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Author Topic: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!  (Read 105065 times)

Offline M.C.A.

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #30 on: August 19, 2017, 03:33:17 PM »
Hestecrefter... Good job on buying the chicken at 140 pesos instead of the 250 pesos, and you have made my point by knowing what the prices are or what you expect to pay for meat, vegetables and fruits, an expat will never learn if he keeps sending someone to buy his things.  Example, when we were visiting as tourists the in-laws would get a 50 kilo sack of rice (1993 price) for 3,000 pesos that's what we had to pay and then late on we found out it more like 1000 pesos, another time a helper would run and get my local made hamburgers the price turns out to be 10 pesos but he was telling 15 pesos and he still got a tip for running, not big money but it adds up.

If the price is too much I won't buy it, when you calculate the exchange rate and what you get doesn't' make sense or you'd be better off buying a whole rotessiere chicken for less than an uncooked one you have some issue with the vender and you begin to understand the value of things and what you are willing to pay for them, I think the only time I might pay more for an item is when it's not normally sold in any store and I'll never see it again, things like quality computer chairs at the Japanese surplus, real steel parts for bikes... today I bought a bracket for my bike basket, my bike is surplus from Japan and I had everything for the basket except the upper basket bracket, I paid 100 pesos for original quality.

How is it possible for an expat to understand prices if he doesn't live and learn directly in the markets or in the grocery stores, impossible unless we are constantly buying items, and I don't buy vegetables or fruits in the grocery stores the prices are doubled but from my neighbors mainly or the occasional fruit seller but some items such as lettuce or cheese I have to buy at these chained grocery stores and it's expensive. 

Another note is if you watch how Philippine citizen or (wife) will ask for prices and the reaction they keep it respectful and friendly even if it's high and then work with the price see if you can get if for less, most times you can it comes down to many factors.
My views would be from someone who lives out in the province close to in-laws on a pension.  Norwegian and French heritage.

Offline bigrod

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #31 on: August 19, 2017, 07:03:39 PM »
My Asawa has since before we were married always gave me the receipt from the market(Waltermart, SM, etc.). To this day I still peruse them, since it gives me an idea of the price.  When it comes to produce like lettuce etc we will drive to Tagayatay to get it, yes the price goes up and down with the season.  Knowing the local prices is also helpful when shopping at S&R when buying the local items there or even buying import items that are sold locally.  Never hurts to know what the locals pay for an item.  I will nicely inform a plengke vendor that I can walk a few vendors over and get it for a better price.  Normally they will sell for the same price because they know you are knowledgeable about the cost and don't want to lose a sale.  The more the expat learns/knows the better of they will be. 

Chuck
Life is  to short not to live it right the first time

Offline codefreeze

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #32 on: August 25, 2017, 09:30:15 PM »
I have been planning for over a year to come over, and live in a quiet area, Lezo, Aklan, with my dear friend, who I met on FB
We talk every day, and she is geniune, but now my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.
<snip>

Some very good info in this thread. I will just throw in my own two pesos.

Coming back to your main question (see quote) - I wouldn't let others dictate your life direction. I made that mistake for too many years and ended up miserable. As soon as I started living life on my own terms things got a lot better. It put a few people's noses out of joint - family mostly - but that's their problem, not mine.

Life is too short not to follow your heart. You will have an adventure in Phils!

p.s People tend to be negative and imagine all the worst case scenarios. They don't like people upsetting their status quo. When I first went to Thailand I had everything thrown at me from kidnapping, to gold-digging harpies, to AIDS, to poverty. Guess what? None of those terrible things happened!

p.p.s I've also really enjoyed my time in Phils and looking forward to my trip next year.

Offline trevor

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #33 on: August 26, 2017, 05:02:12 PM »
Hayling... Many lessons learned on the actual costs of items, vegetables and products, never send a family remember to buy for you, do this yourself and also check out your area and look for the lower prices, it's a chore but you might need to leave the girl friend at the home and do this on your own, Filippina has no patience and they don't like wandering around looking for the lowest prices, they pay whatever because it's not their money or they have in-laws (slaves) that go and get the items and you'll pay more.

Another learning lesson get rid of the wife's special assistant or in-law slave, if mother is in the house evict her, give her money to hit the road, if this is the mothers home than your stuck with her and all her kids, it'll be costly, sugar, cream, coffee, rice, soaps, detergents will all evaporate tiny bag by tiny bag to her kids.
Just my two cents also. True M.C.A. never let a family member do your shopping. When we used to live in the family compound this one BIL. would do most of the cooking for us, well should i say for the whole extended family as well only that we were the ones providing all the food. Wife would give him P1000.00 to go shop for vegetables etc. Guy never return any change. One day my wife decided to do the shopping only to figure out that he was keeping from P300 to P400. daily. Now P400  for five to six days adds up to about P8000.00 per month. No wonder he volunteered to do the cooking and food shopping. Never trust anyone. To the OP, life is what you make it. Do what you have to do for your own enjoyment. I went through the same like you mentioned. Well to make a long story short this is our 16th. year of marriage with a beautiful 12 yrs. old daughter. Life is good here in the Ph.   Good luck.
Never look down on anyone and always extend a helping hand. Tomorrow the role may be reverse.
Life is what you make it. Nothing to do with luck.

Offline piozam13

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #34 on: August 27, 2017, 11:14:15 AM »
Only you can make your dreams come true.

Offline M.C.A.

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #35 on: August 27, 2017, 05:13:13 PM »
Just my two cents also. True M.C.A. never let a family member do your shopping. When we used to live in the family compound this one BIL. would do most of the cooking for us, well should i say for the whole extended family as well only that we were the ones providing all the food. Wife would give him P1000.00 to go shop for vegetables etc. Guy never return any change. One day my wife decided to do the shopping only to figure out that he was keeping from P300 to P400. daily. Now P400  for five to six days adds up to about P8000.00 per month. No wonder he volunteered to do the cooking and food shopping. Never trust anyone. To the OP, life is what you make it. Do what you have to do for your own enjoyment. I went through the same like you mentioned. Well to make a long story short this is our 16th. year of marriage with a beautiful 12 yrs. old daughter. Life is good here in the Ph.   Good luck.

Good on you Trevor for figuring that out, it's not enough you feed the whole family but they want cash too for their hard work?  LOL.  Hopefully you ditched the extended family we sure did and the Mother in-law was the first culprit and hoodlum to hit the road.

Real happy for you and your family, that's allot of money to lose I couldn't afford to waste 8000 pesos to anyone.
My views would be from someone who lives out in the province close to in-laws on a pension.  Norwegian and French heritage.

Offline grahamw

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #36 on: August 28, 2017, 10:00:08 PM »
Whenever possible, and  when I need something doing (like construction or transportation) I give my family members employment... at the correct going rate for the work.

So far this has worked out fine. No credit needed. No loans. No loss of face.

Offline lost_in_samoa

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #37 on: August 29, 2017, 06:41:01 AM »
Whenever possible, and  when I need something doing (like construction or transportation) I give my family members employment

For the most part it works out well. 

It does get sticky when relatives are not "motivated".  Letting them go, or garnishment, presents problems.

The best answer, that I have found, is to carefully explain that every piso that is siyang, is one less piso to share.  That is understood easily enough.  And usually works.

The other issue is craftsmanship, (for lack of a better word).  I've spent years teaching that a task involves setting up, doing quality work, and then cleaning up.

We've lost countless piso's because tools/materials are left on the job site, not maintained, laid down where ever convenient, and subsequently damaged or lost.



 

Offline David690

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #38 on: August 30, 2017, 12:26:30 AM »
For the most part it works out well. 

It does get sticky when relatives are not "motivated".  Letting them go, or garnishment, presents problems.

The best answer, that I have found, is to carefully explain that every piso that is siyang, is one less piso to share.  That is understood easily enough.  And usually works.

The other issue is craftsmanship, (for lack of a better word).  I've spent years teaching that a task involves setting up, doing quality work, and then cleaning up.

We've lost countless piso's because tools/materials are left on the job site, not maintained, laid down where ever convenient, and subsequently damaged or lost.

It's for those very reasons that I would not employ family members, or anybody else for that matter, that didn't have the requisite skills to carry out the job to my complete satisfaction.  I always want to have the freedom to reprimand or fire anybody that didn't come up to my standards, and that would be difficult, if not impossible, if family were involved.  Menial tasks OK, but nothing that requires any skills or experience. 
Londoner at heart

Offline Gray Wolf

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #39 on: September 05, 2017, 02:05:17 AM »
When I first told family and friends that I had found a new woman who lives in the PH, I got the same song and dance as everyone else. Too much crime, too many terrorists, the women are all gold diggers, etc, etc. But I felt I had done sufficient research to make my first trip a safe one, so I went. Long story short, Gloria and I celebrated 17 years of blissful marriage Sep 1st
In the time we've been together I've visited numerous times and been to several cities and islands in the archipelago. We've driven all over Luzon, visited beaches, been through the Cordillera mountains several times and built a house. Not one time in all these years have I experienced anything like what people warned me about. We've walked the streets of Manila at night, gone shopping in Quiapo every visit and hung out with locals drinking beer. No problems at all.

I keep my head on a swivel, never flash cash or wear fancy jewelry in public. We travel with family and friends and always have someone watching our backs. I speak enough Tagalog to be polite and maintain a big smile on my face everywhere I go. Can I get myself in trouble? Sure. It would be easy. But it's also relatively easy to not get into trouble and still have a good time.

When we are at home in Bagong Silang, I feel very safe and comfortable. Everything I need is either in my brother in law's sari sari, or close enough that it can be had within a few minutes. Travel to the local malls is fun and I find everyone very helpful and courteous. I've been to the Ace in SM Fairview so many times, they know me by sight when I walk in and are always ready and willing to help me find what I need.

Keep your mind on what's ahead and don't let anyone talk you out of giving yourself a shot at happiness with your new girl. It could be the best move you've ever made.
Louisville, KY USA - Bagong Silang, Caloocan City, PH

Offline grahamw

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #40 on: September 06, 2017, 12:12:24 AM »
It's for those very reasons that I would not employ family members, or anybody else for that matter, that didn't have the requisite skills to carry out the job to my complete satisfaction.  I always want to have the freedom to reprimand or fire anybody that didn't come up to my standards, and that would be difficult, if not impossible, if family were involved.  Menial tasks OK, but nothing that requires any skills or experience.

I understand where you're coming from, but I naturally only employ those who are able to do the work competently. They supply their own tools, and work to a very high standard (for the provincial Philippines) at very low cost. Every family is different of course.

As I am a building surveyor, I have no problem supervising the work and in identifying any shortcomings, but we (foreigners) also have to make allowances for where we are, otherwise our 'westerner ways' are not going to contribute to a happy and peaceful way of life.  ;)

Offline David690

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #41 on: September 06, 2017, 12:20:18 AM »
I understand where you're coming from, but I naturally only employ those who are able to do the work competently. They supply their own tools, and work to a very high standard (for the provincial Philippines) at very low cost. Every family is different of course.

As I am a building surveyor, I have no problem supervising the work and in identifying any shortcomings, but we (foreigners) also have to make allowances for where we are, otherwise our 'westerner ways' are not going to contribute to a happy and peaceful way of life.  ;)

Yes absolutely agree Graham, we need to take into account where we are living.  I have no issues in principle in using family members if they are capable, the difficulty would come, for me at least, having to pull them up or even get rid of them if they weren't doing a good job.  Would cause more family friction than I would care to deal with.
Londoner at heart

Offline ABCDeVil

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #42 on: September 09, 2017, 03:53:16 PM »
I need to work a health plan, I am prescribed meds for my heart, but am otherwise in good health, I do realise that PI may not be the easiest place to balance good health care..

I think my other main concern is the total and constant humidity, which seems relenting, but again I hope to adjust in some ways.

Hi Hayling,

On the aspect of your heart meds. My brother had a heart transplant, years ago, anyway, he has his wife still in PI, he is in Aus. Well when he comes here to live for months on end, he brings ALL his meds with him. If this is an option for you, then do that. Also, whilst my bro lives here, he has canvassed the local pharmacy's to find if he can get his meds here & at what cost. Being from Aus, he is on a gov disability pension, so for a 6 mths stay here, he brings a full suitcase of meds, with Dr cert to prove the reason for SO MANY meds. It works well for him, as the suitcase only costs him about $2-5, (yes you read that right). But if bought here, it was P25-30K/month. Bring enough for the first part, then source costs from PI.

As for humidity etc, buy a few gel filled (necklace type) thingys they will help. Also, it is common here to wear/carry a hand towel type of cloth to hang inside your shirt back, or in your hand to wipe the sweat away constantly. At night, use some baby powder on your neck, upper back, to help reduce the heat. Get yourself a very well aerated hat. Baseball caps just trap more heat. Keep yourself hydrated, goes without saying, but ensure there is a ready supply of purified water on offer. As the locals drink the local water, NOT GOOD for our soft foreign guts LOL. Something the locals take for granted.

Hope that helps your plans.

ABC

Offline UNGGOY

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #43 on: February 18, 2018, 11:32:38 AM »
I have been planning for over a year to come over, and live in a quiet area, Lezo, Aklan, with my dear friend, who I met on FB
We talk every day, and she is geniune, but now my family and friends are trying to convince me in every way to stay here in the US.

I get everything from the humidity, the begging, the crime, terrorism, all which are in the US also.
I guess I just am looking for a balance from those there, to say I can make it and survive, especially in a quiet area, very rural in a small community. I know life will be totally different, that is the appeal to break away from the stresses of NYC, and I am open eyed to know that there are different stresses there.

I can survive on my monthly pension, and for the last months this has been my ambition, but those here are constantly bombarding me with links, to all the downsides, and I don't seem to have anyone, apart from the couple of people I know there in The Philippines to support my ambition.

"I get everything from the humidity, the begging, the crime, terrorism, all which are in the US also."

How many times a year are Americans kidnapped-for-ransom and beheaded in the USA.

Something to seriously consider before going to the Philippines.

There are rural and relaxing areas in the US too. Way more than the Philippines.

And the US? Hot and humid? I am wearing 2 sweaters and 2 pairs of sweat pants as I type this, trying to stay warm in -25F!
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Offline The.Shadow

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Re: Family & Friends Trying To Convince Me Not To Come!
« Reply #44 on: February 20, 2018, 05:36:17 AM »
And the US? Hot and humid? I am wearing 2 sweaters and 2 pairs of sweat pants as I type this, trying to stay warm in -25F!

Try visiting south of Iowa (Florida, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas) in summer and tell me how it feels  :D