When Gloria and I met I made it clear to her that I was not rich, but merely a hard working man who was looking for a partner in life. By Filipino standards I may be considered well off because I have a vehicle (15 y/o Jeep) am able to go out for dinner occasionally and can buy whatever I need in the way of clothing, food, etc. When Glo joined me in the US she realized that I did not have money to give away. She also realized that if she wanted to help her family she would need to get a job, which she did, easily. Over the years, by working together we've been able to assist the family in many ways, including building a nice house (again, by Filipino standards) to use as a home base, lending assistance for needs on the farm and by assisting with tuition payments so the nieces and nephews could assure themselves of a good education and likelihood of gaining a good paying job, albeit overseas.
During our many visits over the years, I've been able to convince the family that I'm not rich, but simply a hard working man who is willing to give what I can. I work most every day when I'm there to continue servicing my customers and continue paying the bills at home. I've shared all of this info with the family so they can see for themselves that I am not a walking ATM machine. They never expect me to pay for things and are eternally grateful when I do offer to buy dinner or small things for the house and farm.
By working at a good job for the last 16+ years Gloria has also established her own Social Security benefits as well as a good 401K for her later years. She has done so well in fact that this past year she surpassed me in income earned. When we first met and established our relationship I told her father that I wasn't taking her away from the family, that I was the one looking for a new family to become a part of.
So, who gained the most in this relationship? I'd say we've broken even. I've provided her with the chance to become a US citizen, to establish her own retirement funds and to gain employment to not only help us have a comfortable life together, but to also help her family gain a stronger foothold with better education and jobs to support themselves and their immediate family. So when people make comments about me being "rich" I smile to myself and say "You betcha!" I'm rich with a caring, loving family that loves me for who I am and for helping them improve their lives