Mindanao - Safety Question

[tuckman4]

Need advice...I am planning to meet my soon to be fiancee in davao city end of May for a week....my problem is that she happened to let it slip that she told her ex boyfriend of 6 years who is upset he lost her....... the dates I will be there and the name of the hotel that I will be staying at with her in davao City.....the ex boyfriend is from Cataboto province......question is does this PUT MY LIFE IN DANGER...she says he is harmless...I can see why she told him she is planning to marry a forigner, but cant understand why she told him the dates and hotel i will be staying with her...this seems like a bad situation...am i being paranoid? Please advise....also she lives in New Visayas, Matanao, davao Del Sur....she wants me to go there for the day to visit her family...is that safe....please post answers or email me at   tuckman4@msn.com     thanks, Gary

[coutts00]

Need advice...I am planning to meet my soon to be fiancee in davao city end of May for a week....my problem is that she happened to let it slip that she told her ex boyfriend of 6 years who is upset he lost her....... the dates I will be there and the name of the hotel that I will be staying at with her in davao City.....the ex boyfriend is from Cataboto province......question is does this PUT MY LIFE IN DANGER...she says he is harmless...I can see why she told him she is planning to marry a forigner, but cant understand why she told him the dates and hotel i will be staying with her...this seems like a bad situation...am i being paranoid? Please advise....also she lives in New Visayas, Matanao, davao Del Sur....she wants me to go there for the day to visit her family...is that safe....please post answers or email me at   tuckman4@msn.com     thanks, Gary

Great to have you aboard, wait for RUFUS he will be along soon with same.

1st question? How long have you known this gal, if she has an ex, how long has he been an ex? It may be a setup with you as the bait. Maybe arrive a day earlier and stay at a different hotel, text her to meet you at different hotel, meet her in the lobby and invite the fam to a public place for the day or take them out to Max Chicken for a meal or similar. Then skip town with her to Boracay for a week to really get to know each other, feel the waters. Palawan is also a great getaway location, Colin can set you up with prison guards to keep you safe.

[c_a_p_t_a_i_n_r_o_n]

Ask HER WHY ON EARTH WOULD SHE TELL EX WHERE YOU WILL STAY?

If YOU\'re not comfortable with her answer.....then proceed carefully from then on along lines Wayne has suggested.....

I\'d recommend inviting IMMEDIATE family to visit YOU in DAVAO........plenty of time next trip to visit family location
You\'d have more control of safety/security issues if YOU name the time/place

May just be misunderstanding, but because it\'s rattled you a bit, best proceed with caution

[dylanaz]

I went to meet a date once in the \"Public housing\" units of Tondo, Manila... If you have seen Cabreeny Greens (sp) or other \"projects\" in NYC, Chicago or Pennsylvania then now Cabreeny begins to look like Disney Land compared to this area of Tondo

She was to meet me at a store near her house. After waiting there and txting+calling her for 1 hr I called her friend (now I had low battery and no where to charge). Her friend said she just forgot to charge her phone and to proceed to the housing projects.

I almost hesitantly continued to her house... then I changed my mind when her friend ended the conversation by saying \"Just be careful of the Magdanako, ok\"

That was more than enough for me to flag down the next Taxi and leave...

But... 1/2 dozen TAXI\'s refused to stop in that area... I paid locals 50 peso to grab one for me .... the first still drove off as they were grabbing at the doorknobs !

Hells kitchen hath no fury like a Tondo morn....  
Sad story... next time I heard from her... was the friend ... asking for funeral money... she was already dead... and about 19 yrs old...

When someone hints at possible problems.... Its probably good to take their advice.... Its probably just their conscious speaking...

Previous 2 posters are on target !

http://www.gmanews.tv/video/8319/1000-families-live-in-condemned-building-in-tondo-manila

Palawan is also a great getaway location, Colin can set you up with prison guards to keep you safe.

Welcome Gary,

I am sure we could find you a nice safe prison cell with a concrete floor to sleep on  Bings brother was the Officer in Charge of Inagawan prison farm and we are going to his retirement party tomorrow, I will see what I can arrange 

Colin

[woodman13]

I guess I am kind of old fashioned....why is she talking to her Ex boyfriend? An ex boyfriend should be just that...an ex.

[jonnyivy]

I\'d think twice,... jealousy can make men ( and women) do crazy things to ex\'s new partners !
I\'d even think thrice,... its in the Philippines !!

[tuckman4]

Well I have been talking with her for 8 months on the cam. She is now working as a nanny in Hong kong and is leaving her job to go back to PI and meet me and be sponsored to come to USA....her ex boyfriend and her have been broken up for two years and she has dated guys since then and he is aware of that.....she says she is still friends with him and thats why she keeps in touch ( sounds ok ?). When she told him she was coming back to PI he told her he would like to see her and thats when she told him that she was going to marry a forigner ( which is fine) BUT also told him the dates i arrive at the hotel i will be staying with her at...THAT WAS STUPID at best. I decided that i will invite her parents into the city for lunch...no need to risk myself going out into the province. I could be pretty stupid but I dont think its a set up....my only fear is that its the Phillipinnes and for $50 this guy could have me shot in the head. It wont be too hard I will be the american holding her hand walking out of the hotel with her....I dont know how easy it would be to do that? I really dont want to change the dates or the hotel..because its the nicest one I see in davao city.....BUT I dont want to risk my life either....would she leave her job in Hong Kong and lose the $500 per month income...just to set me up? I am not rich there is no sense kidnapping me. Thanks for your welcoming support and any advise I would appreciate....this seems like agreat community..happy i joined...Thanks gary

[tuckman4]

just a little more backround....her answr as to WHY she told him ...when i pinned her down to it was that they went out for 6 years he never closed the deal so she went to Hong Kong to be a nanny and her plan was actually to use that as a springboard to become a nanny in canada....I know that she went out with and slept with like 5 other forigners while in HK...one was a forigner who met her in PI ( he was from belguim) NONE of them worked out and wanted to close the deal.....WHY she told me all this is still shocking my first instinct was to run, but then decided she was honest from the start so i would give it a shot.......I should point out that i was married to a Filapina who was my friends wifes sister....turns out the whole time she had a boyfriend for 5 years no one knew about...and she went back to USA...she lied the whole time. That has nothing to do with this girl but i thought since she was honest from the start.....I would give it a chance...also i think if it is a set up why tell me? What about the prison guards who can keep me safe? How much would that cost and how can I arrange it? Thanks again so much for your help. Gary

[dylanaz]

...also i think if it is a set up why tell me?

I watched a USA tv show last week called \"V\" - its a revival from the 80\'s TV show of the same name. Aliens tried to lure an American kid to their space ship so they can eat him, but one of the aliens felt guilty and told the kid not to go on the ship....

Guilt ....

[RUFUS]

Welcome to the forum
I agree with Wayne...
If you are worried, change your hotel stay to a Manila or Cebu hotel and don\'t tell your GF. Then have her and chaperone(if needed) meet you at the airport and you go to your hotel from there. Then if you go to Davao, just get a hotel or pension house when you get there.
It is not hard to change reservations if your stay is out far enough.
Only YOU can know how to proceed.
If you trust this girl, then go and enjoy yourself...
If you don\'t, then don\'t...

[tom.inbigdtexas]

...also i think if it is a set up why tell me?

I watched a USA tv show last week called \"V\" - its a revival from the 80\'s TV show of the same name. Aliens tried to lure an American kid to their space ship so they can eat him, but one of the aliens felt guilty and told the kid not to go on the ship....

Guilt ....

Ahhh... much more complicated, Dylan.  She told the kid (she is a \"V\" who is dating the kid) not to come to the ship to make him think his mom had convinced her to cool the relationship, which in turn would make the kid even more determined to move onboard the ship... sort of a reverse psychology move by her.  So, it wasn\'t guilt, but cunning, that motivated her actions.

But... back to the thread... I agree with others (including the mob bosses in \"Goodfellas\" - \"... why take a chance.\")  This girl is not an innocent province teenager that needs the security and \"custom\" of meeting her with her family nearby... she is already living abroad and dating foreigners.  Meet her somewhere nice in the PI, or even in HK, and if thing go well... then arrange a meeting with her family on the second or third get together.

Tuckman... don\'t let your heart or other body parts lead you into an unnecessary dangerous situation... even if 1/2 of 1% concern... \"why take a chance.\"

Tom in Big D   

[coutts00]

I agree with Tom,

If she is already in HK meet her in HK. Then you can fly together to Manila, or Cebu and pick a destination from there. After you finalise details between you, then meet the family and ask for blessings, don\'t forget the pasalubong for the parents.

What about the prison guards who can keep me safe? How much would that cost and how can I arrange it? Thanks again so much for your help. Gary

Gary, that was just Wayne having a joke, but I am sure security could be arranged if you are worried. The Mayor and Vice Mayor here go around with \'presidential\' type armed guards. However, I suggest you follow the advise of others and change you meeting arrangements.

Colin

[dylanaz]

Ahhh... much more complicated, Dylan.  She told the kid (she is a \"V\" who is dating the kid) not to come to the ship to make him think his mom had convinced her to cool the relationship, which in turn would make the kid even more determined to move onboard the ship... sort of a reverse psychology move by her.  So, it wasn\'t guilt, but cunning, that motivated her actions.

Ahh but remember 1 -2 episodes earlier she failed the \"alien test\" and was ordered executed for having human emotions only to be saved by a top alien-rebel infiltrator - Joshua. SO I think theres a hint of humanism hiding in her... especially that the rebel hid her failing and executable results from her evil overlord boss/mom who would have killed her... Ooh and when the Evil overlord (who looks like my soo hot ex from Manhattan) told her the BF would be killed after they are done with him... she showed hesitation.... shes turning human.. I know it... i think... lol... Just like John Mays killer !  

But... back to the thread... I agree with others (including the mob bosses in \"Goodfellas\" - \"... why take a chance.\")  This girl is not an innocent province teenager that needs the security and \"custom\" of meeting her with her family nearby... she is already living abroad and dating foreigners.  Meet her somewhere nice in the PI, or even in HK, and if thing go well... then arrange a meeting with her family on the second or third get together.

Tuckman... don\'t let your heart or other body parts lead you into an unnecessary dangerous situation... even if 1/2 of 1% concern... \"why take a chance.\"

Tom in Big D  

I didnt want to mention it but its up in the air now.... RP is majority 90%  Catholic country and she has openly admitted to having numerous sexual encounters with foreigners.... in this country 4 partners is a ... well... THATS A LOT ! (for this place - but I probably had 4 by the time i was 8 - lol... jk... maybe...)....

HK meeting ! Wow .. I never thought about that one.... MANY great ideas here... why sit in your hotel everyday... no mater HOW MANY STARS IT HAS.. why worry about getting setup... meet on YOUR terms.... pick a different 5 star or even Hong Kong ! A flight from Philippines to HK is under $100 ... well worth it to save your peace of mind - and as far as I know .. Filipinos dont need a visa to go to HK - she can go ANYTIME TOO ! Even if shes already home !

DONT TELL HER U DONT TRUST HER.... Just surprise her with a nice romantic trip to DISNEYLAND HONG KONG !

NOTE TO TUCKMAN4:
Here - EVERY foreigner is viewed to be rich ! Just like in USA most people think EVERY celeb on TV or in sports is rich.... when actually - some are not ...