Author Topic: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....  (Read 10726 times)

Offline JoeLP

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First, I mean no disrespect to our member who just lost her husband, so I hope this doesn't bother her.  I'm curious on what the plans are for those on here when their time comes.

I didn't have any plans when I moved here.  None at all and was blind sided by that question by Tina a few months back.  Truth is I never in my life thought about it.  Just figured I'd be cremated and have my ashes thrown to the waves either of Lake Michigan or the Pacific. 

Now Tina and I are in the process of buying 4 "plots" at the new cemetery here in Catarman.  These are not grave plots, but plots to build the "New Orleans" style family sites with above ground setups.  We are buying 4 with 2 for her an my family and our following generations for how ever long they plan to use it and then we'll give the other two lots to her family to build their own place and do as they wish with it.  We saw one of the styles we want there and liked the whole "room" inside where family can go visit it in any weather and stay dry inside.  Granted, the style we saw had two coffins for the whole "showing" pre burial, then later the surface under the coffins is moved back and the body is removed from the coffin and dropped down. 

First I ever seen of these honestly.  All my family, except my mother, were, are to be buried.  So always went to the "hole in the ground" to see the coffin lowered.

Sorry if too graphic for some in my description, no sickness intended.  But when I read a response to that thread, it got me thinking of how many others here may have not planned yet for what's going to happen to them/their family when that time comes pertaining to their body. 

I actually planned the whole financial side of things, but never thought, for some crazy reason that I can't fathom, to plan what happens to my body.  For all I cared, and borrowing from a friends idea, just cremate me, put my ashes in a coconut shell with fireworks, and make me bright as the stars to send me out.  Now I have a plan.(Actually, Tina has a plan, I'm just going along with it, it was better than what I had)
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

Offline iamjames

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2014, 01:43:54 AM »
Won't be my problem when the time comes. Couldn't care less if they feed me to the fish. Cremation and the garbage bag would be my preferred option - maybe I'll make plans for that.  :D

Offline Lee2

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2014, 01:57:53 AM »
I already told my wife, have me cremated and spread my ashes in the ocean, so she can come visit me at oceans edge wherever in the world she happens to be.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline billmc

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2014, 02:39:56 AM »
I've always told my wife, go ahead and have me cremated and don't bother to pick up the ashes.

Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2014, 03:18:47 AM »
Wow billmc, it has been awhile since your last post! I guess you've been busy with work and what the "human rat race" in the U.S. has to offer. So, how many more years before you retire? You ever build that house yet on the lot you both bought? Does your wife still have second thoughts about retiring in the Philippines? My wife and I have been retired here in NCR of Luzon going on 18 yrs and still loving it here!
Anyways, welcome back and hope you post more often.
Oh about the OP, it's cremation for me too! I told my wife if she ever has thoughts about flushing my ashes down the toilet, I will come back to haunt to her!  ::) ??? :o ;)   
« Last Edit: December 29, 2014, 03:22:06 AM by Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am »
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
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Offline BudM

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2014, 07:35:12 AM »
I had often thought about getting cremated, then packed in a MK-106 practice bomb to be dropped off a USN jet in to the deep blue but I doubt they would be willing to do that for me as I am only a bottom of the totem pole vet.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline coleman2347

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2014, 10:28:21 AM »
Maline plans on burying me on our farm, we are in the process of designating a piece of land just for the family...
The only thing worse than wanting to do it is not doing it

Offline Killjoygreg

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2014, 02:38:32 PM »
We have no plans and have only discussed it fleetingly. Personally I would request to deal with my remains as simply as possible. If it is here in the Philippines I have no idea what that would entail. If back in Australia then cremation it would be. Having said that if my wife goes first then I would
probably  do something more fancy. And she probably would for me too. A lot will depend on our financial situation when the time comes. Certainly would never insure for it. But then we don't insure for much at all.
Still we are hoping that's many years off.

Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2014, 04:32:43 PM »
I've noticed in the Philippines that more Memorial Cemeteries have been coming up with a lot of various plans one can buy to handle and manage burials services for families. We just had a new Memorial Cemetery constructed a few miles from our home that sells burial plans of all sorts.
Here's the one near us and they have others located elsewhere.

http://www.eternalgardens.ph/
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
"It's always a matter of money"!
"Do on to others as they would do on to You, but do it first"!
"Different strokes for different folks"!
"Que Sera Sera"!

Offline wildbill

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2014, 01:24:02 AM »
I am some what of a loner person.I don't have much Family back in the states at all.The ones that are still alive could care less about me.I do like friends but seem to make my share of mistakes.My pinay wife and The Filipino people have made me very happy for the first time in my life.If I have disrespected any of you plz forgive me for my past remarks....I told my wife just to cremate me and throw me away wer ever she likes.save the money for her.not to waste..

Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2014, 01:54:05 AM »
You're not alone Bill. I'm sort of like you that I too have a few family, relatives and friends in the U.S. that cares less about me. It's just my wife and I and a hand full of relatives and friends here in the Philippines and that's OK by me. Life goes on! 
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
"It's always a matter of money"!
"Do on to others as they would do on to You, but do it first"!
"Different strokes for different folks"!
"Que Sera Sera"!

Offline paulgee

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2014, 03:35:25 AM »
We bought a burial plot in a private cemetery a year or so ago. It will be chance  whether I die in the Philippines or the UK, but wherever it is I want to be buried in the Philippines. Presumably a UK death would entail taking my ashes back to the Philippines.

From what I have seen of funerals in the Philippines  I like the way they are carried out, with more involvement of family and friends than the usual 'day out' of funerals in the UK.

Fortunately I am a very patient man and will be happy to hang around for some while yet before discovering how my funeral plans are to be carried out!








Based in the UK, and part time in our San Fernando, Pampanga house

Offline BudM

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2014, 08:24:55 PM »
I am some what of a loner person.I don't have much Family back in the states at all.The ones that are still alive could care less about me.I do like friends but seem to make my share of mistakes.My pinay wife and The Filipino people have made me very happy for the first time in my life.If I have disrespected any of you plz forgive me for my past remarks....I told my wife just to cremate me and throw me away wer ever she likes.save the money for her.not to waste..

Yeah, don't feel like the lone ranger here wb.  You, Art, and I are all appear to be in the same boat.  I suspect there are a few more like us on here too.  I basically have my aunt and a cousin as far as my relatives.  Since, '79 when my grandpa passed, the rest have all played cut throat with one another so much that as far as I am concerned, they can all take a flying leap.  I do have a few friends left there.  Mostly Filipino for that matter.  Since I decided to come here, and mostly since I met my wife, I did not really enjoy life to its fullest.  No where near it.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline Lei

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #13 on: September 05, 2015, 09:46:17 PM »
Bing and Dan moved to Baguio City from Cavite five years ago for the cool weather. Nice lovely couple, we became like family. He is a widower from Austria and had worked and retired from Canada as well.  Due to his being overweight and health problems, Dan hardly can walk and so is homebound. The only time he goes out is when he goes to see his doctor and so my brother goes along to help them. He got no medical insurance. According to Bing, they can't get married otherwise he will lose his Austrian pension. He gets Canadian pension drawn from his Canadian account, issued a check to Bing which she deposit in her Philippines account and withdraw it later on. His Austrian pension, she said, stay in an Account in Austria and his wheelchair bound lawyer son in Canada took care of it. She also said he got a house in Canada and willed  it to his son with the condition that if he needed money, his son will take care of it.

I admire Bing.... she takes good care of Dan, she is very down to earth, has a happy disposition and has plenty of friends from her church and is known for her kind generosity. Dan adores her.

Eight days ago, Bing woke me up in the middle of the night crying and a bit hysterical, Dan just slumped in his chair. When I went to see him, I know he suffered from stroke. Losing no time, I said to call an ambulance(it's free). Dan with slurred speech refused to go to the hospital, no money he said. Bing insisted. In 15 minutes the ambulance came but I have to go to the highway nearby to wait for them so they know where to go. Five EMT's plus my brother had a hard time lifting him up to the 5 stairs and to the ambulance.To make the story short, he  stayed in the ICU for the duration. On his second day, the hospital wanted a deposit. On the his fourth day, they ask to settle the account, other wise he be discharged. Bing was able to withdraw this month's pension and his son sent 2000 Canadian dollars as deposit. Today Dan passed away...his bill as of today excluding doctor's fee, 170,000 pesos. Due to time differences, Bing was unable to talk to Dan's son in Canada. The hospital needed to be paid and so I had to pitch in a few thousand pesos for deposit and talked to the Director to give Bing a promisory note. It's a blessing that Bing bought a funeral plan in Cavite during the time she worked abroad and transferred the plan for Dan's use. She has to pay 15,000 extra though for a bigger casket to fit him. I mentioned about cremation as a simple and cheaper option and Bing said, the son has to decide. Bing wanted to have the body in the funeral home and the video send to the relatives abroad and for her to keep. If the son wanted him cremated...so be it, at an extra fee of 30,000 pesos. She talked also about having the usual 40 days prayer for the dead in their place where they rent. This means having a lot of his supportive church friends for 40 nights and then she goes back to Cavite.

Bing is very hopeful that the son will send all the money needed for the hospital bill and dad's funeral...and for some reason it made me cringe. I hope so. At the back of my mind, what if the son has no money upfront? Why did they not try to save some money for emergencies? I know a lot of Filipino friends and relatives here, when they have emergencies, medical or death in the family, they rely on immediate relatives abroad. But in their case, they have the resources and why did Dan entrusted his resources to his son? Why did he not think of Bing and plan when the time comes? We all can learn from their situation.

Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

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Re: I have a question for those on here about plans when the time comes....
« Reply #14 on: September 05, 2015, 10:14:00 PM »
Our condolences go out to Bing and may Dan RIP. We all will never know what state of mind a retiree may be in managing their finances beyond their golden years. Only they know what their own reasons are for doing things their own way. 
Looks like Bing will have a lot of talking to do with Dan's son in Canada in order to settle all of Dan's affairs and find out where she stands after all is said and done.   
Your topic question? We all have to do what's within our means and do the right thing for our immediate family when our time comes.
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
"It's always a matter of money"!
"Do on to others as they would do on to You, but do it first"!
"Different strokes for different folks"!
"Que Sera Sera"!