Living In The Philippines Forum

Living in The Philippines => Expat life in Philippines => Topic started by: hayling on August 14, 2017, 02:51:19 AM

Title: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: hayling on August 14, 2017, 02:51:19 AM
I have been planning for over a year to come over, and live in a quiet area, Lezo, Aklan, with my dear friend, who I met on FB
We talk every day, and she is geniune, but now my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.

I get everything from the humidity, the begging, the crime, terrorism, all which are in the US also.
I guess I just am looking for a balance from those there, to say I can make it and survive, especially in a quiet area, very rural in a small community. I know life will be totally different, that is the appeal to break away from the stresses of NYC, and I am open eyed to know that there are different stresses there.

I can survive on my monthly pension, and for the last months this has been my ambition, but those here are constantly bombarding me with links, to all the downsides, and I don't seem to have anyone, apart from the couple of people I know there in The Philippines to support my ambition.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Lee2 on August 14, 2017, 03:37:30 AM
My opinion, don't ever let others tell you how to live your life and especially those who only read about the Philippines. I had the same thing happen to me over 23 years ago and had I foolishly listened, then I would have missed out on one fantastic lady and all the happiness she and our time in the Philippines has brought into my life. You can always marry your lady and then bring her back to the U.S. if that is where life leads you but you will never know if you can hit the ball or if the Philippines will be for you, if you never get up to bat.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Hestecrefter on August 14, 2017, 05:29:32 AM

 but those here are constantly bombarding me with links, to all the downsides, and I don't seem to have anyone, apart from the couple of people I know there in The Philippines to support my ambition.

Before you departed the U.K. to live in New York, did you have friends and family bombarding you with material related to the downsides of living in the U.S. and NYC in particular?  As you acknowledge, lots of bad stuff there too, but that did not stop you.  So why balk at the Phiiippines?

Perhaps you should introduce the naysayers to this forum, where they can read the posts of many here who have made comfortable lives for themselves in the Phils.  Anyway, I think you have little to lose by at least making the trip and checking it all out.  As long as you have an exit strategy.

On a personal note, I made my first trip to the RP about 23 years ago.  I did not like it at all.  I could not wait to leave.  But, my gf was from there and I went along with making twice-yearly trips from our home in SoCal where we were then living.  After a few of those trips, my views changed and I found myself not wanting to leave.  We moved there in 1998 and I stayed until 2002.  I am now married to a different Filipina and living in Canada.  I would not rule out moving back to the RP.  I would choose just about anyplace there over NYC.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: copusmaximus on August 14, 2017, 06:28:05 AM
like others have said in many posts before this take a trip visit the girl visit the area have open mind open eyes closed wallet lol .try it first then if all goes well make full proper plans to make the big move .
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: hitekcountry on August 14, 2017, 11:21:57 AM
You didn’t say whether or not you have already visited the Philippines. If you have not yet visited then I would say that absolutely must be your first step. You’ll learn so much more from a visit then from what you can read or from advice from others or any other way.

Then go from there.

Don’t listen to others, you can find trouble anywhere or you can choose to avoid it. Just use common sense and you’ll be fine.

I've been to the Philippines twice and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.

Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am on August 14, 2017, 11:31:38 AM
Boots on the ground is the only way you will find out if the Philippines is for you.
I would only suggest not living in a rural area near your Filipino extended family, unless you don't mind roughing it and putting up with your extended family's dramas. I've been there and I didn't like it. I prefer the more modern life with all the amenities.
I'm a Fil/Am and grewup in the U.S. for 40 yrs with American tastes and behavior. So, I prefer the modern lifestyle.
It's just my wife and myself living in our home in a quiet, clean and safe gated subdivision with all the modern amenities and conviencies. We've lived here since 1998 and plan to stay permenantly.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: BudM on August 14, 2017, 01:16:08 PM
Hey man, yeah, do not make a decision without first coming here.  Spend some time here.  If you then decide to move here, and you can as you say, survive on your monthly pension, then you better have a backup plan if something goes wrong.  It is not as inexpensive to live here as some think.  Not if you are used to a western lifestyle anyway.

I decided 9 years ago that I wanted to retire here as I felt I knew a lot about the Philippines.  When I retired in January of 2013, over the course of the next few months, I got rid of everything.  And I mean everything.  All I had left in the US was bank accounts to go back to if need be.  I made two trips a year in 2011 and 2012 prior to moving and it was at the beginning of that period of time that I met my wife.  I lived here for 6 months when I got married for the first and hopefully only time and I was halfway through 60 before my first and for sure only child. My boy is only 3 and a few months but luckily, he has someone reliable and trustworthy to chase after him. I am living a comfortable and happy life now as everything has been great since I retired.  Just a little bit of stress on rare occasion but, no where near what the stress was during my working career.

On the other hand, I have seen and mainly heard of expats who outspend their available funds.  Right now, I just saw where one is begging for money to cover a trip from within the Philippines to a destination within the Philippines.  Not the first time he has begged either.  Well, if you ask me, those several big purchases with a main one apparently being more than you really need can take a toll on your funding.

So, I guess what you really need to do if you decide to move here and not look back, just make sure you got the money to do it.  Oh yeah.  And if you do, don't be one of those guys who constantly moans and groans about everything that you don't like or feel is wrong in the Philippines.  Because that makes you just feel miserable.  No matter where you live, it is up to you to make it a good or bad experience.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: lost_in_samoa on August 14, 2017, 04:59:55 PM
my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.

I once had a female cousin tell me that she wanted better for me than Ester.  Doubtless she had one of her BFF's in mind.  Lost track on how many divorces she's had.

In about '99 or 2K,  I sat down with all the WSJ articles on "Are you saving enough to retire?" and put a pencil to it. Math did not and never would work out.  After some serious talks, we decided on retiring to the RP.

So we went on a harsh financial plan.  Started working, paid off, and saved up.  Started looking for land in 2004. Purchased our farm in 2008.  Retired in 2010.

Over the years we vacationed here 10 or so times.  We have spent a good deal of our lives together on the fringes of civilization.  I had a good idea what I was getting into.  But it was still a bit of a shock.

We have never liked the "modern" lifestyle.  Don't like being spoon-fed shrink wrapped, marketing conceived, legal department approved, crap.  So we live an agrarian lifestyle in the provinces.

It is more expensive living here than you might think.  Frustrations are bountiful.  But it can fit some folks.  Trick is ..... are you one of them?   

If your serious, try before you buy.  Vacation and live like the Barangay does.  Still like it?  Start saving and planning.

Hope this helps.



Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: M.C.A. on August 14, 2017, 09:29:44 PM
Hayling you'll do just fine, you're only concern will be dealing immigration because it sounds like you're single, that's something you could work on before you get here, it's a long trip and no fun dealing with your immigration status here, you will want to stay. Philippine Consulate General in NY.  http://www.newyorkpcg.org/ (http://www.newyorkpcg.org/)
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: iamjames on August 14, 2017, 09:51:15 PM
Hayling you'll do just fine, you're only concern will be dealing immigration because it sounds like you're single, that's something you could work on before you get here, it's a long trip and no fun dealing with your immigration status here, you will want to stay. Philippine Consulate General in NY.  [url]http://www.newyorkpcg.org/[/url] ([url]http://www.newyorkpcg.org/[/url])


???? Being single has nothing to do with immigration here. Dealing with immigration is as easy here as tying ones shoelaces. Just come any time you want and stay for up to three years  (then leave for a day and come back for 3 more years). You will have to extend your visa every two months or six months.

My advice is not about living here but the lady you met online. There are 100 scams for every genuine case. Be very careful. If she has already asked for some money (for anything from feeding the hungry baby to medical treatment for the sick Caribou) the be wary. This is only something you will learn from lots of experience so possibly I am wasting my time even trying to warn you.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: FastWalk on August 14, 2017, 11:00:32 PM
If life is great where your at,  stay.    In my opinion the chances of getting into trouble for any variety of reasons are about the same in any place.   It is just that the trouble will be different,  but trouble all the same.

If I was going to run out of money,  Philippines is one of the last place on earth I would want to be.  If I had enough to get buy,  then it has many good points and for many of us the love of our life is either from or living there.

I still remember military basic training,  wow it was a culture shock...  And many told me not to do it for lots of reasons.   Best choice I ever made.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: JoeLP on August 15, 2017, 01:43:23 AM
Iamjames made a very good point.  Immigration is VERY easy to get things done with.  So don't worry about the marriage side.
Other great points, if you want to live here like you do in any first world country...the cost is pretty much near the same. 
If you are planning a more rural living, like I did and am doing now, make sure you have someone you trust very much.  My Tina is amazing and did a lot of the work making my transition smooth.  I do live very easily on my pension.  But I know for a fact if I wanted to move into Cebu City or Manila or any other major city, it would be a whole different story.
I looked up the place you mentioned over on Panay island.  You should be safe there.  You won't be too far from where the founder of Precious Moments retired to and I believe most ceramic tall dolls for precious moments(not the figurines, but the 18 inch dolls) are still made at some Precious Moments park setup there. 
You should be very safe form any of the muslim terrorism and probably safe even form the NPA.  More of less these days the NPA doesn't mess with foreigners as much as they battle the government.
Also you are far from any of the cities.  Almost opposite from Iloilo.  So the costs should be low.  But, the "fine living" of first world is probably not to much in view in that area also.

Best of luck.  And as others have said, I suggest boots on the ground before the move.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: hayling on August 17, 2017, 12:41:43 AM
Thank you all for all your words of encouragement and giving me the balance I was looking for. I think people are so quick to see the downsides of everything, and maybe that is just an understandable warning of the hazards of live anywhere.
I thank you all for taking the time to write. I have never been to The Philippines before, and to be honest, I have only been to countries that have a similar western culture, so I am aware and excited of the challenges ahead.

I will be coming soon, I always really was, but I was looking just for what you guys have given me, which is the words of positive encouragement, so thanks again.

Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: hayling on August 17, 2017, 03:43:44 AM
If life is great where your at,  stay.    In my opinion the chances of getting into trouble for any variety of reasons are about the same in any place.   It is just that the trouble will be different,  but trouble all the same.

If I was going to run out of money,  Philippines is one of the last place on earth I would want to be.  If I had enough to get buy,  then it has many good points and for many of us the love of our life is either from or living there.

I still remember military basic training,  wow it was a culture shock...  And many told me not to do it for lots of reasons.   Best choice I ever made.

Thanks, actually I KNOW she is not a scam, we have known each other for well over a year, never asked once for money, works hard herself for very little, and has great life values. We talk on the phone almost every day and video chat. We even have a house lined up which belongs to her cousin who permenantly works away, but we will pay her a small monthly rent of 3,000PHP per month, wi-fi is an extra 1,000..
I will maybe have to put air-con in, but as far as I have looked, it is all as it seems, but thanks for the heads up, which always make sense
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: hayling on August 17, 2017, 03:51:53 AM
Iamjames made a very good point.  Immigration is VERY easy to get things done with.  So don't worry about the marriage side.
Other great points, if you want to live here like you do in any first world country...the cost is pretty much near the same. 
If you are planning a more rural living, like I did and am doing now, make sure you have someone you trust very much.  My Tina is amazing and did a lot of the work making my transition smooth.  I do live very easily on my pension.  But I know for a fact if I wanted to move into Cebu City or Manila or any other major city, it would be a whole different story.
I looked up the place you mentioned over on Panay island.  You should be safe there.  You won't be too far from where the founder of Precious Moments retired to and I believe most ceramic tall dolls for precious moments(not the figurines, but the 18 inch dolls) are still made at some Precious Moments park setup there. 
You should be very safe form any of the muslim terrorism and probably safe even form the NPA.  More of less these days the NPA doesn't mess with foreigners as much as they battle the government.
Also you are far from any of the cities.  Almost opposite from Iloilo.  So the costs should be low.  But, the "fine living" of first world is probably not to much in view in that area also.

Best of luck.  And as others have said, I suggest boots on the ground before the move.

Thank you so much for the valuable insight, and all the information. I am under no illusion that moving to a rural simple life, where resources are totally different will take some geting used to, but that is the appeal for me. I know I may say different when I get there, and I know there are no creature comforts that I have now, but to strip life down to basics for me after living in the greed of NY and other places, attracts me.
We have a house which is very low cost, less than 3000PHP per month it looks better than this now, but it is large, and has a shower and bathroom, real matress bed and more. I want to grow my own veg, we already have so many fruit trees, and Lezo and Kalibo are close enough for most facilities.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: iamjames on August 17, 2017, 01:54:24 PM
Looks and sounds like an excellent situation, Hayling. Just don't burn your boats yet in The US and don't make any hasty permanent moves here.  Come and experience a crazy kind of life you could not imagine. But always keep your door open for exit.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: balutsky on August 17, 2017, 04:21:52 PM
I have been planning for over a year to come over, and live in a quiet area, Lezo, Aklan, with my dear friend, who I met on FB
We talk every day, and she is geniune, but now my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.

I get everything from the humidity, the begging, the crime, terrorism, all which are in the US also.
I guess I just am looking for a balance from those there, to say I can make it and survive, especially in a quiet area, very rural in a small community. I know life will be totally different, that is the appeal to break away from the stresses of NYC, and I am open eyed to know that there are different stresses there.

I can survive on my monthly pension, and for the last months this has been my ambition, but those here are constantly bombarding me with links, to all the downsides, and I don't seem to have anyone, apart from the couple of people I know there in The Philippines to support my ambition.

Thank you all for all your words of encouragement and giving me the balance I was looking for. I think people are so quick to see the downsides of everything, and maybe that is just an understandable warning of the hazards of live anywhere.
I thank you all for taking the time to write. I have never been to The Philippines before, and to be honest, I have only been to countries that have a similar western culture, so I am aware and excited of the challenges ahead.

I will be coming soon, I always really was, but I was looking just for what you guys have given me, which is the words of positive encouragement, so thanks again.
Lots of good tips from a lot of experienced folks.  I do not want to sounds like scrooge who stole Christmas and I hope I won't sound so negative.  I just want to be objective.  I'm a Fil-am and just want to be honest with you.  I'm not saying that she is not legit, but be very careful with the girl you haven't personally met yet.  There are a lot of scammers here in the PI.  I understand that you have been talking to her every day and night and everything is great.  However, it is not the same as 2 people living on the same roof together.  You may find out that once you are living together that she may not be the same person that you were talking on the phone before.  She may not be asking for money now but be prepared once you start living with her. She lives in the province in a small town and I can bet my paycheck (although it is not much) that she has a huge extended family.  Be prepared to support them all especially if you will be moving in their town.  But that is your choice, to support them or not.  However, if you decide not to support them, be ready for the consequence.   Also, Pinoy in-laws are different.  They love to get involved with their families personal affairs (when you marry a Pinay, you marry the whole family).  Me personally, I would not live close to my Pinoy in laws and I am a Fil am like I mentioned before.  I want some buffer zone.

At least you will be going in the province.  I can say as a matter of fact that it is a lot cleaner than NY city, inconveniences aside (my kids  lives in NY city, both in Williamsburg, Brooklyn)  :).

Now my favorite show on buffer zone.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzxQc7jGehA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzxQc7jGehA)




Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: M.C.A. on August 17, 2017, 06:00:59 PM
Hayling nice photos of your home and this is how I live also out in the Provincial area you be fine and actually it appears you can grow many crops, good luck.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: HappyBee on August 18, 2017, 05:32:34 AM
When I decided to come here pretty much no one told me the downsides - I had to find these out myself the hard way. What I would change if I could do it over again - not living close to family (I would choose a safe place at least 6-8 hours away), and making sure I had a good, profitable business up and running before putting my roots down in a particular place. I also learned that if I am ever quoted a price for building something, I need to double or triple the quote and that's what I will really pay.

In my experience a lot of foreigners run into many unexpected costs once they decide to set up a permanent abode in the Philippines... and like others have said it is more expensive to live here than most people think. Exchange rates can change, either in our favour or otherwise, and the price of everything here seems to keep going up and up. So if a foreigner is buying a car, house and business and everything costs more than they expected, they can end up with very little savings in the end. This is why it's good to have a plan to get out if you need to.

I would also suggest having a good read of the travel advice from your government regarding the Philippines and to monitor the local news - you can follow it on Facebook or on the web - so you can get a feel for what is happening in the country in recent times.

One more little thing - not saying this about your girlfriend at all, but in relation to all people you will meet here... but in my experience regarding people, I have found that people here are very good at putting on a positive face with foreigners and not revealing their true selves. I have had 'friends' and 'family' whom I thought were fantastic, reliable and friendly people, only to realise after about two to three years that the person was putting on a front to me because I am a foreigner, wanting to get on my good side for financial gain.
After a few years and the person realising that I am not an ATM, the demeanor changed and I began to see the person's true personality and ways. Some of them have outright stabbed me in the back.

All I am saying is to be careful about people. Unfortunately in the Philippines people will see you primarily for the colour of your skin: you are a potential source of cash, and people will pull all kinds of tricks, including Academy Award class acting and crocodile tears, just to bleed a bit of money out of you. And later on if you need help these people are nowhere to be found. I don't mean to be negative, just telling you what I wish someone had told me.

Cheers.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: lost_in_samoa on August 18, 2017, 07:27:04 AM
I also learned that if I am ever quoted a price for building something, I need to double or triple the quote and that's what I will really pay.

The "Long-Nose Tax".


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM_BXcC-U1w

Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: grahamw on August 18, 2017, 02:39:22 PM
To the O.P.

By all means go the the Phils and meet up with your online girlfriend.

Many others have trodden the same path, but bear in mind that all of this is mere daydreaming until after that has happened. No offense intended, and good luck to you. Some very good advice given in this thread.   :)

To 'lost_in_samoa':

Thanks for the PM, but I apparently cannot reply at this stage, (due to my newbie status ?).

It appears that we are neighbors.  Small world.   :D


Edit to add: You have now reached Full Member. You may now reply to PMs. Enjoy..
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: M.C.A. on August 18, 2017, 03:10:22 PM
Hayling... Many lessons learned on the actual costs of items, vegetables and products, never send a family remember to buy for you, do this yourself and also check out your area and look for the lower prices, it's a chore but you might need to leave the girl friend at the home and do this on your own, Filippina has no patience and they don't like wandering around looking for the lowest prices, they pay whatever because it's not their money or they have in-laws (slaves) that go and get the items and you'll pay more.

Another learning lesson get rid of the wife's special assistant or in-law slave, if mother is in the house evict her, give her money to hit the road, if this is the mothers home than your stuck with her and all her kids, it'll be costly, sugar, cream, coffee, rice, soaps, detergents will all evaporate tiny bag by tiny bag to her kids.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: JoeLP on August 18, 2017, 09:24:22 PM
Hayling...there is the culture.  It is something that will be hard for any pinay to overcome if she's still near her family.  And, if you do get lucky, like I did, her family will not overcome it.

This is a sharing culture.  Family to family in many cases they all just take stuff that other family members have bought.  Food, clothes, tools(brooms, mops, cooking devices, etc.)  This is just typical.  And if one of them family members marries a foreigner...money joins that list.

Tina put the stop even before I arrived on the money or anything of ours.  We have our own home, but, we did build it on her families compound.  Mistake #1.  They never once asked for money or food.  But, they did, for at least the first 2 years, just come over and take stuff.  Could be anything from our toilet brush to our Kitchenaid Mixer.  Just take it and bring it to their homes and not return it.  So, that was a problem.  Over now, after much word fighting...but...it is part of the culture.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Hestecrefter on August 18, 2017, 11:44:16 PM
Hayling... Many lessons learned on the actual costs of items, vegetables and products, never send a family remember to buy for you, do this yourself and also check out your area and look for the lower prices, it's a chore but you might need to leave the girl friend at the home and do this on your own, Filippina has no patience and they don't like wandering around looking for the lowest prices, they pay whatever because it's not their money or they have in-laws (slaves) that go and get the items and you'll pay more.


Interesting observation.  My experience there was generally quite different.  Once a vendor saw a white face, that meant the price would go up.  I recall one time in Tuguegarao, buying lechon manok at that stand that had been there forever (maybe still there) on a corner near Jollibee and the bus station.  If the gf or a member of her family went to get it, the price then was P140. I was driving home alone from Centro one day and the gf asked me to pick up lechon. They wanted to charge me P240. I told them in Tagalog that I knew the price was P140 just last week and that's what I ended up paying.  Illocano is the local language, but they understand Tagalog.  I would have said nothing and walked away had there been anyone there at the time apart from the vendors.  It would have been an error in judgment for anyone - much less a kano - to call them out and show publicly that they tried to fool you.  They would lose face.  You could find a knife in your back later.

I found the same with buying land, particularly in the province.  A lot of land in rural areas is not list for sale in any formal sense.  But locals know who owns what and what might be for sale.  If a kano drives up to the owner's house in his Nissan Safari (one of our motor vehicles at the time) to inquire about a purchase, it's a safe bet he'll be quoted a higher price than will a local. 
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Hestecrefter on August 19, 2017, 12:59:14 AM
What I would change if I could do it over again - and making sure I had a good, profitable business up and running before putting my roots down in a particular place.

In my experience a lot of foreigners run into many unexpected costs once they decide to set up a permanent abode in the Philippines... and like others have said it is more expensive to live here than most people think. Exchange rates can change, either in our favour or otherwise, and the price of everything here seems to keep going up and up. So if a foreigner is buying a car, house and business and everything costs more than they expected, they can end up with very little savings in the end. This is why it's good to have a plan to get out if you need to.

The notion of having a business, while attractive at first blush, is not for everyone.  It brings to mind the old saying: "How do you make a small fortune in the Philippines?  Start with a large one."

There does seem to be a common line of thought with foreigners coming to the RP that starting a business is a piece of cake.  And that is from folks who never owned and operated a business in their home country.  Yet they think they can do it in the Phils, a foreign land, language and culture.  Not sure what leads to that thinking.

To me, the best advice is not to in any way depend on making money in the Phils.  You should have your financial house in order before you come and have reliable offshore sources of income.  In that case, if you have some capital you can afford to lose, then indulge, if you will, in a starting a business and, if it makes money, regard it as gravy and if it fails, no big deal. 

For those of use who happen to be the sole or principal source of support for our spouses, I think it also of fundamental importance to provide for them when we are gone.  Even with couples the same age, one can easily outlive the other by a fair margin.  So, if you are the provider and you have pension income supporting both of you (and any anak), then make sure there is an adequate survivor benefit or have some other bullet-proof revenue source that will take care of those you leave behind.  I have heard some kanos say; "Well, I bought a house and she'll have that when I'm gone."  Really?  You expect your spouse to have to sell her home in order to survive?  Moreover, property in the Phils can be a hard sell, the money it brings will not likely last and allow a comfortable lifestyle, and that is drawing a long bow and assuming your spouse has the ability to providently manage a large capital sum.  For my own part, my asawa is mid-30s, of modest education and fiscal experience.  She's smart in many ways.  Yet I know to a certainty that if I passed tomorrow and left her $1million (P50 million), the money would be long gone before she reached old age. 

I'll add to this post that I find myself in respectful agreement with HappyBee's comment about living costs in the PI being much higher than some foreigners expect.  It is trite lore that if you move to the PI and think you can live as you did back in the U.S., the U.K., Australia or wherever, but at less cost, you will be disappointed.  One still encounters online comments such as "live like a king in the Phils for $500 or $1,000 per month."  B.S.  That translates to: "Move to the PI, go native and survive on $1,000 per month."  And don't get sick.

I lament that the old Asawa Forum has lapsed into history lo these many years ago.  For awhile, the old posts were still available online.  No more.  There, one learned and experienced member once started a thread sub nom. "Marooned".  It was a sobering tale of those who have moved to the Phils expecting to live the high life at modest cost and found themselves after a few years with not even sufficient funds to buy a ticket back home.  I have witnessed a few marooned types in the Phils myself.  Pitiful.  To one such fellow I "loaned" USD550 to help him buy a ticket out.  He's now in his 60s, working as a pizza delivery driver when he can, in LA.  Don't end up like that. 
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: hayling on August 19, 2017, 05:32:03 AM
Thank you all once again, I have read every word, and would like to reply to you all personally but time prevents that.
I think I am going in there with my eyes wide open, I am not trying to live a western lifestyle there, I am not looking for luxuries in any way, I am not materialistic, and although I love good food and creature comforts, I do want to experience and try to adapt to a basic lifestyle.
That does not mean eating lizards, and succumbing to some aspects, but to be simple and a strip down version of life, which I need in my life now.

Yes, I think the aspects I need to concentarte on and get totally right are banking..I have three UK pensions, which are currently wire transferred into my US account, so I need to work that one out, and next year I will receive my UK State pension.

I need to work a health plan, I am prescribed meds for my heart, but am otherwise in good health, I do realise that PI may not be the easiest place to balance good health care.. I think my other main concern is the total and constant humidity, which seems relenting, but again I hope to adjust in some ways.

I do have a get out if this happens, which is to get back to the UK but I am determined to give this every chance to work, if only that I have met a wonderful person and the relationship is not a blind infatuation, although I accept that has been said many times by many people.

Just one more question, if I bring my US laptop, does anyone know if it will work there, accepting that I will need some kind of universal plug?

Once again, thank you all ofr your very much valued comments which I will keep and refer to in the coming days and weeks
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Lee2 on August 19, 2017, 05:36:58 AM
Quote
if I bring my US laptop, does anyone know if it will work there, accepting that I will need some kind of universal plug?
Yes and no adapter should be necessary, look on your power cord or box and see if it says 110 to 240, if so then you are good to go, as for the plug, they use the same as we use in the U.S. minus the ground, so you might need a 3 to 2 adapter.

Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Hestecrefter on August 19, 2017, 05:56:15 AM

Just one more question, if I bring my US laptop, does anyone know if it will work there, accepting that I will need some kind of universal plug?

I have taken a series of laptops from the U.S. to the PI, including ones made by Dell, Epson, IBM, Toshiba and, most recently, Apple.  All have accepted the current there.  I believe all of the power cords (with those boxes on them) will accept both 110 to 240 volts.  As Lee says, that should be printed on the box.  I have never encountered one that was not able to accept the current that comes out of the wall in both countries.  Some desktops have a switch on the back that allows you to change from 110 v. to 220 v., so no need for a converter.  All you might need would be a 3 to 2 adapter, as Lee suggests.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: David690 on August 19, 2017, 06:07:36 AM
The notion of having a business, while attractive at first blush, is not for everyone.  It brings to mind the old saying: "How do you make a small fortune in the Philippines?  Start with a large one."

There does seem to be a common line of thought with foreigners coming to the RP that starting a business is a piece of cake.  And that is from folks who never owned and operated a business in their home country.  Yet they think they can do it in the Phils, a foreign land, language and culture.  Not sure what leads to that thinking.

To me, the best advice is not to in any way depend on making money in the Phils.  You should have your financial house in order before you come and have reliable offshore sources of income.  In that case, if you have some capital you can afford to lose, then indulge, if you will, in a starting a business and, if it makes money, regard it as gravy and if it fails, no big deal. 

For those of use who happen to be the sole or principal source of support for our spouses, I think it also of fundamental importance to provide for them when we are gone.  Even with couples the same age, one can easily outlive the other by a fair margin.  So, if you are the provider and you have pension income supporting both of you (and any anak), then make sure there is an adequate survivor benefit or have some other bullet-proof revenue source that will take care of those you leave behind.  I have heard some kanos say; "Well, I bought a house and she'll have that when I'm gone."  Really?  You expect your spouse to have to sell her home in order to survive?  Moreover, property in the Phils can be a hard sell, the money it brings will not likely last and allow a comfortable lifestyle, and that is drawing a long bow and assuming your spouse has the ability to providently manage a large capital sum.  For my own part, my asawa is mid-30s, of modest education and fiscal experience.  She's smart in many ways.  Yet I know to a certainty that if I passed tomorrow and left her $1million (P50 million), the money would be long gone before she reached old age. 

I'll add to this post that I find myself in respectful agreement with HappyBee's comment about living costs in the PI being much higher than some foreigners expect.  It is trite lore that if you move to the PI and think you can live as you did back in the U.S., the U.K., Australia or wherever, but at less cost, you will be disappointed.  One still encounters online comments such as "live like a king in the Phils for $500 or $1,000 per month."  B.S.  That translates to: "Move to the PI, go native and survive on $1,000 per month."  And don't get sick.

I lament that the old Asawa Forum has lapsed into history lo these many years ago.  For awhile, the old posts were still available online.  No more.  There, one learned and experienced member once started a thread sub nom. "Marooned".  It was a sobering tale of those who have moved to the Phils expecting to live the high life at modest cost and found themselves after a few years with not even sufficient funds to buy a ticket back home.  I have witnessed a few marooned types in the Phils myself.  Pitiful.  To one such fellow I "loaned" USD550 to help him buy a ticket out.  He's now in his 60s, working as a pizza delivery driver when he can, in LA.  Don't end up like that.

That is a very good post that Hestecrefter has made and I agree with all that he says.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: HappyBee on August 19, 2017, 12:05:51 PM
The notion of having a business, while attractive at first blush, is not for everyone.  It brings to mind the old saying: "How do you make a small fortune in the Philippines?  Start with a large one."

There does seem to be a common line of thought with foreigners coming to the RP that starting a business is a piece of cake.  And that is from folks who never owned and operated a business in their home country.  Yet they think they can do it in the Phils, a foreign land, language and culture.  Not sure what leads to that thinking.

To me, the best advice is not to in any way depend on making money in the Phils.  You should have your financial house in order before you come and have reliable offshore sources of income.  In that case, if you have some capital you can afford to lose, then indulge, if you will, in a starting a business and, if it makes money, regard it as gravy and if it fails, no big deal. 

Totally agree. We are not all business people! What I kinda meant to point out is not to expect it your first idea to work out straight away if you plan to run a business in the Phils. I have tried a few different things since I came and it was not easy to make a decent profit out of any of them. The locals sometimes will tend to buy from family and friends rather than a foreigner, and your competition is selling things at such a low profit margin that it is difficult to compete.

So for me (who is hoping to one day survive on funds obtained here in the Philippines so that I can preserve my offshore funds), if I was to start all over again, I would probably rent first and make sure I could come up with an idea that works before settling in that area permanently. For now, we are beginning to do ok, but only after years of experimentation and generally observing what works here.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: M.C.A. on August 19, 2017, 03:33:17 PM
Hestecrefter... Good job on buying the chicken at 140 pesos instead of the 250 pesos, and you have made my point by knowing what the prices are or what you expect to pay for meat, vegetables and fruits, an expat will never learn if he keeps sending someone to buy his things.  Example, when we were visiting as tourists the in-laws would get a 50 kilo sack of rice (1993 price) for 3,000 pesos that's what we had to pay and then late on we found out it more like 1000 pesos, another time a helper would run and get my local made hamburgers the price turns out to be 10 pesos but he was telling 15 pesos and he still got a tip for running, not big money but it adds up.

If the price is too much I won't buy it, when you calculate the exchange rate and what you get doesn't' make sense or you'd be better off buying a whole rotessiere chicken for less than an uncooked one you have some issue with the vender and you begin to understand the value of things and what you are willing to pay for them, I think the only time I might pay more for an item is when it's not normally sold in any store and I'll never see it again, things like quality computer chairs at the Japanese surplus, real steel parts for bikes... today I bought a bracket for my bike basket, my bike is surplus from Japan and I had everything for the basket except the upper basket bracket, I paid 100 pesos for original quality.

How is it possible for an expat to understand prices if he doesn't live and learn directly in the markets or in the grocery stores, impossible unless we are constantly buying items, and I don't buy vegetables or fruits in the grocery stores the prices are doubled but from my neighbors mainly or the occasional fruit seller but some items such as lettuce or cheese I have to buy at these chained grocery stores and it's expensive. 

Another note is if you watch how Philippine citizen or (wife) will ask for prices and the reaction they keep it respectful and friendly even if it's high and then work with the price see if you can get if for less, most times you can it comes down to many factors.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: bigrod on August 19, 2017, 07:03:39 PM
My Asawa has since before we were married always gave me the receipt from the market(Waltermart, SM, etc.). To this day I still peruse them, since it gives me an idea of the price.  When it comes to produce like lettuce etc we will drive to Tagayatay to get it, yes the price goes up and down with the season.  Knowing the local prices is also helpful when shopping at S&R when buying the local items there or even buying import items that are sold locally.  Never hurts to know what the locals pay for an item.  I will nicely inform a plengke vendor that I can walk a few vendors over and get it for a better price.  Normally they will sell for the same price because they know you are knowledgeable about the cost and don't want to lose a sale.  The more the expat learns/knows the better of they will be. 

Chuck
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: codefreeze on August 25, 2017, 09:30:15 PM
I have been planning for over a year to come over, and live in a quiet area, Lezo, Aklan, with my dear friend, who I met on FB
We talk every day, and she is geniune, but now my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.
<snip>

Some very good info in this thread. I will just throw in my own two pesos.

Coming back to your main question (see quote) - I wouldn't let others dictate your life direction. I made that mistake for too many years and ended up miserable. As soon as I started living life on my own terms things got a lot better. It put a few people's noses out of joint - family mostly - but that's their problem, not mine.

Life is too short not to follow your heart. You will have an adventure in Phils!

p.s People tend to be negative and imagine all the worst case scenarios. They don't like people upsetting their status quo. When I first went to Thailand I had everything thrown at me from kidnapping, to gold-digging harpies, to AIDS, to poverty. Guess what? None of those terrible things happened!

p.p.s I've also really enjoyed my time in Phils and looking forward to my trip next year.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: trevor on August 26, 2017, 05:02:12 PM
Hayling... Many lessons learned on the actual costs of items, vegetables and products, never send a family remember to buy for you, do this yourself and also check out your area and look for the lower prices, it's a chore but you might need to leave the girl friend at the home and do this on your own, Filippina has no patience and they don't like wandering around looking for the lowest prices, they pay whatever because it's not their money or they have in-laws (slaves) that go and get the items and you'll pay more.

Another learning lesson get rid of the wife's special assistant or in-law slave, if mother is in the house evict her, give her money to hit the road, if this is the mothers home than your stuck with her and all her kids, it'll be costly, sugar, cream, coffee, rice, soaps, detergents will all evaporate tiny bag by tiny bag to her kids.
Just my two cents also. True M.C.A. never let a family member do your shopping. When we used to live in the family compound this one BIL. would do most of the cooking for us, well should i say for the whole extended family as well only that we were the ones providing all the food. Wife would give him P1000.00 to go shop for vegetables etc. Guy never return any change. One day my wife decided to do the shopping only to figure out that he was keeping from P300 to P400. daily. Now P400  for five to six days adds up to about P8000.00 per month. No wonder he volunteered to do the cooking and food shopping. Never trust anyone. To the OP, life is what you make it. Do what you have to do for your own enjoyment. I went through the same like you mentioned. Well to make a long story short this is our 16th. year of marriage with a beautiful 12 yrs. old daughter. Life is good here in the Ph.   Good luck.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: piozam13 on August 27, 2017, 11:14:15 AM
Only you can make your dreams come true.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: M.C.A. on August 27, 2017, 05:13:13 PM
Just my two cents also. True M.C.A. never let a family member do your shopping. When we used to live in the family compound this one BIL. would do most of the cooking for us, well should i say for the whole extended family as well only that we were the ones providing all the food. Wife would give him P1000.00 to go shop for vegetables etc. Guy never return any change. One day my wife decided to do the shopping only to figure out that he was keeping from P300 to P400. daily. Now P400  for five to six days adds up to about P8000.00 per month. No wonder he volunteered to do the cooking and food shopping. Never trust anyone. To the OP, life is what you make it. Do what you have to do for your own enjoyment. I went through the same like you mentioned. Well to make a long story short this is our 16th. year of marriage with a beautiful 12 yrs. old daughter. Life is good here in the Ph.   Good luck.

Good on you Trevor for figuring that out, it's not enough you feed the whole family but they want cash too for their hard work?  LOL.  Hopefully you ditched the extended family we sure did and the Mother in-law was the first culprit and hoodlum to hit the road.

Real happy for you and your family, that's allot of money to lose I couldn't afford to waste 8000 pesos to anyone.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: grahamw on August 28, 2017, 10:00:08 PM
Whenever possible, and  when I need something doing (like construction or transportation) I give my family members employment... at the correct going rate for the work.

So far this has worked out fine. No credit needed. No loans. No loss of face.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: lost_in_samoa on August 29, 2017, 06:41:01 AM
Whenever possible, and  when I need something doing (like construction or transportation) I give my family members employment

For the most part it works out well. 

It does get sticky when relatives are not "motivated".  Letting them go, or garnishment, presents problems.

The best answer, that I have found, is to carefully explain that every piso that is siyang, is one less piso to share.  That is understood easily enough.  And usually works.

The other issue is craftsmanship, (for lack of a better word).  I've spent years teaching that a task involves setting up, doing quality work, and then cleaning up.

We've lost countless piso's because tools/materials are left on the job site, not maintained, laid down where ever convenient, and subsequently damaged or lost.



 
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: David690 on August 30, 2017, 12:26:30 AM
For the most part it works out well. 

It does get sticky when relatives are not "motivated".  Letting them go, or garnishment, presents problems.

The best answer, that I have found, is to carefully explain that every piso that is siyang, is one less piso to share.  That is understood easily enough.  And usually works.

The other issue is craftsmanship, (for lack of a better word).  I've spent years teaching that a task involves setting up, doing quality work, and then cleaning up.

We've lost countless piso's because tools/materials are left on the job site, not maintained, laid down where ever convenient, and subsequently damaged or lost.

It's for those very reasons that I would not employ family members, or anybody else for that matter, that didn't have the requisite skills to carry out the job to my complete satisfaction.  I always want to have the freedom to reprimand or fire anybody that didn't come up to my standards, and that would be difficult, if not impossible, if family were involved.  Menial tasks OK, but nothing that requires any skills or experience. 
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Gray Wolf on September 05, 2017, 02:05:17 AM
When I first told family and friends that I had found a new woman who lives in the PH, I got the same song and dance as everyone else. Too much crime, too many terrorists, the women are all gold diggers, etc, etc. But I felt I had done sufficient research to make my first trip a safe one, so I went. Long story short, Gloria and I celebrated 17 years of blissful marriage Sep 1st
In the time we've been together I've visited numerous times and been to several cities and islands in the archipelago. We've driven all over Luzon, visited beaches, been through the Cordillera mountains several times and built a house. Not one time in all these years have I experienced anything like what people warned me about. We've walked the streets of Manila at night, gone shopping in Quiapo every visit and hung out with locals drinking beer. No problems at all.

I keep my head on a swivel, never flash cash or wear fancy jewelry in public. We travel with family and friends and always have someone watching our backs. I speak enough Tagalog to be polite and maintain a big smile on my face everywhere I go. Can I get myself in trouble? Sure. It would be easy. But it's also relatively easy to not get into trouble and still have a good time.

When we are at home in Bagong Silang, I feel very safe and comfortable. Everything I need is either in my brother in law's sari sari, or close enough that it can be had within a few minutes. Travel to the local malls is fun and I find everyone very helpful and courteous. I've been to the Ace in SM Fairview so many times, they know me by sight when I walk in and are always ready and willing to help me find what I need.

Keep your mind on what's ahead and don't let anyone talk you out of giving yourself a shot at happiness with your new girl. It could be the best move you've ever made.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: grahamw on September 06, 2017, 12:12:24 AM
It's for those very reasons that I would not employ family members, or anybody else for that matter, that didn't have the requisite skills to carry out the job to my complete satisfaction.  I always want to have the freedom to reprimand or fire anybody that didn't come up to my standards, and that would be difficult, if not impossible, if family were involved.  Menial tasks OK, but nothing that requires any skills or experience.

I understand where you're coming from, but I naturally only employ those who are able to do the work competently. They supply their own tools, and work to a very high standard (for the provincial Philippines) at very low cost. Every family is different of course.

As I am a building surveyor, I have no problem supervising the work and in identifying any shortcomings, but we (foreigners) also have to make allowances for where we are, otherwise our 'westerner ways' are not going to contribute to a happy and peaceful way of life.  ;)
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: David690 on September 06, 2017, 12:20:18 AM
I understand where you're coming from, but I naturally only employ those who are able to do the work competently. They supply their own tools, and work to a very high standard (for the provincial Philippines) at very low cost. Every family is different of course.

As I am a building surveyor, I have no problem supervising the work and in identifying any shortcomings, but we (foreigners) also have to make allowances for where we are, otherwise our 'westerner ways' are not going to contribute to a happy and peaceful way of life.  ;)

Yes absolutely agree Graham, we need to take into account where we are living.  I have no issues in principle in using family members if they are capable, the difficulty would come, for me at least, having to pull them up or even get rid of them if they weren't doing a good job.  Would cause more family friction than I would care to deal with.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: ABCDeVil on September 09, 2017, 03:53:16 PM
I need to work a health plan, I am prescribed meds for my heart, but am otherwise in good health, I do realise that PI may not be the easiest place to balance good health care..

I think my other main concern is the total and constant humidity, which seems relenting, but again I hope to adjust in some ways.

Hi Hayling,

On the aspect of your heart meds. My brother had a heart transplant, years ago, anyway, he has his wife still in PI, he is in Aus. Well when he comes here to live for months on end, he brings ALL his meds with him. If this is an option for you, then do that. Also, whilst my bro lives here, he has canvassed the local pharmacy's to find if he can get his meds here & at what cost. Being from Aus, he is on a gov disability pension, so for a 6 mths stay here, he brings a full suitcase of meds, with Dr cert to prove the reason for SO MANY meds. It works well for him, as the suitcase only costs him about $2-5, (yes you read that right). But if bought here, it was P25-30K/month. Bring enough for the first part, then source costs from PI.

As for humidity etc, buy a few gel filled (necklace type) thingys they will help. Also, it is common here to wear/carry a hand towel type of cloth to hang inside your shirt back, or in your hand to wipe the sweat away constantly. At night, use some baby powder on your neck, upper back, to help reduce the heat. Get yourself a very well aerated hat. Baseball caps just trap more heat. Keep yourself hydrated, goes without saying, but ensure there is a ready supply of purified water on offer. As the locals drink the local water, NOT GOOD for our soft foreign guts LOL. Something the locals take for granted.

Hope that helps your plans.

ABC
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on February 18, 2018, 11:32:38 AM
I have been planning for over a year to come over, and live in a quiet area, Lezo, Aklan, with my dear friend, who I met on FB
We talk every day, and she is geniune, but now my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.

I get everything from the humidity, the begging, the crime, terrorism, all which are in the US also.
I guess I just am looking for a balance from those there, to say I can make it and survive, especially in a quiet area, very rural in a small community. I know life will be totally different, that is the appeal to break away from the stresses of NYC, and I am open eyed to know that there are different stresses there.

I can survive on my monthly pension, and for the last months this has been my ambition, but those here are constantly bombarding me with links, to all the downsides, and I don't seem to have anyone, apart from the couple of people I know there in The Philippines to support my ambition.

"I get everything from the humidity, the begging, the crime, terrorism, all which are in the US also."

How many times a year are Americans kidnapped-for-ransom and beheaded in the USA.

Something to seriously consider before going to the Philippines.

There are rural and relaxing areas in the US too. Way more than the Philippines.

And the US? Hot and humid? I am wearing 2 sweaters and 2 pairs of sweat pants as I type this, trying to stay warm in -25F!
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: The.Shadow on February 20, 2018, 05:36:17 AM
And the US? Hot and humid? I am wearing 2 sweaters and 2 pairs of sweat pants as I type this, trying to stay warm in -25F!

Try visiting south of Iowa (Florida, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas) in summer and tell me how it feels  :D
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: JoeLP on February 20, 2018, 01:25:25 PM
Try visiting south of Iowa (Florida, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas) in summer and tell me how it feels  :D
Lived in Arkansas.  It's West Michigan's August heat plus some...but goes on for months on end.  Way too hot for me.  I actually prefer what is here in the part of the Phils I live in.  Only during the hottest part of the year does it get up into that area and that's a few weeks to a month long.  Then back to the 80-90 degree days one after another. 
The cold and snow that I loved as a youth I hate now.  Happy I don't have to live in that anymore. 
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: FRaymie on February 22, 2018, 12:56:50 AM
UNGGOY,
Not sure how many 'Americans' were beheaded last year in the PI either! EVERY place has good and bad... I believe it's what you make of each. I also believe if you expect the bad more than the good...you will get it.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Gray Wolf on February 22, 2018, 06:26:26 AM

How many times a year are Americans kidnapped-for-ransom and beheaded in the USA.
Something to seriously consider before going to the Philippines.


Link showing the number of beheadings by the Abu Sayyaf. You might be surprised to find no Americans listed

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abu_Sayyaf_beheading_incidents

The following is a list of people who were beheaded worldwide arranged alphabetically by country or region and with date of decapitation. It includes who individuals may have lost their heads either accidentally or intentionally (as a form of execution or posthumously).

Looks to me like "jolly old England" holds the record. No slur intended

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_who_were_beheaded
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: BudM on February 22, 2018, 10:33:05 AM
I like the one in Austria who was dug up back in 1809 after he was buried so that he could be beheaded.  A couple of guys who had a gripe with him apparently wanted his head.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: lost_in_samoa on February 22, 2018, 12:54:12 PM
one in Austria who was dug up back in 1809 after he was buried so that he could be beheaded. 

Now that's a grudge.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on March 02, 2018, 05:39:08 AM
Link showing the number of beheadings by the Abu Sayyaf. You might be surprised to find no Americans listed

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abu_Sayyaf_beheading_incidents

The following is a list of people who were beheaded worldwide arranged alphabetically by country or region and with date of decapitation. It includes who individuals may have lost their heads either accidentally or intentionally (as a form of execution or posthumously).

Looks to me like "jolly old England" holds the record. No slur intended

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_who_were_beheaded

There are Americans listed as being beheaded though.

And curious, your fist list lists tons of people in the Philippines beheaded. The second list, shows 2.

But then again, you linked to wikipedia, which is maybe a joke?
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on March 02, 2018, 05:43:22 AM
I like the one in Austria who was dug up back in 1809 after he was buried so that he could be beheaded.  A couple of guys who had a gripe with him apparently wanted his head.

That is some serious vengeance.

I don't think even I have hated anyone that much.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: JoeLP on March 02, 2018, 10:14:20 AM
That is some serious vengeance.

I don't think even I have hated anyone that much.

There's also a king form a European country(spain maybe...can't remember) that upon his becoming king after the death of his father, dug up his dead wife, had her sit on the throne, and made his people bow to her, then had her put back in the grave.  I have heard that so many times from history books, sites, what have you...but the reasons always have been revenge on the ones needing to do the bowing and more so than not, the reports stated that the subjects the king brought in also were made to kiss a ring on the hand of of dead queen. 

That new king/dead queen had some serious need for revenge.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Gray Wolf on March 05, 2018, 06:14:42 AM
There are Americans listed as being beheaded though.

And curious, your fist list lists tons of people in the Philippines beheaded. The second list, shows 2.

But then again, you linked to wikipedia, which is maybe a joke?

So, 2 Americans killed is a reason for not coming to the PH?
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on March 25, 2018, 11:30:53 PM
So, 2 Americans killed is a reason for not coming to the PH?
An American is killed about once a month. They are targeted because of their race and nationality.

Not to mention terrorism.

Abduction-for-ransom.

Death squads.

Disappeared persons.


If you are cool with being abducted and tortured by terrorists, because a retarded and contradictory opensource website like wikipedia told you your chances of being beheaded are not too high for your comfort level, that is fine. But many would disagree.

Just think people need to be real about the 3rd most dangerous nation in the world and not make it out to be a paradise simply becasue there are young desperate women available for trafficking.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Gray Wolf on March 26, 2018, 02:11:03 AM
An American is killed about once a month. They are targeted because of their race and nationality.

Not to mention terrorism.

Abduction-for-ransom.

Death squads.

Disappeared persons.


If you are cool with being abducted and tortured by terrorists, because a retarded and contradictory opensource website like wikipedia told you your chances of being beheaded are not too high for your comfort level, that is fine. But many would disagree.

Just think people need to be real about the 3rd most dangerous nation in the world and not make it out to be a paradise simply becasue there are young desperate women available for trafficking.

That is some of the most twisted, bizarre stuff I've ever read. It must be miserable living around you. Please remind me to not be in the same province as you. Ever
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on March 26, 2018, 02:48:05 AM
That is some of the most twisted, bizarre stuff I've ever read. It must be miserable living around you. Please remind me to not be in the same province as you. Ever

So... you believe in terrorism and human trafficking?

You better not be in my same province, or I'll du30 you!
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Lee2 on March 26, 2018, 09:09:04 AM
So... you believe in terrorism and human trafficking?

You better not be in my same province, or I'll du30 you!
Cool it dude, you seem to be going overboard, you can voice your opinion based on your experience but when you start putting others down or threatening them for their opinions, then you are pushing your limits and if you continue, then you will end up history on this forum,
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: BudM on March 26, 2018, 09:24:09 AM
Cool it dude, you seem to be going overboard, you can voice your opinion based on your experience but when you start putting others down or threatening them for their opinions, then you are pushing your limits and if you continue, then you will end up history on this forum,

He has been insulting people left and right ever since he has been on the board.  He can't figure out where he is from and thinks he is something special of a higher intelligence category than the rest of us.  Probably nothing more than some college kid in his dorm and when he is bored, gets on here and spends hours trying to screw with people.  Needs his butt kicked off and if anyone doesn't like what I just said, then kick my butt too.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: FRaymie on March 26, 2018, 09:30:59 AM
Agree with BudM, I get the impression that it's a group of folks. Provides a lot of posts daily for one person who also has a job?? Every response  is controversial, insulting  and/or  anti PI.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am on March 26, 2018, 09:37:16 AM
He has been insulting people left and right ever since he has been on the board.  He can't figure out where he is from and thinks he is something special of a higher intelligence category than the rest of us.  Probably nothing more than some college kid in his dorm and when he is bored, gets on here and spends hours trying to screw with people.  Needs his butt kicked off and if anyone doesn't like what I just said, then kick my butt too.
I tried the ''IGNORE LIST" under profile settings, but it doesn't get rid of posts from showing up on the active board of recent posts. Maybe the offender will get kicked off soon. This forum has been overly crazy active lately, but enough is enough of all the insults!   
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: FastWalk on March 26, 2018, 09:39:54 AM
Cool it dude, you seem to be going overboard, you can voice your opinion based on your experience but when you start putting others down or threatening them for their opinions, then you are pushing your limits and if you continue, then you will end up history on this forum,

Me thinks it is a troll.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll

Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Hestecrefter on March 26, 2018, 10:00:21 AM
He has been insulting people left and right ever since he has been on the board.  He can't figure out where he is from and thinks he is something special of a higher intelligence category than the rest of us.  Probably nothing more than some college kid in his dorm and when he is bored, gets on here and spends hours trying to screw with people.  Needs his butt kicked off and if anyone doesn't like what I just said, then kick my butt too.

Pls. put me in BudM's camp.  This guy (or whatever) has been rather offensive and has accused me of knowing nothing of the Phils, the U.S. or anything and, on top, says I am a troll.  As I pointed out in another thread, in the past day he has heaped calumnies on me, JoeLP, Gray Wolf and probably others.

I don't come here looking for fights,  but I am no shrinking violet.  I do not mind someone disagreeing with my posts.  But I'll fire back if called "insane", "ridiculous" or a troll, or some of the other comments directed to me of late.

If I have failed to identify my own similar failings and some here have felt abused by me, pls. say so.  I'll endeavor to make amends and, failing that, I shall withdraw from this honorable assembly without the need of a formal banishment ceremony and I promise not to try to sneak back in using an alias and different ISP number. 
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on March 26, 2018, 10:18:17 AM
Cool it dude, you seem to be going overboard, you can voice your opinion based on your experience but when you start putting others down or threatening them for their opinions, then you are pushing your limits and if you continue, then you will end up history on this forum,
OK. Explain to me why terrorism and human trafficking are GOOD? Voice your opinion.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on March 26, 2018, 10:28:00 AM
Agree with BudM, I get the impression that it's a group of folks. Provides a lot of posts daily for one person who also has a job?? Every response  is controversial, insulting  and/or  anti PI.

Being informative, educated, and realistic is SO controversial.

You do not think your post is insulting?

There are bad things in the Philippines. What? We can't talk about it? Why?

Is it not important that people be informed?

How about we discuss anything I have posted that I am wrong about? Am I wrong about anything I posted? Discuss it.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: UNGGOY on March 26, 2018, 10:35:25 AM
He has been insulting people left and right ever since he has been on the board.  He can't figure out where he is from and thinks he is something special of a higher intelligence category than the rest of us.  Probably nothing more than some college kid in his dorm and when he is bored, gets on here and spends hours trying to screw with people.  Needs his butt kicked off and if anyone doesn't like what I just said, then kick my butt too.
When have I insulted someone? I seem to remember it the other way around.

I have always known where I am from. What does that even mean?

Are you offended that I am more intelligent than you?

College kid. With 7 kids. Who has lived around the world. Including 10 years in the Philippines. Where I have a higher status than most of you. Speak several local languages. Which are banned on the forum for some reason. OK.

Sure your post is totally not insulting. I will try to type like you more.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Lee2 on March 26, 2018, 10:38:24 AM
When have I insulted someone? I seem to remember it the other way around.

I have always known where I am from. What does that even mean?

Are you offended that I am more intelligent than you?

College kid. With 7 kids. Who has lived around the world. Including 10 years in the Philippines. Where I have a higher status than most of you. Speak several local languages. Which are banned on the forum for some reason. OK.

Sure your post is totally not insulting. I will try to type like you more.
Member was warned, now banned. 
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: bigrod on March 26, 2018, 11:01:39 AM
OK!  Let us get back to normal on here.  Everyone have a good day.

Chuck
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Pelican on July 07, 2018, 06:13:03 AM
NYC?     Six dollars for cigarettes, and six dollars for the tax...…………Whew!
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: Dawg on July 27, 2018, 08:02:35 AM
This thread was kind of beaten up but I see Lee got it back on track. I think it's important as this will happen to a lot of expats.

I had been planning on moving to the Philippines for several years before the move. I visited, researched and asked a lot of questions. About 6 months before I moved here friends and relatives stepped up their game to spoil my plans. Now, they did this out of love but still, very few looked at what I was doing seriously. The common retort was, You can't do that. The funny thing is, what they meant was I can't do that!

Not everyone is going to share your dream...but you are not dreaming for them.
Title: Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
Post by: codefreeze on September 14, 2018, 06:47:42 PM
...

Now, they did this out of love but still, very few looked at what I was doing seriously. The common retort was, You can't do that. The funny thing is, what they meant was I can't do that!

Not everyone is going to share your dream...but you are not dreaming for them.

Absolutely. One of my regrets is I didn't cotton onto this sooner. My default position was always "other people who are wiser than me have my best interests at heart". The reality was they were offering fear-based opinions - opinions that were not based on real knowledge or experience. I'm glad I eventually learned to ignore that noise.