Philippines Insider" The Ultimate Philippines Travel Guide for Tourists and Expats
Philippines Insider" The Ultimate Philippines Travel Guide for Tourists and Expats

Author Topic: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!  (Read 105063 times)

Offline hayling

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Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« on: August 14, 2017, 02:51:19 AM »
I have been planning for over a year to come over, and live in a quiet area, Lezo, Aklan, with my dear friend, who I met on FB
We talk every day, and she is geniune, but now my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.

I get everything from the humidity, the begging, the crime, terrorism, all which are in the US also.
I guess I just am looking for a balance from those there, to say I can make it and survive, especially in a quiet area, very rural in a small community. I know life will be totally different, that is the appeal to break away from the stresses of NYC, and I am open eyed to know that there are different stresses there.

I can survive on my monthly pension, and for the last months this has been my ambition, but those here are constantly bombarding me with links, to all the downsides, and I don't seem to have anyone, apart from the couple of people I know there in The Philippines to support my ambition.

Offline Lee2

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2017, 03:37:30 AM »
My opinion, don't ever let others tell you how to live your life and especially those who only read about the Philippines. I had the same thing happen to me over 23 years ago and had I foolishly listened, then I would have missed out on one fantastic lady and all the happiness she and our time in the Philippines has brought into my life. You can always marry your lady and then bring her back to the U.S. if that is where life leads you but you will never know if you can hit the ball or if the Philippines will be for you, if you never get up to bat.
:) Happily married since 1994 & live part of the year in Cebu and the rest in S. Florida.

Offline Hestecrefter

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2017, 05:29:32 AM »

 but those here are constantly bombarding me with links, to all the downsides, and I don't seem to have anyone, apart from the couple of people I know there in The Philippines to support my ambition.

Before you departed the U.K. to live in New York, did you have friends and family bombarding you with material related to the downsides of living in the U.S. and NYC in particular?  As you acknowledge, lots of bad stuff there too, but that did not stop you.  So why balk at the Phiiippines?

Perhaps you should introduce the naysayers to this forum, where they can read the posts of many here who have made comfortable lives for themselves in the Phils.  Anyway, I think you have little to lose by at least making the trip and checking it all out.  As long as you have an exit strategy.

On a personal note, I made my first trip to the RP about 23 years ago.  I did not like it at all.  I could not wait to leave.  But, my gf was from there and I went along with making twice-yearly trips from our home in SoCal where we were then living.  After a few of those trips, my views changed and I found myself not wanting to leave.  We moved there in 1998 and I stayed until 2002.  I am now married to a different Filipina and living in Canada.  I would not rule out moving back to the RP.  I would choose just about anyplace there over NYC.

Offline copusmaximus

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2017, 06:28:05 AM »
like others have said in many posts before this take a trip visit the girl visit the area have open mind open eyes closed wallet lol .try it first then if all goes well make full proper plans to make the big move .

Offline hitekcountry

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2017, 11:21:57 AM »
You didnít say whether or not you have already visited the Philippines. If you have not yet visited then I would say that absolutely must be your first step. Youíll learn so much more from a visit then from what you can read or from advice from others or any other way.

Then go from there.

Donít listen to others, you can find trouble anywhere or you can choose to avoid it. Just use common sense and youíll be fine.

I've been to the Philippines twice and I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.


Offline Art, just a re(tired) Fil-Am

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2017, 11:31:38 AM »
Boots on the ground is the only way you will find out if the Philippines is for you.
I would only suggest not living in a rural area near your Filipino extended family, unless you don't mind roughing it and putting up with your extended family's dramas. I've been there and I didn't like it. I prefer the more modern life with all the amenities.
I'm a Fil/Am and grewup in the U.S. for 40 yrs with American tastes and behavior. So, I prefer the modern lifestyle.
It's just my wife and myself living in our home in a quiet, clean and safe gated subdivision with all the modern amenities and conviencies. We've lived here since 1998 and plan to stay permenantly.
"Life is what we all make it to be"!
"It's always a matter of money"!
"Do on to others as they would do on to You, but do it first"!
"Different strokes for different folks"!
"Que Sera Sera"!

Offline BudM

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2017, 01:16:08 PM »
Hey man, yeah, do not make a decision without first coming here.  Spend some time here.  If you then decide to move here, and you can as you say, survive on your monthly pension, then you better have a backup plan if something goes wrong.  It is not as inexpensive to live here as some think.  Not if you are used to a western lifestyle anyway.

I decided 9 years ago that I wanted to retire here as I felt I knew a lot about the Philippines.  When I retired in January of 2013, over the course of the next few months, I got rid of everything.  And I mean everything.  All I had left in the US was bank accounts to go back to if need be.  I made two trips a year in 2011 and 2012 prior to moving and it was at the beginning of that period of time that I met my wife.  I lived here for 6 months when I got married for the first and hopefully only time and I was halfway through 60 before my first and for sure only child. My boy is only 3 and a few months but luckily, he has someone reliable and trustworthy to chase after him. I am living a comfortable and happy life now as everything has been great since I retired.  Just a little bit of stress on rare occasion but, no where near what the stress was during my working career.

On the other hand, I have seen and mainly heard of expats who outspend their available funds.  Right now, I just saw where one is begging for money to cover a trip from within the Philippines to a destination within the Philippines.  Not the first time he has begged either.  Well, if you ask me, those several big purchases with a main one apparently being more than you really need can take a toll on your funding.

So, I guess what you really need to do if you decide to move here and not look back, just make sure you got the money to do it.  Oh yeah.  And if you do, don't be one of those guys who constantly moans and groans about everything that you don't like or feel is wrong in the Philippines.  Because that makes you just feel miserable.  No matter where you live, it is up to you to make it a good or bad experience.
Whatever floats your boat.

Offline lost_in_samoa

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2017, 04:59:55 PM »
my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.

I once had a female cousin tell me that she wanted better for me than Ester.  Doubtless she had one of her BFF's in mind.  Lost track on how many divorces she's had.

In about '99 or 2K,  I sat down with all the WSJ articles on "Are you saving enough to retire?" and put a pencil to it. Math did not and never would work out.  After some serious talks, we decided on retiring to the RP.

So we went on a harsh financial plan.  Started working, paid off, and saved up.  Started looking for land in 2004. Purchased our farm in 2008.  Retired in 2010.

Over the years we vacationed here 10 or so times.  We have spent a good deal of our lives together on the fringes of civilization.  I had a good idea what I was getting into.  But it was still a bit of a shock.

We have never liked the "modern" lifestyle.  Don't like being spoon-fed shrink wrapped, marketing conceived, legal department approved, crap.  So we live an agrarian lifestyle in the provinces.

It is more expensive living here than you might think.  Frustrations are bountiful.  But it can fit some folks.  Trick is ..... are you one of them?   

If your serious, try before you buy.  Vacation and live like the Barangay does.  Still like it?  Start saving and planning.

Hope this helps.



« Last Edit: August 14, 2017, 05:13:38 PM by lost_in_samoa »

Offline M.C.A.

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2017, 09:29:44 PM »
Hayling you'll do just fine, you're only concern will be dealing immigration because it sounds like you're single, that's something you could work on before you get here, it's a long trip and no fun dealing with your immigration status here, you will want to stay. Philippine Consulate General in NY.  http://www.newyorkpcg.org/
My views would be from someone who lives out in the province close to in-laws on a pension.  Norwegian and French heritage.

Offline iamjames

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2017, 09:51:15 PM »
Hayling you'll do just fine, you're only concern will be dealing immigration because it sounds like you're single, that's something you could work on before you get here, it's a long trip and no fun dealing with your immigration status here, you will want to stay. Philippine Consulate General in NY.  http://www.newyorkpcg.org/


???? Being single has nothing to do with immigration here. Dealing with immigration is as easy here as tying ones shoelaces. Just come any time you want and stay for up to three years  (then leave for a day and come back for 3 more years). You will have to extend your visa every two months or six months.

My advice is not about living here but the lady you met online. There are 100 scams for every genuine case. Be very careful. If she has already asked for some money (for anything from feeding the hungry baby to medical treatment for the sick Caribou) the be wary. This is only something you will learn from lots of experience so possibly I am wasting my time even trying to warn you.

Offline FastWalk

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2017, 11:00:32 PM »
If life is great where your at,  stay.    In my opinion the chances of getting into trouble for any variety of reasons are about the same in any place.   It is just that the trouble will be different,  but trouble all the same.

If I was going to run out of money,  Philippines is one of the last place on earth I would want to be.  If I had enough to get buy,  then it has many good points and for many of us the love of our life is either from or living there.

I still remember military basic training,  wow it was a culture shock...  And many told me not to do it for lots of reasons.   Best choice I ever made.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Offline JoeLP

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2017, 01:43:23 AM »
Iamjames made a very good point.  Immigration is VERY easy to get things done with.  So don't worry about the marriage side.
Other great points, if you want to live here like you do in any first world country...the cost is pretty much near the same. 
If you are planning a more rural living, like I did and am doing now, make sure you have someone you trust very much.  My Tina is amazing and did a lot of the work making my transition smooth.  I do live very easily on my pension.  But I know for a fact if I wanted to move into Cebu City or Manila or any other major city, it would be a whole different story.
I looked up the place you mentioned over on Panay island.  You should be safe there.  You won't be too far from where the founder of Precious Moments retired to and I believe most ceramic tall dolls for precious moments(not the figurines, but the 18 inch dolls) are still made at some Precious Moments park setup there. 
You should be very safe form any of the muslim terrorism and probably safe even form the NPA.  More of less these days the NPA doesn't mess with foreigners as much as they battle the government.
Also you are far from any of the cities.  Almost opposite from Iloilo.  So the costs should be low.  But, the "fine living" of first world is probably not to much in view in that area also.

Best of luck.  And as others have said, I suggest boots on the ground before the move.
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

Offline hayling

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #12 on: August 17, 2017, 12:41:43 AM »
Thank you all for all your words of encouragement and giving me the balance I was looking for. I think people are so quick to see the downsides of everything, and maybe that is just an understandable warning of the hazards of live anywhere.
I thank you all for taking the time to write. I have never been to The Philippines before, and to be honest, I have only been to countries that have a similar western culture, so I am aware and excited of the challenges ahead.

I will be coming soon, I always really was, but I was looking just for what you guys have given me, which is the words of positive encouragement, so thanks again.


Offline hayling

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #13 on: August 17, 2017, 03:43:44 AM »
If life is great where your at,  stay.    In my opinion the chances of getting into trouble for any variety of reasons are about the same in any place.   It is just that the trouble will be different,  but trouble all the same.

If I was going to run out of money,  Philippines is one of the last place on earth I would want to be.  If I had enough to get buy,  then it has many good points and for many of us the love of our life is either from or living there.

I still remember military basic training,  wow it was a culture shock...  And many told me not to do it for lots of reasons.   Best choice I ever made.

Thanks, actually I KNOW she is not a scam, we have known each other for well over a year, never asked once for money, works hard herself for very little, and has great life values. We talk on the phone almost every day and video chat. We even have a house lined up which belongs to her cousin who permenantly works away, but we will pay her a small monthly rent of 3,000PHP per month, wi-fi is an extra 1,000..
I will maybe have to put air-con in, but as far as I have looked, it is all as it seems, but thanks for the heads up, which always make sense

Offline hayling

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #14 on: August 17, 2017, 03:51:53 AM »
Iamjames made a very good point.  Immigration is VERY easy to get things done with.  So don't worry about the marriage side.
Other great points, if you want to live here like you do in any first world country...the cost is pretty much near the same. 
If you are planning a more rural living, like I did and am doing now, make sure you have someone you trust very much.  My Tina is amazing and did a lot of the work making my transition smooth.  I do live very easily on my pension.  But I know for a fact if I wanted to move into Cebu City or Manila or any other major city, it would be a whole different story.
I looked up the place you mentioned over on Panay island.  You should be safe there.  You won't be too far from where the founder of Precious Moments retired to and I believe most ceramic tall dolls for precious moments(not the figurines, but the 18 inch dolls) are still made at some Precious Moments park setup there. 
You should be very safe form any of the muslim terrorism and probably safe even form the NPA.  More of less these days the NPA doesn't mess with foreigners as much as they battle the government.
Also you are far from any of the cities.  Almost opposite from Iloilo.  So the costs should be low.  But, the "fine living" of first world is probably not to much in view in that area also.

Best of luck.  And as others have said, I suggest boots on the ground before the move.

Thank you so much for the valuable insight, and all the information. I am under no illusion that moving to a rural simple life, where resources are totally different will take some geting used to, but that is the appeal for me. I know I may say different when I get there, and I know there are no creature comforts that I have now, but to strip life down to basics for me after living in the greed of NY and other places, attracts me.
We have a house which is very low cost, less than 3000PHP per month it looks better than this now, but it is large, and has a shower and bathroom, real matress bed and more. I want to grow my own veg, we already have so many fruit trees, and Lezo and Kalibo are close enough for most facilities.