me "bossy"...(rolls eyes) well, "bossy", it seems, to her, means that i am a deep well of information and i keep giving her advice and she feels inadequate and maybe "insecure". You know?  She feels inferior to me in a live voice chat.

But i tell her, "And what about when you come here and see me face to face? shall we communicate? With you on the sofa texting on your phone and me at the computer, typing?" I tell her, "It's time to put the car in second gear, now. It's a time to break some ice".
She can't handle a live voice chat without busting a rib laughing aftetr a few seconds. It's cute. lol

I duuno. I'm pretty confused about all of this. I was caught off guard. I don't know if i should feel glad or almost angry.
I'll end this someone can find a petty reason to criticize me to make himself feel better than me.
Hey, dude (you know who you are), i'm a welfare recipient, living in low-cost housing. What do you want from me? To feel worse??


--- Quote from: David690 on May 23, 2019, 06:54:25 PM ---Sorry to read about your situation and the opinion that you are developing about this country.  Filipino families are, by and large, loving and caring, but of course there are exceptions, and without knowing all the details it's impossible to understand the situation in your ladies case.
As others have said opening a bank account is not so difficult and actually not so different to UK.  She will need the minimum deposit, proof of identity, utility bills etc and yes proof of income.
Try not to be so harsh on a country you have not even visited, i hope you will do make a visit some day and see it for yourself.

--- End quote ---

My recent post addresses why i feel the way i do i.
Even Filipinos and expats are online in YouTube expressing anger at their PH families.

I found out earlier today that she's started being a representative selling some products. I don't want to say what it is because it might expose her identity.

As far as making a visit there. There's no need to do that, i can see photos and drone footage shots and be amazed. I don't need photos of me there.
Thailands looks more appealing to me as i am (was) the third Thai chef (apprentice) in an Authentic Thai restaurant.
A beach is a beach to me, and i fear stepping into the ocean. I'm a big-city boy.
I hope to smell the ocean in her hair, soon enough.

Yes, i heard all about the loving, close Filipino families, but hers is not one of them, it seems.

I was thinking about going there, at one point.
I would just need a passport at CAN$160.00 and a visa, BUT i would feel so bad, there, knowing what i know just by researching the place because of her and wanting to know about her culture, food etc.

I've decided IF i ever go there, this is what i would more than likely do:
I would find a nice family and ask them if i could live in their house, and i would pay them the hotel rate daily, and there would have to be no underage girls in that house because i don't want to be accused of being alone with a female child because of their law forbidding that.
No way, José, would i put myself in that nutty situation. 

I would feel horrible, there, i'm sure.
If i hadn't met my PH girlfriend (AND THAT FEELS so STRANGE to say openly - "my GF"), i would probably never let these thoughts enter my mind and bother me  - because i would not be seeing things through her eyes. But i see the PH through her eyes, only. I look at the photos and videos of beaches and all i can think about are people living in the forests struggling to survive; the elderly begging for money; the MAIDS being sold for US$4000.00 and they get beaten and raped and even murdered and then they come home and are given "I am a Filipino Hero" hat to walk through the airport.
I am so sad.
I WANT her here, MAN. I NEED her, here.
I'm supposed to go there and see her, and then, i LEAVE her there and come back home?
I'd FEEL even worse than i do now. I'd rather stay here and keep saving money and send her some to keep her afloat.

I've seriously thought of going to all the Embassies and Consulate Generals and sitting with the Ambassadors or Consulate Generals in my city to hand out her CV personally, and give an info sheet about her, with a photo and tell them that SHE really wants/needs to work in Montreal as a maid in a SAFE environment.
I've thought, if i have to beg on her behalf, i will.
What stops me is my freeking age.
They'll look at me and then her photo (or her age on paper) and i suddenly look like a dirty old man who just wants to get my "piece of tail" in my city using their assistance.

I could mail it to them or just drop it off at the reception desk. Hmm. (light bulb moment)

I've even contacted maid services in my city and asked them to consider her for legal employment.
I've even asked some of my affluent friends here for help. They have connections. But that was before i realized that we've fallen in love.....HOLY CRAP... what i am saying, now?? Now, i openly admit that i love her.

I feel kind of stupid and naive saying these things to a bunch of guys who are probably shaking their heads at this post lol

I suddenly JUST had this thought of me next month posting how it all didn't work, how she was using me or something. What can i say?...sigh.
I'll look then as naive as i feel now. PFFFT!

She'll be waking up, presently.  I wonder how it will go, today, in chat.
I feel miserable, man. Horrible.

(What have i done to Robbie_d, this time?!)

(OH! My hour is up, already, doc? Aww. But i still don't feel any better, though! Yea, okay, i know, i gotta get off the couch, now.)




I used 3rd class because that is what I meant!  I know the terms 1st, 2nd, 3rd World and developing countries also.  I have lived here for 10 years and used the term that I feel actually applies.  I live with the "brown outs", lack of timely responses from police/ambulances, etc.  The country is definitely 3rd class compared to the USA and the counties of Europe that I resided in for 9 years.  I see the poverty and filth here on a daily basis.  I don't pay extra for Youtube or Google it comes with my internet plan.  You have made all these assumptions about the Philippines but you have never set foot in the country.  You recommend everyone strike, yet most need to work daily here just to survive.  I have in-laws that are OFW, school teachers, barangay officials etc., but non really earn much money.  What I have learned about family here is that the children basically have been raised to take care of the parents in their later years.  Not necessarily the view in most western countries.  Yes many families look at the child married to a foreigner as having married a walking ATM.  This is something each foreigner and his spouse need to determine how to handle whether they live in the Philippines or aboard.  For my spouse and I living here we help when there is a valid need not just a want from the in-laws.  We have paid college tuition at times so a niece/nephew can finish the curriculum, buried my father -law because the family did not have the funds, etc.  That is just life here in the Philippines.  I did not come here to change the Philippines because that is impossible for me to do, it is their country and the Filipinos must do that.  My purpose is to provide a better life for my spouse now and in the future after I am gone.  My wife thankfully will receive more after my demise than her school teacher in-law salary is while working.



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