Here's my sad story.
I was very clear when I started seeing my girl. I was short term in Cebu City. So, by definition, ours had to be a short term relationship. However, I stayed longer than planned - we dated 3 months - and I FELL IN LOVE.
I would see her once or twice a week, then she would disappear, and be reachable only by text. I knew that the best explanation for her "disappearances" was that she was seeing someone else. But, because I didn't want an exclusive relationship, that was perfectly acceptable. I set my expectations for once or twice a week, continued dating other girls and things were fine.
During this time, I helped her financially, paid rent and other miscellaneous "emergencies". Things could have continued like that and it would have been great. But, I screwed it up... I took her on a couple of trips. Spent more quality time with her, and during these trips, I fell in love. I started listening and partially believing when she told me that "I was the only one." Even though, she would only be available once or twice a week and completely disappear for the rest.
But then, my failsafe kicked in. My exit flight was scheduled and I left Cebu City and said goodbye to my girl. Saying goodbye was one of those difficult things to do. My heart was breaking. We were supposed to spend our last days together, but she had another "emergency" and I only saw her for a few hours before my flight. Those few hours were the hottest and saddest hours of my life. I left heartbroken and completely flustered.
After I left Cebu, we communicated. We video chatted almost daily and nightly. Honestly, she was more available and communicative when I was out of the country. We were both sad that I was gone, but I was safely out of the Philippines.
Some of you may guess what happens next.
She told me she was pregnant with my child. Before you tell me of the stupidity of an unplanned pregnancy, I would characterize myself as careful, but imperfect. So, my being a father is IMPROBABLE, but possible. So, I came back to Cebu City. We had a great week or so, she was incredibly available that week. This is where I let myself believe even more that I was the only one. Then she disappeared again (that's what started my previous post).
Wait! There's a plot twist! I got access to her FB page.
She made a friend request. I'm guessing that it was accidental. When you're given the keys to Pandora's box, it's impossible to resist. I opened it and looked inside.
Here's what I found, but I would characterize as okay: She was dating someone else and had been for most of our relationship. As I said earlier, that was expected and perfectly acceptable.
Here's what's not OK, in chronicle order. The following is a mixture of my recollections/notes and timing of her FB posts.
1. While I’m out of the country, she asked for $400 to pay for her mother's heart procedure.
2. Her FB shows engagement rings on that day. (I'm guessing, I paid for those rings).
3. FB: They're engaged.
4. The day after their engagement, she notifies me that she's pregnant and that "I'm the only one"
5. So, I came back to Cebu city.
6. She asked for $200 to pay for her mother's oxygen/medicine.
7. The next day, Her FB status changed to "married". I'm guessing, I paid for something marriage related.
8. She tells me her mom died (nothing on FB about this - I’m guessing, her Mom’s not dead).
She may have figured out her FB mistake. We haven’t talked since and weren’t supposed to for the rest of this week. I’m currently trying to figure out next steps.
Here’s what I know:
My being a father is highly improbable. It’s more likely she’s pregnant with his child or she’s NOT pregnant. I saw her last at around the 8 week mark and there’s no baby bump indication.
I crossed over from “casual fling” to “scammed” when she asked for the big sums of money for her Mom and diverted it to engagement rings.
It’s one thing to date, it’s another to be engaged and/or married.
I will NEVER SEE HER AGAIN
Here’s the last thing I know: Even though I’ve been scammed, the thought and knowledge that I will never see her again, breaks my heart.
Topic: my sad story (Read 17128 times)