You're the bank

[medic3500]

Has anyone experienced this? Today was the third time since my arrival here that someone has come to my home and approached my GF about a loan or being a cosigner for a loan. The first two were parents of students that my GF has in her class. Today was a friend of a friend who has a student in her class. I was born at night, but it wasn't last night and I don't cosign for s--t. I've did it twice in the past for immediate family and got burnt once, and that's all it takes for me. To this day I am still hounded by creditors for the student loan I supposedly cosigned for my ex before we divorced. We have been divorced 7 years and they are still coming after me even though the divorce degree was specifically written to include her personal outstanding debts not be waged against me. So much for court orders.
Hope I didn't butthurt any feelings today when I told this lady I'm not a bank and she is wasting her time trying to convince the GF of her sad story.

[coleman2347]

When I first got here, I guess for the first 6 months, I seemed that every one I had dealings with would at sometime ask for a loan for some reason, the only one I gave money to was a relative whos little girl was in the hospital.  Was not much they wanted about 4k, I asked my then gf and she thought it would be a good idea, then after people found out I had loaned them money (read that gave), I had request for money from more people than I could count, everything from the family's in crisis (whatever the hell that means) to I need money for school.

After I broke up with the gf, and that went out over the Philippine gossip service I was besieged with all kinds of crazy request for money.
I quickly learned the following response, I am not a bank, I am not a loan agency, I am not a charitable organization !

Since I met Maline, I usually let her take the lead on money with the exception of sometimes I will collect from the pedicab drivers using her pedicabs as they will not alibi me.  I will however loan money to her relatives on the farm as they always pay me back in rice.

I am sometimes amazed at the people here, in the States I would never consider asking for money from anybody, no mater what the reason...It would put me in position of being like the ones there whom I despise...the welfare bums.  Many here seem to have no personal pride. 

Still here, at least a couple of times a week, there are people at the gate wanting money for any number of reasons from school plays to tshirts for some team...Maline tells me most are not legit, most of the time its a scam...the way to tell is watch them walk away and see if they go to my Filipino neighbors and ask for money..if its a scam usually they will not ask other Filipinos..

I had to get over worrying about hurting feelings, if you don't, most people here will persist, for me, I just give them the Drill Instructor stare and in a voice that can not be mistaken, a to the point no...usually I will not be bothered again...

[fred]

Have a mate here that had a Tee shirt made.. On the front it says "HUMAN ATM MACHINE"
on the back it says "OFF LINE".

[wildbill]

LOL Just dang Fred Funny,I agree with Coleman on this I been here 4 years now and its a never ending cycle they need help from you Because your white A walking rich man in there eyes my I always say ask my wife I am so tired of giving money to here I give to some like a Church that needs repair or family that's sick but people will never stop it seems but when it comes to her Family the loan never comes back to me ..Fred I'm Gonna do that but I will make many white T-shirts he he love it Thanks

[Lee2]

Funny Fred, I want one just as a conversation piece. 

All those issues is why we live in a condo in Cebu during our yearly stays instead of in a house among many locals. Most Filipinos shy away from going to high rise condos, as I have found out that quite a few are afraid of heights and others are intimidated by all the security and the size of the buildings. One woman who was extremely intimidated after dealing with security thought we owned the whole building lol.

Other than family asking when a real emergency or major medical issue comes about, since retiring and making it known we have enough to live and enjoy our lives, we rarely get anyone asking for money. Unfortunately with such a large family, since my wife is one of 13 sisters and brothers with her as the next to the youngest, as family ages, health issues as well as stupid things like family members getting shot or stabbed have come about and those I cannot say no to because I would not be able to live with myself knowing I let a family member die when all I had to do was cut out some visits to friends and some less important items from our budget to fund their treatment.

I find it interesting that so many seem to have so many problems with people besides family asking for money. Other than around Christmas, I do not remember anyone other than family asking for money but during the holidays we have had my wife's former coworkers ask and since we are not in that area yearly, we do not mind giving the few close friends a few pesos to try to make their life a little better.

[Big Jim]

In my experience, most Filipinos don't need the money if they have to work for it.
 
I don't "loan" money as I will never get it back but I will give money if i see a need.
 
For every one else, I tell them i had to work hard for it and if they want money, they will have to work for it too.
 
Those who are prepared to work, I will find something for them to do.
 
 

[medic3500]

Latest saga, get a phone call from the GF's sister yesterday that she needs 30,000 php to get X1 and X2 out of jail. Of course the GF wanted to know the whole story so it goes as such, Husband and wife, distant cousins on the in-law side of the family (not blood) were arrested on embezzlement from their employer who with police had them under surveillance. The GF remembered these two quite well as being the so called rich members of the family as they both had very good jobs OFW and was always flaunting their income. It appears they came back to the PH and were working making some money, but obviously not what they were use to. So they decided to help themselves to the cookie jar per se and got caught. Of course they had squandered what they had made overseas and don't have enough to get out of jail. This is where my GF friend made me so proud of her, she tells her sister that she would have to ask me directly, and the sister said she wouldn't because she already knew the answer I would give would be why would I support thieving criminals who got caught. End of phone conversation. Sorry no sympathy from me. My dad taught me a valuable lesson just after I turned 18 and thrown in jail for drunk driving and stupidity towards law enforcement. He would not bail me out and wouldn't let any of the other family members bail me, he knew the chief. I spent 5 days in that sh-- hole before a judge decided to let me PR. Only thing Dad said to me when I got home, he didn't even pick me up, don't do the crime if you can't do the time. 

[coleman2347]

Dan, did we have the same father?  Mine did the same thing to me when I was 17, was right before I went into the Marine Corp and the recruiter came to pick me up at the Dekalb County Jail and took me to the receiving station.....good lesson for a teenager who thought he had the world by the balls......

[medic3500]

Actually my dad didn't retire from the Marines but was in long enough to make Gunney which made him a no nonsense, spare the rod spoil the child type father. I'm 53 and dad is 85 if he says sit down and shut up guess what I do? He wasn't a big guy at 5'8" but was strong as an ox, and I found out the hard way, (more than once, I was a slow learner) that he could knock me completely off my feet and half way across the livingroom with the back of his hand. Yeah I did the same thing after the jail incident. I went directly to the Army Recruiter and signed up. The recruiter showed up at my court appearance and told the judge that I was becoming Army property as long as he didn't put me back in jail. The Judge dismissed the charges and told me to have fun with a smirk on his face. What the Judge didn't know was that I qualified for medic school and after basic went to the Army Holiday Inn, Ft Sam Houston in San Antonio.

[Gray Wolf]

All requests for money go through Gloria, Tita Kuripot!      
We've supported only promising nieces and nephews with tuition fees and paid for her parent's medical needs, which have been few.  The rest we've given were gifts to help family with true needs.  Gloria made it abundantly clear to everyone who's in charge of the money, and it isn't me!

[JoeLP]

All money issues go through Tina.  Hell, I give her my money to care for.  I ask her for money when I want to buy something.  And she's kuripot.  Basically, noone in her family touches her, and thus my money.  Love it. 

[wildbill]

All requests for money go through  my Tina to But I will never let any women ever again controll my money I was married for 23 years lets say I Had to Beg for my own money ---------- o no way anymore you can bet your hin in on it.

[coleman2347]

In my experience, most Filipinos don't need the money if they have to work for it.
 
I don't "loan" money as I will never get it back but I will give money if i see a need.
 
For every one else, I tell them i had to work hard for it and if they want money, they will have to work for it too.
 
Those who are prepared to work, I will find something for them to do.
 
 

I totally agree, I can find something for them to do if they want to work, sadly if you mention that four letter word, most will just look sad and go.

[BudM]

Kind of like people in the U.S. and I would imagine elsewhere, standing on a corner with a 'Will work for food" sign.  If you have something they can do for a couple of hours, all of a sudden they can't or don't have time.  Of course, that is usually because they are allergic to work and/or they can take in more just staying on the corner.

[JoeLP]

My Tina owns a catering business.  She does the same.  When family comes to ask for money, she'll offer to hire them to work for her on an event and get paid.  Amazing how fast they no longer need the money.