Living in The Philippines > Relationships

my sad story

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clee:
Here's my sad story.   

I was very clear when I started seeing my girl.   I was short term in Cebu City.  So, by definition, ours had to be a short term relationship.  However, I stayed longer than planned -  we dated 3 months - and I FELL IN LOVE.

I would see her once or twice a week, then she would disappear, and be reachable only by text.  I knew that the best explanation for her "disappearances" was that she was seeing someone else.  But, because I didn't want an exclusive relationship, that was perfectly acceptable.   I set my expectations for once or twice a week, continued dating other girls and things were fine.

During this time, I helped her financially, paid rent and other miscellaneous "emergencies". Things could have continued like that and it would have been great.  But, I screwed it up...  I took her on a couple of trips.  Spent more quality time with her, and during these trips, I fell in love.  I started listening and partially believing when she told me that "I was the only one."  Even though, she would only be available once or twice a week and completely disappear for the rest.

But then, my failsafe kicked in.  My exit flight was scheduled and I left Cebu City and said goodbye to my girl.  Saying goodbye was one of those difficult things to do.  My heart was breaking.  We were supposed to spend our last days together, but she had another "emergency" and I only saw her for a few hours before my flight.  Those few hours were the hottest and saddest hours of my life. I left heartbroken and completely flustered.

After I left Cebu, we communicated.   We video chatted almost daily and nightly.  Honestly, she was more available and communicative when I was out of the country.  We were both sad that I was gone, but I was safely out of the Philippines.

Some of you may guess what happens next. 

She told me she was pregnant with my child.  Before you tell me of the stupidity of an unplanned pregnancy, I would characterize myself as careful, but imperfect.  So, my being a father is IMPROBABLE, but possible.  So, I came back to Cebu City.  We had a great week or so, she was incredibly available that week.  This is where I let myself believe even more that I was the only one.  Then she disappeared again (that's what started my previous post).

Wait!  There's a plot twist!  I got access to her FB page.

She made a friend request.  I'm guessing that it was accidental.  When you're given the keys to Pandora's box, it's impossible to resist.  I opened it and looked inside.

Here's what I found, but I would characterize as okay:  She was dating someone else and had been for most of our relationship. As I said earlier, that was expected and perfectly acceptable.


Here's what's not OK, in chronicle order.  The following is a mixture of my recollections/notes and timing of her FB posts.
1.  While Iím out of the country, she asked for $400 to pay for her mother's heart procedure.
2.  Her FB shows engagement rings on that day.  (I'm guessing, I paid for those rings).
3.  FB: They're  engaged.
4.  The day after their engagement, she notifies me that she's pregnant and that "I'm the only one"
5.  So, I came back to Cebu city.
6.  She asked for $200 to pay for her mother's oxygen/medicine.
7.  The next day, Her FB status changed to "married".  I'm guessing, I paid for something marriage related.
8.  She tells me her mom died (nothing on FB about this - Iím guessing, her Momís not dead).

She may have figured out her FB mistake.  We havenít talked since and werenít supposed to for the rest of this week.  Iím currently trying to figure out next steps.

Hereís what I know:
 My being a father is highly improbable.  Itís more likely sheís pregnant with his child or sheís NOT pregnant.  I saw her last at around the 8 week mark and thereís no baby bump indication.
I crossed over from ďcasual flingĒ to ďscammedĒ when she asked for the big sums of money for her Mom and diverted it to engagement rings.
Itís one thing to date, itís another to be engaged and/or married.
I will NEVER SEE HER AGAIN

Hereís the last thing I know:  Even though Iíve been scammed, the thought and knowledge that I will never see her again, breaks my heart.

User444:
I'm sorry bro. Thank you sharing. I'm sure you know what to do, but I would say cut off all communication entirely. She sounds like a pro. If she wants to prove that the baby is yours, get a DNA test. That is the only reason I would communicate with her. She sounds very deceptive. 

jjcabgou:
ummmmmm :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X

MotorSarge:
I'll say it again...plenty of other beautiful fish in the sea just waiting to be caught without playing games.

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